As has already been reported by several news outlets, Apple CEO Steve Jobs was confronted by members of an environmental group at Apple’s annual meeting last week.
What has not been widely reported, how Jobs was also confronted by representatives of several other groups. According to sources who attended the meeting (for the third year in a row, Crazy Apple Rumors Site reporters were wrestled to the ground outside the meeting, but the joke is on them because we’re starting to like it), Jobs faced questioning from the following groups:
- Members of a seniors organization repeatedly showed Jobs pictures of their grandkids and demanded to know if they weren’t the cutest ever. They also explained that they were in a lot of pain and detailed their latest surgeries.
- A group of Star Trek nerds asked Jobs which he thought was the best time-travel episode: “City on the Edge of Forever” from the original series or “Yesterday’s Enterprise” from the Next Generation. When Jobs said both were good, the Star Trek nerds seemed satisfied, nodding and laughing “Yeah. Huh-huh. They’re both good.” before sitting down and listening to the rest of the meeting in polite silence.
- A gap-toothed 19th century Scottish factory worker with a bad cough demanded to know why Jobs didn’t “come down to poob anymoor.” Jobs responded that he had never been down to the pub, prompting the gap-toothed 19th century Scottish factory worker with a bad cough to ask if this was not the Cisco Systems annual meeting. Upon learning that, no, this was not the Cisco Systems annual meeting, the gap-toothed 19th century Scottish factory worker with a bad cough expressed his embarrassment and excused himself. But not after bumming a couple of “quid” from Avie Tevanian for a “carriage ride” over to the Cisco campus.
- Four fraternity brothers dressed in nothing but loin cloths presented Jobs with a paddle and asked that he spank them repeatedly to “complete their initiation.” Jobs declined to comply as there was ample evidence these weren’t fraternity brothers – at least not in the traditional sense – as the youngest appeared to be in his late 30s and another was carrying a copy of a magazine entitled Executive Spanking.
All, however, were Apple shareholders and entitled to attend the meeting. Including, oddly enough, the gap-toothed 19th century Scottish factory worker with a bad cough.