If you enjoyed the Mega-Post, then you’ll love…
SON OF MEGA-POST!
Or, I hope so, because we’re off again next week. Back on Tuesday the 8th.
So, again, please enjoy…
SON OF MEGA-POST!
That’s…
SON OF MEGA-POST!
Ask for it by name. Void where prohibited by law. Use only as directed. Consult a physician if swelling occurs. Operators are standing by.
Ha-ha!
Swelling.
I think it’s really sad that people can just turn their back to the original Mega-Post like this. The Mega-Post believed in us. She came in from entity-knows-where and gave us all a place to hang out and relax and be ourselves. She fostered brotherhood and trust. She loved us and we loved it.
Now this so-called Son Of Mega-Post jumps on the scene with fireworks flying and horns blaring — thinking we’ll forget the one who made it all possible. Thinking we’ll dispose of the one who offered her bosom unconditionally for our neglected happiness.
Well I’m here to say it’s not that easy! We are human beings! We laugh, we cry, we care for our friends and family! We won’t forget the Mega-Post, we will honor her struggle, her generosity!
So my brothers and sisters, leave this insidious doppleganger, this phony, this false son! Return to the warm and waiting breast of the original! Return to the Mega-Post, that we may share our happiness with each other in the true fashion… where we belong.
I’ll have no heresy in my courtroom!!! Lucky for you, this isn’t my courtroom. The Mega Post had it’s time. Now, we must move on to the future, looking always forward and upward, to greater and more glorious things! It is our manifest destiny as Apple owners to be the ruling class of society, and one day that destiny will be reached. Until then, we are but a minor force struggling for power against the bourgeois known as Microsoft. The people will be heard, Gates, for a line is being drawn here and now. Not only is the fridge on our side, so is God.
So no heresy or I get the last slice of pumkin pie.
Amen, Brother Laemkral.
The first Mega Post had it’s time; it was but a messenger – a herald if you will – for the Son of Mega Post.
Of course we’re all a bit sad that said herald was beheaded and presented on a plate after The Entity did that little dance, but that’s prophecy for you.
If you can’t beat ’em, decapitate ’em.
Curse you, Jerry.
Brother Mugga
Speaking of Jerries, anyone see the season finale of Enterprise? Nothing so spices up a lackluster show like Enterprise than aliens in Nazi uniforms. They probably could have squeezed an extra year out of Friends if an alien in a Nazi uniform had moved in across the hall.
In honor of Memorial Day, I would just like to say that we owe the Greatest Generation a sincere debt for thrashing aliens in Nazi uniforms within an inch of their lives.
The Mega-Post is dead! Long live the Mega-Post!
Ha-ha!
Jerry.
By the way, is “Jerry” really offensive to Germans? Cause I really don’t know. My apologies to the late Anna Katzner if she’s reading this.
calculatorRightnowweneedagoodonetogowith”rabbi”andmaybewe’lljuststopusingquotesallmanifestations ofasinglecompositebeing,asharedconciousnesasitwere.Oristhereasimplerexplanation…sadthatmostuntrueaswe’ealreadyestablishedMegaPosts a r e g e n d e rneutralReallyitshouldbe”Genetic $$Offspring ofMega**&£*&Post,HenceforthKnownAsPatsaid heraldI’msurprisednoonethoughtitwas–*******–obvious”.¬¬Butt¬¬overthelastseveralyears,SteveN hasgrowntiredofkeepinghisalteregoa %$^£$%secretPAyGE£%$£”,andnowwantsthe(*(9**worldto2know-his-identity””.Especiallytheone1thasoundslikeCujoonabender.ifimacation
hope you dont mind but i adited and abridged some previous posts to create the ultra compacted super post, which contains many observations condensed on certain subjects of talkative.
Ha Ha. Swelling.
Sounds like a Harvey Birdman reference.
The only way the Son of Megapost will be a success is if you yum-bums can keep yourselves from posting fluff to reach some sort of “milestone.”
…We will have a calm and orderly mega post here, no multi-posting one right after the other.
…Let’s all try to keep the Educational tone and quality on this site on the high level John has set. Yes, we can do it, it can be done.
…Our singer RED says some new group called the SYMPATHIZERS will be opening for us. GERALDO RIVERA will be the host, God help us. The club is in that new AREA, 51 and Ivy Street.
