Friday Feature: Crazy Apple Help Desk.

Every Friday, the staff at Crazy Apple Rumors Site answers common help questions based on our vast experience with Apple products and our fervent belief that we know more than you do.

Today… podcasting!

Q: I’ve been hearing a lot about this podcasting thing, but I’m a little unclear on the specifics. What is it exactly?
A: Podcasting expert Adam Curry has said that “Podcasting is when a young girl of good farm stock doth take her pods and cast them upon the firmament.”
Q: What? No he didn’t. Adam Curry never said that.
A: Yes he did.
Q: No, he didn’t and I know, because I’m not a real questioner. You made me up as a foil, simply to discuss what podcasting is, remember?
Q: Ha-ha! No, no, no. I’m just kidding. It’s me, Rob.
A: Oh.
Q: Rob… of your brain!
Q: Naw. I’m just kidding. Rob Thorne.

Q: I’m completely excited about podcasting as both a listener and a content creator. I believe that podcasting is an exciting new medium that will take the world by storm and that all disbelievers must perish in flames.
A: Ye know, back in my day, we had something quite a-similar to this here “podcasting”. We called it “radio”.
Q: What?! No way. Get out of here, old man.
A: ‘Tis true! And with “radio”, there weren’t no downloading ye had to do. You just turned on your “radio” and started a-listenin’!
Q: Oh, you’re a liar. You’re just a crazy old liar. I’m not listening to this anymore. This is nothing but a bunch of lies. Liar. Stupid old liar guy.
A: Nay. ‘Tis true. “Radio” we called it. ‘Twas a time “radio” ruled the land. Fed a nation. Raised a generation. Uh… fought a world war and…
Q: See, now you’re just making things up.
A: No, there really used to be this thing called “radio.”
Q: Oh, like I’m going to believe you now.

Q: I’ve been trying my hand at podcasting, but I’m having trouble getting good sound quality. I’m using GarageBand and I’m following Apple’s instructions to the letter, but it’s just not coming out right.
A: What’s your podcast?
Q: Um… well, that doesn’t really matter, does it? I mean… I just have a technical question about sound quality.
A: I’d just like to know.
Q: [sigh] It’s about… big butt… um… lesbian… uh… dwarf… uh… stuff. You know… porn. It’s called the Big Butt Lesbian Dwarf Porn Report. You know… weekly news kind of thing… what’s new in the industry.
A: Yeah, see, I don’t think you need any higher sound quality than you already have.
Q: OK. OK. That’s fair.