No words. They should have sent a poet.
Yours truly appeared on the Macworld Pundit Showdown with Andy Ihnatko, Adam Engst, Dan Moren and moderator Jason Snell. Thrill to the sounds of vacuous Mac jerks as they pretend to compete for points and something resembling a thin veneer of respectability. The competitiveness, pathos and excitement of a professional sporting event are, sadly, completely lacking from this hour of entertainment that the Des Moines, Iowa Macintosh Users Group newsletter called “Not worth reviewing.”
For you, however, sitting in your first floor apartment, eating Fiddle Faddle and watching episodes of the original Battlestar Galactica on Blu Ray while Googling cheesecake pictures of Maren Jensen and trying to resist the temptations of the flesh, well,
Yours truly appeared on the Macworld Pundit Showdown with Andy Ihnatko, Adam Engst, Dan Moren and moderator Jason Snell.
Thrill to the sounds of vacuous Mac jerks as they pretend to compete for points and something resembling a thin veneer of respectability. The competitiveness, pathos and excitement of a professional sporting event are, sadly, completely lacking from this hour of entertainment that the Des Moines, Iowa Macintosh Users Group newsletter called “Not worth reviewing.”
For you, however, sitting in your first floor apartment, eating Fiddle Faddle and watching episodes of the original Battlestar Galactica on Blu Ray while Googling cheesecake pictures of Maren Jensen and trying to resist the temptations of the flesh, facing yet another Christmas alone having alienated everyone you once held dear, well, it might be good for you.
It’s the woggles that did it for me, Nxxx.
And the Wombles, specifically regarding Wimbledon.
Bro Ų,
Know you will appreciate this and the Cousins will be able to modify for use against their least favourite baseball team.
What do you call an Australian who can handle a bat?
A vet.
Nxxx,
That’s way too sophisticated an insult for us.
And some of the fans aren’t all that bright. Like the guy who tried to start a cheer, and made the one syllable team name into two syllables because he had to use a cheer from another team in a different sport. Apparently he lacked rhythm. Or he was really drunk. Or both.
Curiously, I found it hard to sleep last night because I was trying to think of the funniest joke I know.
It’s not like I even have a lot of time on my hands.
Jeeez.
Aaaanyway, I still lean towards the Bob Monkhouse classic – economy of words, subtlety of wit:
People laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
They’re not laughing now…
I spent a considerable time cycling through Steve Wright-isms (our Cousin’s, Nxxx, not our hideous home-grown ‘In the Afternoon’ cretin) because I couldn’t believe he wasn’t my Number One Guy, but Bob still won. Feel free to correct this (doubtless) oversight.
Steve,
Our soccer fans chant “Engerland”, although in view of our past football supporters it should be “Anger-land.
Strangely we Celts never chant Scoterland, Irerland or Cymrurland.
Gaelic is hard to pronounce. Also probably difficult to rhyme.
And Welsh broke my spellcheck.
I chant ‘Oier-land’ when my ancestry overcomes me during the Six Nations (provided they’re not playing England, of course. Or not beating them heavily, at least).
So that is where the strong baritone rendition of “Low lie the fields of………” originates.
I’m not dead!
Well, at least I’m pretty sure of it.
The TSA wouldn’t have let me travel if I was, right?
Right?
111 post, Huh. Very inauspicious.
Are you sure you’re not *really* dead and don’t know it. Like Bruce Willis. And I don’t just mean in The Sixth Sense. I mean his film career generally.
TSA.
(pause)
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! *Inhale* HA HA HA
Ahem.
“Proops”
More important, is Huh?’s My Pantsâ„¢ alive?
First Sir Paul, then Bruce Willis, and now Huh? How many living dead must we accommodate? Do they pay rent?
Not sure.
Let me ask Elvis.
On a related note, PerversionTracker is back from the dead. Must be true, it’s in Gruber’s column.
One would think we’d have heard it first here given, well, you know…
Am I the only one suspicious that blank’s first post in a while relates to ‘perversion tracker’?
Almost like he’s been off ‘busy’ somewhere else, hmmm?
*Hmmmmmmmmm*….?
What the Proop is all *that* about?
Rent? Oh yeah… every month.
But that doesn’t mean I’m dead.
Proop me! What if I am?!?
Well, at least I know my Pants are still alive…
And yes, that is Pantsâ„¢.
Not Pants.
*Not* ‘sent from your iPad’, I presume, Huh??
Verizon has the iPhone? Surely we can now have a new post.
Right? Hell has frozen over and I did see a pig flying by my window.
Back in the dank deeps of Mac-related non-news website history, there was CARS, of course. CARS was not alone, however. There was also As the Apple Turns, and PerversionTracker.
AtAT just stopped one day, forever locked in a post-video iPod report from 2005. If one can get the site to load at all, that is.
PerversionTracker (a pun on VersionTracker, one might well assume) also disapppeared, reappeared, disappeared again, and now seems to be back.
Given that currently they’re posting with greater frequency than CARS, one might even say that they have taken the lead in Apple-related satire. Only time will tell.
But you already knew that.
But the elusive monkey has not yet shot out of my butt.
Ew.
Keep those monkeys to yourself, Steve.
They shalt not go neareth thy Pants(TM).
Or, indeed, thy Rubber Saddle.
Hey, Iowa is a hotspot for action. They decide our next president! Well, them and Iowa and the Illuminati.
Wait, I meant Florida!
Illuminati?
Are they those new light bulbs?
No Nxxx, it’s a new Chinese car manufacturer.
Are they shiny cars?
I’m from Des Moines. Our MUG hasn’t been active since Intel. And Maren Jansen hasn’t aged well.
Well who does?
Cheddar Reisling?
Scotch?
Not The Scots.
Dear me no.
The most shiny gorram cars you’ve ever seen, iMoo.
I know. We’re going for a ride.
Ace, Is that Cheddar and Reisling separately, together or an amalgam of the two?
Cheddar Reisling is and old friend of mine who just seems to get better with age, although he’s starting to forget things. Like which is the front door and which is the closet door. And which house is his. And which lunch is his.
Did you say something?
I have a friend, Claret Stilton, who has the same problem. Even has the same issue with sudden outbursts of Russian.
Bah!.
You’ll be telling me there is a mixed banana/toffee pie next.
Nope, not in a family-oriented publication such as this.
AHH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
hohohahahahahaha!
haha!
ha.
*sniff*
family-oriented…
That’s funny.
The Adams are a family.
And the Krays.
And the Hiltons.
That pretty much covers most of our posts, surely?
The Manson family kinda put me off families for a long stretch there. Family values, indeed.
Hah – I put ‘The Mansons’ in and then took them out for the Krays at the last moment.
Kind of a sicko Hokey-Cokey.
Glad to provide a check of everyone’s irony detectors.
You’re welcome!
I once found a hoard of Saxon booty with my irony detector.
I, for one, enjoyed pretending that you were serious. Looking forward to the next fake misapprehension about the the nature of CARS…