…Seems like a come on to me to me; like they *want* us to break in. And, you know, sniff around for anything “of interest” (as long as their batteries arent’ flat; I’m not shelling out for 50 new Duracells just ‘cos Moltz can’t afford a proper girlfriend).
…Anyway, how about you lot Yankee-side sort it out amongst yourselves and then just send me my share of the “loot” for being ‘The Man With The Plan.’
…Or was there no conception and son of mega-post has in fact been adopted because the original mr. and mrs. mega-post (who shall remain nameless) were so high on crack and throwing down way to many 40’s that they weren’t able to raise son of mega-post.
…It’s coming has been prophesied in most cultures throughout the world, each with its own slight variations, but all the stories all seem to point to its coming as the beginning of the end for an evil tyranny that, it is foretold, threatens to enslave the world.
…Anyway, as a management technique, I find it’s good to make everyone spend some quiet time with their heads down on their desks so they can think about what they’ve done and how sorry they should be.
…He/She (I don’t know what it is yet, it bites whenever I try and take a look) is about……………………………….this big, got the cutist little fluffy ears with black tips, little pink nose and wears a little red ribbon round its neck.
…But over the last several years, Steve has grown tired of keeping his alter ego a secret, and now wants the world to know his identity.
…I think it’s really sad that people can just turn their back to the original Mega-Post like this. The Mega-Post believed in us. She came in from entity-knows-where and gave us all a place to hang out and relax and be ourselves.
Here is the condensed version of Son-of-Megapost.
“…Now this so-called Son Of Mega-Post jumps on the scene with fireworks flying and horns blaring — thinking we’ll forget the one who made it all possible.
…Return to the Mega-Post, that we may share our happiness with each other in the true fashion…
…The first Mega Post had it’s time; it was but a messenger – a herald if you will – for the Son of Mega Post.”
Done by OS X itself, dontchano
First post for May 31, 2004!
Boy, aren’t I an early riser.
2nd post !!!!
Of the day!!
We all have to have something to get excited about. Don’t we? Please?
I refuse to post on the Sonuvamegapost.
Wait a minute. I just did.
I take it all back.
Jesus Tap Dancing Christ! Moltz is a Trekkie!
Well, that explains a lot.
Evidently, he’d have been more interested if I’ve written about Klingon lebsbian midgets covered in gagh.
Now that is sick.
*Sigh* Well, at least we got the fridge.
Sorry, Philo, but I’d just like to correct that to ‘Jesus Tap Dancing Christ *Tenon Saw*.’
Hmmm.
Nope, still don’t seem to have perfected it.
And it is certainly true that Nazi’s make the sci-fi world go round. That and the obligatory ‘cave-men’ episode. Oooh ooh – and the ‘body swap’. Every body loves the body swap.
Hmmm – I get the feeling I blew a possible pun there.
(In fact, if you had cave-men body-swapping into an SS panzer battalion, you’d pretty much be sorted for about two seasons.)
Brother Mugga
PS: Moltz – I’ve traced the source of your e-mail back to a co-ed dormitory in Oklahoma. You’re not fooling anyone.
PPS: I sincerely hope that ‘Jerry’ is insulting to Germans. If not – why use it? Any nation that invented the term ‘Tommy Cooker’ to describe the readily ‘brewed up’ Sherman tank is all right by me. On this theme, we organised a ‘Germans v The Rest of the World’ cricket match back when I was at college. Tremendous. The Krauts *loved* it, clinching an improbable run out (and hence victory) in the very last over. They then proceeded to march around the square humming ‘Deutschland Uber Alles’ loudly and proclaiming themselves to have ‘annexed the pavilion.’
It would appear that rumours of an absent sense of humour are greatly exaggerated.
Ha-ha!
Phil Ken Sebben.
There is no show so poor that it can’t be spruced up by goose-stepping aliens.
Or lesbians.
Ha-ha!
Yanks.
Moltz, do you even realize how many rules you’re breaking by posting in the forums and not on the stupid site?
You’re banned for 2 weeks. you hear me? BANNED! YOU NEVER POST IN THIS TOWN AGAIN!
Ha-ha!
Dangly parts.
So when will “The Holy Ghost of the MegaPost” arrive?
Hmmm.
