You may have seen today that some other sites have posted poor Photoshop mock-ups of a supposed Apple phone. Please be advised that this is not the phone that Apple will announce at Macworld next month.
Crazy Apple Rumors Site has received actual photos of the forthcoming Apple phone and it looks nothing like that.
While members of the CARS have seen the photos, we are unable to post them because of the grave danger they pose to the Apple community. The reason for this is that the Apple design process and the genius of Jonathan Ive and Steve Jobs have reached such a pinnacle that the Apple phone is so blindingly beautiful that it cannot be viewed directly without driving the viewer insane.
The photos received by CARS were first viewed by Scooter the mail room guy who opened the envelope they came in and has since been in the men’s room clawing the flesh off his face. Fortunately, Scooter suffers from severe acne and his dermatologist said this may actually improve his skin condition.
If he’s not left a drooling psycho case.
We think he’ll get better.
We hope he’ll get better.
It’s not a great way to spend the holidays, though.
The Entity is, of course, immune to the effects of viewing the Apple phone and was even able to construct a pair of protective goggles that we’ve been using to look at the pictures.
At the risk of sounding like that Gizmodo jackass, it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen. It’s not white and it’s not chrome and it’s not brushed metal…
And yet it’s all of those. And it’s all the iPod nano colors and all other colors there are and yet…
It’s no color at all.
Kinda hard to describe.
Plus it comes with a lanyard!
How cool is that?!
We’re still not sure how Apple’s planning on getting around the whole “people go insane when they look at it” thing.
They say the G4 Cube did the same thing, though, so…
Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to tell you is, when you see some supposed pictures of the Apple phone, if they don’t drive you insane, then they’re just crappy Photoshop mock-ups.