This is no good.
See, Chet and Ugluk were fighting over who was going to pick today’s colors and then Howard said he wanted to pick the colors which is really stupid because dogs don’t even see in color and finally after all the yelling and screaming and shoving and slapping and biting and running around I screamed “WILL YOU PLEASE KNOCK IT OFF?! I JUST WANT PEACE IN THIS FAMILY! ST. PATRICK’S DAY WAS JUST YESTERDAY! HAVE YOU ALREADY LOST THE SPIRIT OF THAT HALLOWED HOLIDAY?! DO YOU THINK IRISH FAMILIES FIGHT LIKE THIS?!”
Which, admittedly, I blurted out without really thinking about.
And it probably didn’t do my naive reference to the Irish people any favors that we were still drunk at the time.
And that I was still wearing my green t-shirt that says “Shillelagh rides – $1.”
But anyway, I just told them I was sick of them squabbling like a bunch of high school Heathers over who gets to wear which chiffon dress to the prom and who gets to bang which strapping member of the varsity football team.
“Finish it,” I said. “Fin… ish… iiit.”
And then I stormed off.
Now I log on to find that, as with what always happens when I don’t give them explicite instructions, they figured out the worst possible way to handle the situation. I think they each took a turn picking colors and that got us to…. this.
This whole thing is really starting to get to me. Because while we sit and argue over various shades of chartreuse, the other rumor sites are getting in on all the cool stuff we usually report on.
And possibly this.
I just hope Masako can set this straight when she gets back.
I understand a lot of our readers are getting fired because their bosses are suddenly realizing what it is they’re reading all day. That can’t be good for site traffic.