That would be somewhere around forty days after we’ve crucified the Son of Mega-Post, by my reckoning.
To be honest – looking back up at our efforts to date – I think our work here is already done…
Brother Mugga
Methinks we’ve not been dealing with the real “John Moltz” for some time.
Methinks it’s an imposter who forgot to put “John Moltz” in his ID field.
Methinks John should put a verification on the “Name” field that catches anyone but him posting as John Moltz as an error.
Methinks I’m going to get made fun of for this style of speech.
Na, this will be no good, most sequels suck bad…
My thinks entirely, halexists.
Will the Real ‘John Moltz’ please stand up?
Brother Mugga
Hey, John, how’s that “database project” coming?! 🙂
Now retreating to the warm comfort of the MegaPost….
Bill
I’m Moltzacus!
I’M MOLTZACUS!
No, I’m …
Wait a minute. Crucifixion you say?!?
HE’S Moltzacus!
HE’S Moltzacus.
And so’s his wife.
Clearly, this is going badly.
But at least all the cheese stuff is gone. It makes me so phlegmmy.
Hopefully Masako is not forced to read about these Nazi lesbian midgets. Unless she is one.
What’s a ‘post?’
Love,
Vreemulator
All you Imposters for which are posting here i am the REAL Jon Multz if you are wanting me posting on the page instead of just in the postings you will helping me transfer $38,000,000 dollars to a ameican account. You see I am employee of the Federal Government of Nigeria. i have funds that be needing transfer to a foreign account. if you are willing to be helping me i will give you 30% of TOTAL SUM. please be contacting me so we can start further negotiations.
I’m the real John Moltz and I endorsed this message.
In truth, I feel I must now confess that which has been known to me for over twelve months, but remained unspoken through nothing but the base motive of fear and self-preservation.
VIZ
That the real John Moltz has been suppressed these last ten years by the Svengali-like presence of a Mr. P. Schiller, who took up residence in his skull after finding a ‘backdoor’ in his disclaimer contract with Apple.
In deference to his family, it should perhaps be now revealed that Moltz’s true character was formed by his strict Amish upbringing, and he would no more engage in sordid discussions concerning lesbians, co-eds, Fembots and the like than Our Lord Steve would give Bill-ze-Bub a back-rub.
And here I give my sacred vow.
Brother Mugga
wangsaw
“Wangsaw.” Good one!
“Screwdriver.”
No, wait, that’s just like “screwdriver.” Guess that one’s not so funny.
“Nutdriver.”
Hmm. Same problem.
“Biscuitjoiner.”
Damn. 3/3. And I guess “biscuit” isn’t so risqué, anyway.
I give up.
dicksaw.
(Sounds good, but OW! OOH! YEEOWTCH!)
Anyway, is there still that Mini Cooper thing going, or not? Otherwise I’m Audi.
God damn, would someone take down the “no girls allowed” sign on this clubhouse?
Seriously, where da hos at?
Laemkral, you can’t name the gender neutral Mega Post ‘Pat’ as 64% of the population with the name ‘Pat’ is male. THAT name isn’t gender neutral as much as SNL would like us to believe. Media…twisting our thoughts…aaaaauuuughhhh!
Strega herself suggested ‘Cockhammer.’
And also something a little ruder, that I’m not at liberty to reveal on a family, Amish-oriented website.
Brother Mugga
1 st half
england 1 japan 0
owen 22 min
england 1 japan 1
2nd half
Goalflashes and major incidents: (All times BST)
52 mins: Steven Gerrard plays Frank Lampard down the left channel and the Chelsea man swings a left-foot shot over the Japan crossbar.
The referee blows for half-time at the City of Manchester Stadium. Sven-Goran Eriksson decides not to make any substitutions for the second period.
44 mins: Paul Scholes is perhaps fortunate not to give away a penalty after appearing to bring down Alessandro Santos in the box.
41 mins: Ashley Cole gets in a well-timed block to prevent Keiji Tamada getting in a shot on goal.
37 mins: Paul Scholes hits a weak shot wide from 25 yards – it has been another disappointing display in an England shirt from the midfielder so far.
33 mins: Tsuneyasu Miyamoto heads wide four yards out from a corner with England’s marking non-existent.
30 mins: Shumsuke Nakamura slams in a shot from 25 yards that David James does well to push away.
