Every Friday, the staff at Crazy Apple Rumors Site answers common help questions based on our vast experience with Apple products and our fervent belief that we know more than you do.
Q: I read recently that Apple had issued an enabler for 802.11n and I was wondering how I go about downloading and installing that.
A: Oh, you don’t want to do that.
Q: What? Why not?
A: Well, look, it’s one thing to be 802.11n. It’s another thing to be an 802.11n enabler.
Q: Ooh. Gosh. I hadn’t thought of that. I feel just terrible.
A: Yeah, I mean, it’s one thing for you to decide that you’re going to experiment with something that doesn’t even have a final spec, but to enable your Mac to get into the dangerous 802.11n lifestyle…
Q: I’m sorry! I didn’t think… Wait. What the hell are we talking about?
A: We’re talking about you and what a terrible, terrible person you are.
Q: All I wanted was a faster wireless network!
Q: I am not a… Well, OK, I am, but that’s got nothing to do with this!
Q: I was trying to install some RAM in my Mac Pro and, well, I kind of went a little crazy.
A: Oh. You mean you maxed it out?
Q: Oh, I maxed it out. I maxed the hell out of it.
A: Ooh! 16 GB?!
Q: Yeah. And then I got out the soldering iron!
A: You… what?
Q: I got some solder and I soldered a whole crap load more on top of it!
Q: Yeah! So, I’ve got 64 GB, but the problem is I can’t access it all.
A: Uh, well, yeah, that’s because it won’t take more than 16 GB.
Q: What? Sure it will. You just have to get out the soldering iron and…
A: No. Look, you can solder it all day long and…
Q: Actually, it took me a couple of days.
A: …you won’t be able to access any more than 16 GB.
Q: Mmm. No. I think you’re wrong. I think I just need some more solder.
A: Well, you give that a try and let me know how that works out.
Q: Oh, hey, do you know where I can buy solder by the pound?
Q: I got a new iMac few weeks ago and I’m trying to do some web development work on it but I’m having trouble configuring MAMP.
A: OK. Where are you hung up?
Q: Well, I have Apache set up. And I have MySQL configured and running. And I have PHP running. It’s just that I can’t seem to get the Old High Latin language XML running.
A: The what?
Q: But that’s not really crucial. What I really want to dig into is diagonal class inheritance.
A: Diagonal class inheritance?
Q: Yeah! When you’re coding you can inherit from the parent class or the one next to it! Or any class diagonal to the one you’re coding!
A: What? I’m… pretty sure that’s not right.
Q: Sure it is. Oh, and I really think I could leverage the option to compile packages with pretty bows.
A: Uh… you’re not really a programmer, are you?
Q: I like pretty bows.
A: Of course you do.