After a blockbuster Macworld San Francisco, Apple has quietly reintroduced its erstwhile product matrix, which previously divided products into “Professional” and “Consumer” categories.
While the public use of the product matrix had fallen by the wayside, it was still clearly in use within Apple and was a determining factor in the rationalization of Apple’s product offerings.
According to sources in the know, the product matrix has been updated to reflect the introduction of the “low-end” Mac Mini and iPod Shuffle. Sources indicate that, in addition to the “Professional” and “Consumer” categories, Apple has added a third category for its new offerings: “Guys Named Moe.”
“It’s our considered opinion that there are a lot of guys named Moe out there,” said Apple Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller. “We intend to offer stylized, sophisticated and technologically state-of-the-art products that fit the various Moes’ price range.”
In mid-2003, Apple convened a panel of Moes and presented them with several potential product designs. Based on the results, the company began development of the Mac Mini, the iPod Shuffle and a chopped meat sandwich with horse radish, lettuce, and mustard on a kaiser roll that it later abandoned when a quality producer of kaiser rolls could not be found in Taiwan.
Several other products that met with the approval of the Moes are rumored to be still in the works. One is a hat that allows a user to hold beverages on his head and consume them through a straw and another helps the user scratch himself in those hard-to-reach areas.