18 Feb 04Apple On iPod Mini Pricing: "Who's Your Daddy?"


An announcement from Apple that pre-orders of the new iPod mini have topped 100, 00 has been accompanied by trash-talking from Apple executives who bore the brunt of the Macintosh community’s complaints about the device’s pricing.

“‘Oooh, the iPod mini’s priced too high’,” mocked Senior Vice President of Retail Ron Johnson. “‘Oooh, it’s never gonna sell! Oooh, Apple’s doomed! Oooh, I’m a little girly-girl and… and I wear a frilly dress and… I… like… to be… uh… stupid! Yeah! Ha-ha-ha-ha!”

Johnson continued in this manner for several minutes before collecting himself.

“No, but seriously,” Johnson said. “We took a lot of guff over the pricing on this device and to all the people who questioned us ad naseum and said no one would buy it, I’d just like to say… who’s your daddy?! WHO IS YOUR DADDY?!”

After a moment, Johnson asked “Uh… are the kids still saying that?”

Johnson was not the only one expressing pleasure at what he felt was a well-deserved vindication.

Senior Vice President of Worldwide Sales and Operations Timothy Cook said “I am well pleased that all signs point to strong sales of the iPod mini. I think we really did hit the sweet spot between the flash-based devices and the iPod.

“Oh, and everyone who said it was priced too high can just lick my center of gravity.”

Celebrating along with Johnson and Cook was Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller.

Schiller had no comment at press time, but was reportedly seen in the hall doing his patented “Go, Phil!” dance which has to be seen to be appreciated.

Several Apple employees were heard to urge him on, chanting “Go, Phil! Go, Phil! Go, go, go Phil!”

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