15 Apr 04Owner of One Apple Share Considering Getting Out.


Mac user Mike Nunez, proud owner of an Apple One Share that was given to him as a Christmas gift in 2002, is considering getting out as Apple’s stock price approached $30 today.

“I’ve been holding on to this baby for a while now,” Nunez said, holding on to the framed Apple stock certificate his sister purchased in his name on OneShare.com. “But you have to time these things right. I don’t want to miss out on an opportunity.

“But at the same time, it might go up even further. Who knows? $35, $40? I don’t want to get out too early, either.”

Preventing Nunez from cashing in his stock immediately was uncertainty over exactly how to do it.

“Do I just break the glass and take the certificate in to Merrill Lynch or something? I don’t know how it’s done.”

Flipping it over, Nunez looked for instructions but found none.

“It’d be nice if it said… maybe even had a little hammer to break the glass…”

Further complicating the transaction is the fact that his one share of Apple represents his entire stock portfolio.

“I was banking on this baby getting me through retirement. But $30…”

Asked what he might do with the money, less commissions, he would receive for the share, Nunez speculated that he might put it into his Ford Escort.

“It could really use some new wipers. Maybe an air freshener. Tank of gas.”

Sources at Apple encouraged Nunez to get out immediately.

“We hate these One Share owners,” said Apple CFO Fred Anderson. “They send us $15 or whatever and we have to send them documentation and ask them to vote on resolutions for eternity. It’s a crappy deal for us. We’d rather not have them. Bunch of wankers, if you ask me.”

Nunez said he will be watching Apple’s stock price closely over the coming days to try to time his move to his advantage.

No Responses to “Owner of One Apple Share Considering Getting Out.”

  1. Damien says:

    Rob Enderle: “Well, that’s it, folks. If Mike Nunez sells his share then Apple’s ***definitely*** going under. Close ’em up, write ’em off. Maybe Sony will buy Apple.”

  2. Shareholder says:

    I’ve got two shares of stock. I’ll sell one now for the quick gain and save the other one for dividend income when I retire.

    Mmm… fixed income.

  3. Reiggin Hilderbrand says:

    What happens, though, when Apple issues another stock split? Does that One Share then suddenly and mysteriously divide like cell meiosis?

  4. Spiro T. Agnew says:

    Yes.

  5. Geez, if Apple would just switch OSX to Intel hardware, we wouldn’t be talking about crisises like this. C’mon…look at how good Gateway is doing with Intel…and they have to sell that crappy Windows XP with it.

    Oh, and I want my fruit cup back, now, Rob.

  6. Aaron says:

    The real issue is, what happens when there’s a *reverse* stock split? Not likely at Apple, of course, but it wouldn’t be surprising if it happened to other companies who might have sold One Share.

    I once had stock options in a company that was purchased. I ended up with half a share in the new company, which they had to buy out from me at market price. I had to declare the $5 as a capital gain.

  7. MICHAEL EISNER says:

    disney stock is fairly cheap in regards to it’s historical highs, etc.

  8. fuddes says:

    My stock is cheap. And by “stock”, I mean “having sex with me”.

  9. Kingy says:

    Don’t do it! IT will pay off!!!

  10. Fringe says:

    I have 14 shares of PepsiCo stock from way way back. When KFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut split off to become YUM, I wound up with one share of that. It’s actually a bit annoying getting the annual reports and stuff. Just send me a coupon for a free pizza or something instead, save the shipping costs.

  11. Laemkral says:

    Eisner, get off your butt and fix Disney. I’ve got 10 shares in you and I want that historical high back. I coulda made 400 dollars at the time of acquisition. NOW it’s only 260. That’s hardly a 40K army!!

    I WANT MY MOOLA!

  12. iamsupermac says:

    Aaron! It’s not too late. You still have 30 minutes before you have to file your 2003 taxes!!! (If you lived in my time zone, that is. Or in my house, but that would be weird because I don’t know you. Wait… Honey? Do you go by the name “Aaron” online? No? Why? Because I… nevermind. Ok, I don’t know you.) That $5 isn’t a capital gain, it’s the selling price. Maybe your basis was also $5 and then your gain is $0!!! Whoo hoo!

    Or are you years late to file? Nevermind.

  13. Aaron says:

    a) this was in 1998 and

    b) my basis price worked out to 27 cents a share, if I recall correctly. I pretty much ignored it.

  14. Bill (shoulda crushedum) Gates says:

    do not forget the cost of the frame, like 30 bucks man

  15. iamsupermac says:

    I hear you Aaron.

    On a serious note to all you taxpayers out there, it’s soooo much easier just to call the basis $0 or the exact amount of the selling price of the fractional share. I go through this crap at least 2-3 times per tax year. Unless you own Berkshire Hathaway Class A (BRKA) it won’t make a lick of difference to the Man.

    Oh yeah, I, uh, want my fruit cup. If I go to an Apple shareholder meeting can I get one?

  16. Bill Eccles says:

    Interestingly, I get _two_ Apple shareholder reports (you know, form 10K and stuff). I get one because I hold some shares of Apple and have the certificate, and I get the other because I have some shares in a brokerage. The total cost of mailing the Apple stuff is $14,000, per the quarterly stuff.

    So I was thinkin’. What would happen if everybody who loves baseball, hot dogs, Apple pie and Chevrolet went out and bought two shares of, say, Microsloth and kept one in street name at a brokerage and one at their house? Could we at least reduce the obscene profits of Microsoft a little tiny bit?

    Hmmmm.

    Just thinkin’ out loud. Ouch. Hurts when I do that.

  17. John Moltz says:

    As long as you’re not “talking out loud.” I hate it when people do that.

    And by that, I mean mistake “talking out loud” for “thinking out loud.”

    “I’m just talking out loud…”

    God, I hate that. How ELSE would one be talking? Gah.

  18. Joe says:

    I have 9 shares of Taser. Just went up 10% today! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

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  20. Aaron says:

    That’s shocking news.

  21. Brother Mugga says:

    From this side of the Pond, may I just congratulate all the CARS staff on a really quite splendid deployment of the term ‘wanker.’

    Nice to see the cultural detante moving on pace.

    I’ll try and slip ‘nerdlinger’ into conversation at some point soon, by way of reciprocity.

    And I may even tell my bird to ‘talk to the hand’ also.

    Cheers

    Brother Mugga

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