"New" iBooks Actually Old iBooks With Faster Processors.

Apple announced “new” iBooks yesterday with much fanfare and they have largely been well-received in the Mac community.

But upon further inspection of evaluation units received by Crazy Apple Rumors Site, these “new” iBooks appear merely to be old iBooks with faster processors, pre-installed Airport Extreme cards and larger hard drive options.

CARS’ results were also confirmed by other sources.

Putting an “old” iBook next to a “new” iBook, the New York Times’ David Pogue said “Look. They’re exactly the same. You can’t even tell they’re different until you crack it open with a chisel and look inside.

“That could void your warranty, though. There’s probably another way to check. But I don’t know what it is.”

Thinking for a minute, Pogue added “I guess you could turn it on. I’ve never done that, though. Is it this little round button here?”

At any rate, Pogue refused to call the iBooks “new”, as did Dan Gillmor of the San Jose Mercury News.

“Clearly the iBooks are not new,” Gillmor said. “Apple is pushing the same old tired design on its users.

“With, um, new processors, larger hard drives and pre-installed Airport Extreme cards.”

Apple has refused to address the controversy, even going so far as to trumpet the “new” iBooks on the company’s web site. Several class action lawsuits are in the works.

29 thoughts on “"New" iBooks Actually Old iBooks With Faster Processors.”

  1. Sembazuru is a very sick and horrible person. He never even read the Article which is about sexbots right?

  2. Actually I did read the article.

    Oh wait, you mean *after* I commented? Well…


    /me runs

  3. Sembazuru’s so called “first” post isn’t the first post at all. In fact, records indicate that even yesterday literally dozens of posts were made!

    I’ma sue ‘im.

  4. This old man, he played nine

    He played knick-knack on my spine

    Knick-knack paddywhack, give your dog a bone

    This old man would prefer eleven

  5. It’s like some kind of shareware thing now…I had to read to about the part with chisel before I could get into the comments.

    See? That’s what filters will do for you. Great. That’s just great. Does this mean that now we’re gonna get a nagware screen every five minutes? Huh?

    I can see it now, “You have been using Crazy Apple Rumors Site for 678 days, would you like to register and keep shareware development alive?” I mean, I finally couldn’t take the guilt of Graphic Converter, and I can’t live with out Xounds…but this is a step too far.

    What’s next? An open letter to Apple about stealing the emphasis of rumor-mongerers everywhere by announcing future products? Huh?

    Next thing you know, they’ll be charging for Movable-Type. Money-Grubers!!!!

  6. Final paragraph: “even going SO far as to trumpet…” not “to”

    See moltzy man, you are lucky you have pendants like me amongst your readership. 😀

  7. If you don’t want your “old” iBook, feel free to ship it to me. I’ll take great care of it (You see, I don’t own any Macs that were built in a year beginning with a “2”).

    All except you, Pogue. I prefer my iBooks to be functional.

    Oh, and, um, Go Sox!

  8. Ozi, I’m sorry, but your Pedant Badge has been revoked. Please send it back to headquarters immediately.

    As this is your first offense, you may be reinstated after you submit your monograph on the difference between pedants and pendants.

  9. Oh yea!!! Number 19. Yahoo!! Bite this boys!!! Hoorah!! Nineteen!! Nineteen!! Nineteen!! Nineteen!! Nineteen!! Nineteen!! Nineteen!! Nineteen!! Nineteen!! Nineteen!! Nineteen!! Nineteen!! Nineteen!! Nineteen!! Ninetee… Ninet…. Ni…

    Oh crap. It’s just not the same as eleventh.

  10. Didn’t you actually mean …

    N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nineteen. N-n-n-nineteen.



  11. The Amazing Lame Post Boy stands a top the tallest building in CARS, serveying all. Then, without warning he calls upon his uncanny power and utters a truely lame post…. “yee haw 22nd post….Amazing Lame Post Boy AWAY!!!!.”

  12. The Amazing Lame Post Boy’s ever faithful sidekick, Whipping Post, stares up at The Amazing Lame Post Boy atop the tallest building in CARS fearful that The Amazing Post Boy will fall.

    He also wonders if The Entity follows Baseball.

  13. it’s my freaking birthday and there’s no CARS.

    it’s true then…Santa is dead, found in a dumpster outside the Tooth Fairy’s apartment, shot in a drug deal gone bad with the Easter Bunny and a smart blonde.

    I’m just kidding…there’s no such thing as a smart blonde, har har har….

    I have nothing but a charred lump of coal for a heart…

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