Apple To Deliver Touch Sensory Product.

MacNN and other sites report today that Apple has filed a patent for “a device with multiple touch sensing devices”.

While some hold that this is proof positive that Apple will finally deliver a touch-screen tablet device that does half of what the Newton did, Crazy Apple Rumors Site sources believe it is a foray beyond the realm of the computer world.

According to those in the know, Apple is set to take its customers to a whole new level of touch sensory experience and deliver a breakthough in viscoelastic liquids not seen since the 1940s.

“Play-Doh, Silly Putty, they’ve both gotten soft,” said the New York Times’ David Pogue. “That market’s ripe for someone to come in and sex it up. Kids have been pressing Silly Putty against comic strips for over fifty years. That’s boring.”

Pogue said that Apple’s superior design capabilities make the company uniquely qualified to deliver a souped-up version of the venerable wads of squishable material for play.

“I’m thinking maybe chrome and aluminum squeezable dough that records a movie when you press it against a computer or TV screen.”

Asked how that could possibly work, Pogue shrugged off the question.

“Is that my problem? That’s not my problem. That’s Apple’s problem. Why are you asking me? You should be asking them. They’re the ones with the problem.”

Sources at Apple declined to comment, but did note that Pogue recently went off his meds.