CARS Deposed!

Crazy Apple Rumors Site will not be posting this week as our entire staff has been deposed.

As you no doubt have heard, Apple is being sued by a woman claiming, among other things, that Apple discriminated against her because she was a lesbian.

The staff at CARS has been asked to provide testimony related to Apple’s deep and abiding love of lesbian ninjas, hot lesbian action and pretty much anything involving the word lesbian. While we cannot speak to the merits of the rest of the case, certainly we can prove this to be a spurious accusation.

While we’re sitting in windowless rooms under hot lights, drinking cup after cup of cold coffee and eating nothing but dry turkey sandwiches, please use the comments section to consider the following topic:

If Steve Jobs were to fight Michael Dell in Ultimate Combat, what weapon would you have to spot Dell in order to make it a fair fight?