25 mins: Tamada tests David James with a left-foot flier from 30 yards that the Manchester City stopper can only gather at the second attempt.
22 mins: GOAL England 1-0 Japan
Michael Owen slots home from close range after Seigo Narazaki fails to hold Steven Gerrard’s 25-yard drive.
21 mins: Paul Scholes and Wayne Rooney run at the Japan defence and the ball falls to Frank Lampard, who fires a left foot shot high and wide.
16 mins: David Beckham’s free-kick is half-cleared and Lampard fires the ball goalwards, only for Yuji Nakazawa to deflect it over the bar.
12 mins: England are stringing together a series of passes but have yet to find the killer ball to open up the Japanese defence. The visitors have had little possession but looked well-organised.
5 mins: John Terry heads Beckham’s corner goalwards only for the ball to be cleared off the line by Santos.
5 mins: England put together a fine move with Steven Gerrard and Beckham linking up nicely, the skipper’s cross headed back across goal by Michael Owen only for Tsuboi to head the ball over the bar.
2000: Japan kick off the game at the City of Manchester Stadium.
1953: Captain David Beckham leads out the England team to a rapturous ovation. Legend Tom Finney is the guest of honour introduced to the two sides.
1930: England and Japan fans flood into the magnificent City of Manchester Stadium with kick off approaching. It is a party atmosphere as Sven-Goran Eriksson’s men prepare to begin their Euro 2004 build-up in earnest.
Team news:
England coach Sven-Goran Eriksson has chosen Chelsea midfielder Frank Lampard ahead of Manchester United’s Nicky Butt in the team to face Japan.
Eriksson had earlier confirmed the starting XI would make up the side to play France in England’s Euro 2004 opener in Lisbon on Sunday 13 June.
Lampard has been in magnificent form in the Premiership and Champions League this season while Butt has struggled to force his way into the United side on a regular basis.
Everton teenager Wayne Rooney is Eriksson’s choice to partner Michael Owen in attack for the friendly game at the City of Manchester Stadium.
England: James, G Neville, A Cole, Terry, Campbell, Lampard, Beckham, Gerrard, Scholes, Owen, Rooney.
And still no one cares about your silly game on this side of the Atlantic.
Oddly enough, when I was *over there* I watched it quite a bit. Weird.
Die, MegaPost, Die!
Goalflashes and major incidents: (All times BST)
52 mins: Steven Gerrard gropes Frank Lampard down the left channel and the Chelsea man swings a left-foot shot seemingly over the Japan crossbar, but Mothra grabs it and eats it at the last second, causing a delay of game penality.
The referee blows the City of Manchester at halftime, including all lesbian midgets. Sven-Goran Eriksson decides not to make any substitutions for the second period, as he enjoyed his greatly.
44 mins: Paul Scholes is perhaps fortunate not to give away a penalty after using a nailgun on Alessandro Santos in the box, which hurt a great deal.
41 mins: Ashley Cole gets in a well-timed block to prevent Keiji Tamada getting in a shot on goal, but the Japanese midfielder slammed hard into the goal, bursting into flames, killing 38 fans behind the goal.
37 mins: Paul Scholes hits a weak shot wide from 25 yards – but is able to tap in from eight feet out to save par, unfortunately he trails Tiger Woods by 14 strokes, and was given a red card for playing golf during a football match.
33 mins: Tsuneyasu Miyamoto’s head is kicked in from wide four yards out from a corner with England’s marking non-existent, small arms fire kills only a handful of spectators
30 mins: Shumsuke Nakamura slams in a shot intothe carrier USS Lexington, but fails to win the battle of Midway.
25 mins: Tamada tests David James with a a Wonderlic test, but the Manchester City stopper can only score a four and is declared brain dead on the field.
22 mins: GOAL England 1-0 Japan
Michael Owen decapitates Seigo Narazaki and as his head rolls into the goal, his shocked teammates fail to hold Steven Gerrard’s 25-yard drive in a LandRover.
21 mins: Paul Scholes and Wayne Rooney run at the Japan defence with guns but the ball falls to Frank Lampard, who fires at a forward’s left foot, but it is high and wide.
16 mins: David Beckham’s media overexposure causes him to suddenly burst into song at midfield. Lampard fires the ball at him to get him to shut up, only for Yuji Nakazawa to start singing backing harmony. A melee ensues.
