Crazy Apple Rumors Site has learned from highly reliable sources that Apple is preparing a new end-user license agreement (EULA) for its hardware products.
Annoyed that the company’s products are frequently featured in advertising, stock photos or entertainment with the signature Apple logo removed by digital editing or other means, Apple will now demand that all photographs and video of its products clearly display the Apple logo.
This agreement will be implemented as seal on the lip of the plastic bag normally covering Apple hardware. Breaking the seal will constitute agreeing to the EULA.
A visibly drunk senior vice president of worldwide marketing Phil Schiller slurred “You know, we put that shtupid logo on there for a reason. I don’t need Veronica fricking Mars putting a god damn flower vashe in front of it every time her MacBook Pro’s in a shot.
“Fricking pisses me off.”
Schiller took another slug of his Jager-bomb and yelled “I’m trying to shell shome computers here!”
Copyright activists preemptively denounced the move as a draconian measure that would prove unenforceable.
“If I want to put my genitalia over the Apple logo on my MacBook, have a picture taken of it from between my legs and then post it to a chat room,” said Cory Doctorow, “that’s my right as an Apple customer! It’s my machine and I con violate it however I like! I mean, I put Ubuntu on the damn thing! Humping the Apple logo is nothing.”
Other than Schiller, Apple declined to comment for this story. And we had to drive him home.