Event Coverage: Macworld Paris!

Crazy Apple Rumors Site’s Thor Samson was present in Paris when Steve Jobs met with members of the press and provides this transcript.

REPORTER: Steve, JOBS: The labels make more money from selling tracks on iTunes than when they sell a CD. There are no marketing costs for them. We are competing with piracy, REPORTER: Greedy?

JOBS: Yes, greedy.

REPORTER: Wow. That’s kind of mean, don’t you think?

JOBS: Not particularly. At any rate, large conglomerates don’t have feelings.

REPORTER: Ah. Like the worm.

SECOND REPORTER: Quoi?! C’est faux! Worms do so have feelings! Bwaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Ahhhh, Monsieur Slimy!!! [RUNS FROM THE ROOM, CRYING]

THIRD REPORTER: Pourquoi avez-vous dit cela? Vous savez il sensible est.

REPORTER: Um… well, anyway… I have only one more question. Are you chewing gum or something? What is that?

JOBS: No. Actually, it’s a piece of celery. You know that last bit of celery that you just can’t grind to a piece small enough to swallow?


JOBS: I’ve had this since Thursday. Thursday! But this bitch hopped into the wrong mouth, you know what I’m saying? I’ll grind this down if it’s the last thing I do. Steve Jobs isn’t going to be beaten by a lousy piece of celery.


JOBS: I got beat by a piece of rhubarb once. Mean son of a bitch. I chewed it for six months. I had a masseter muscle the size of a pot roast. I have nothing but respect for the rhubarb. Next question.

THIRD REPORTER: Steve, if you were locked in a cage with a bear and had to fight the bear and the bear was an angry bear… a scary bear… a hairy bear…

JOBS: I think I know where you’re going.

THIRD REPORTER: Yes. What weapon would you pick if you could choose any used by the Roman gladiators?

JOBS: The hasta.

THIRD REPORTER: Oh. Not the spatha?

JOBS: Is this a black bear or a brown bear?


JOBS: Heh, well I think I’d want something with a little more range with a brown bear! [GENERAL LAUGHTER] OK, that’s it for the question portion. I’d like to close with my rendition of “I Dreamed A Dream” from Les Miserables

ALL: Ooohhh…