12 mins: England are stringing together a series of bad cliches, but fail to completely jade the Japanese defence. The visitors have had little grammar but looked well-organised.
5 mins: John Terry shoves his head up Beckham’s arse goalwards, praying for silence, only for the ball to be cleared off the line by Santos.
5 mins: England put together a fine move with Steven Gerrard and Beckham dancing up nicely, finally dropping trou and showing the whole monty to Michael Owen only for Tsuboi to run off the field screaming.
2000: Japan bombs City of Manchester Stadium.
1953: The RAF responds by attacking California.
1930: England and Japan agree to jointly destroy Canada instead, and promise “a little tongue” following date night.
Team news:
England coach Sven-Goran Eriksson has chosen Chelsea Clinton’s but over Japan’s face.
Vodaphone has been has been named as the official g-string sponsors for Team Englands crossdressers.
Face it, NFL Europe rocks. Go Ryan Van Dyke.
2150 BST: The full-time whistle goes and England have drawn 1-1 with Japan. Sven-Goran Eriksson will be concerned with the display as well as a host of players hobbling off towards the end.
88 mins: Sol Campbell heads wide from a corner. John Terry is feeling his hamstring and walks off with Ledley King coming on in his place.
85 mins: Gary Neville takes a heavy knock and limps off, replaced by his brother Phillip.
82 mins: Owen Hargreaves, Nicky Butt and Joe Cole come on for Frank Lampard, David Beckham and Steven Gerrard.
81 mins: Alessandro Santos hits a screamer that David James blocks as the ball bounces horribly in front of him.
80 mins: Shinji Ono dummies past Gary Neville and bends in a right-foot shot that just fails to curl on target.
77 mins: Emile Heskey, Darius Vassell and Kieron Dyer replace Michael Owen, Wayne Rooney and Paul Scholes.
75 mins: Shumsuke Nakamura lashes in a thunderous left-foot shot that flicks off the head of John Terry and away from danger.
72 mins: David Beckham goes down clutching his ankle after a seemingly innocuous challenge and spends two minutes receiving treatment from Gary Lewin before continuing.
69 mins: Wayne Rooney appeals for a penalty as he tumbles in the box trying to latch onto Sol Campbell’s knock down from Beckham’s corner, but the referee has none of it.
59 mins: Beckham sees a 25 yard free-kick parried away comfortably by Seigo Narazaki.
56 mins: Michael Owen twists and turns inside the Japan area after being played in beautifully by Wayne Rooney, but the Liverpool striker’s toe-poked shot is blocked by Narazaki.
53 mins: GOAL England 1-1 Japan
Shinji Ono levels the scores for Japan and it is a fabulous team goal, ending with the Feyenoord midfielder slotting the ball between David James’ legs.
who cares if fat wanker yanks don’t like the worlds most popular sport.
What is the earliest CARS that you remember reading live, the day it was posted.
And have you visted everday since… while wearing your CARS t-shirt?
to start things off…
The first one I remember reading live was the one about 4th graders being bored by Woz talking to them about the old days.
Who can beat that?
This is not the Mega-Post. This is cheap imitation. Son of … Like all sequels (except Star Trek) the sequel can’t hold a candle to the original.
Long boring posts on SOCCER!!!!
Die Son of Mega-Post!!
Long Live the true original Mega-Post!!!
Steady on.
You haven’t had the cricket yet.
Mmmm; cricket.
I’m sure everyone’s looking forward to my ball-by-ball account of some nondescript Kiwi opener grinding out another two decade ton.
Brother Mugga
PS: So what are the odds for a 4-1 spanking by France in the Euro 2004 opener after that somewhat shambolic performance?
PPS: And just to give this a semblance of CARS authenticity – NAKED NYMPHO MIDGET CO-EDS IN CRUNCHY PEANUT BUTTER SMEAR CAMPAIGN! MOLTZ CAUGHT IMPERSONATING BAP!
There now; don’t we all feel better now?
Brother Mugga
OK folks, since the 10.3.4 update Happy Chocolate Fun Time “screenshot” looked like 256 color crap, I made my own using the same text – check it out at:
idisk.mac.com/byronperpetua/Public/1034updt.png
Or just click my name.