01 Jul 04Mac Web Now Divided Into Pro-Apple, Pro-Konfabulator Camps.


In a rift even greater than that created by the Apple/Watson controversy, the entire Mac web has been divided almost overnight into those who are pro-Apple, known henceforth as Apple Partisans, and those who support Konfabulator, now known as Konfabulistas.

While he has denied willingness to serve such a role, many of the Apple Partisans are looking to Daring Fireball’s John Gruber to lead them.

Indeed, several lesser known Apple web sites have even contacted Gruber requesting to become one of Gruber’s “bitches” in return for protection from the Konfabulistas.

Macs-Ahoy editor Randall Corby said “I’ve seen a few episodes of Oz. I don’t want to find myself in the back of an Apple Store near the Firewire drives surrounded by Konfabulistas and suddenly trying to remember where my ‘happy place’ is.

“Gruber doesn’t have a picture of himself up on his web site but… uh… he seems nice. Is he? Well, whatever. I’ll take my chances with him.”

Meanwhile, the few members of the Mac web who remain unaffiliated in this bitter showdown sighed heavily at the thought of what the coming days will bring.

“Oh, yay!” said a Mac web editor who spoke only on the condition of anonymity. “Because it’s controversies like this that really bring out the best in the Macintosh community! Gaaaah…

“By the way, could you let Aaron Jarvis of Carefree, Ariz. know that he won the pool? He had ‘less than 24 hours’ in the ‘How long will it be before someone calls Apple evil‘ pool.”

So far the battle over whether or not Apple stole the concept of widgets that perform small tasks from Konfabulator has been waged in the spoken and written word. But at the UTC Apple Store this morning, smoldering looks were exchanged as Apple Partisans bumped into Konfabulistas.

“I didn’t know what the hell was going on,” said store manager Sylvia Cuevas. “These two groups were just standing in the iBook section, smoldering at each other. It was a smolder fest. A smolderama. A smolder-off. You could literally see the smoke, they were smoldering so bad.

“Finally, I just threw them out. I said, if you’re not going to buy anything then go smolder over at the Fashion Valley store. There was some whining and complaints about their First Amendment rights to smolder, but they left without incident.”

Crazy Apple Rumors Site was unable to confirm rumors that Arlo Rose was willing to make the whole controversy “go away” in exchange for a 30-inch Cinema Display and a pack of gum.

No Responses to “Mac Web Now Divided Into Pro-Apple, Pro-Konfabulator Camps.”

  1. bill gates says:

    first

  2. bill gates says:

    second

  3. bill gates says:

    third

  4. bill gates says:

    fourth

  5. bill gates says:

    fifth

  6. johnny johnson says:

    I’ll go away for a 30-inch Cinema Display and a pack of gum… any offers?

  7. John Moltz says:

    Mmm…

    How ’bout just the gum?

  8. I’ll go away for more of those Crazy Apple Rumours™…

  9. This is a war, and Gruber is my general. That thing about the Finder was just an elaborate initiation ritual.

  10. Adam Jackson says:

    agreed, but then you can’t go away thus the need for the rumors, nevvemrind, my head hurts,

    Adam jackson

    mypersonalgetaway.com

  11. powermac99 says:

    Hey, I claim that GarageBand was my idea first, it’s as close as using the same wood trim as my application did! I called it GarageMusicalGroup(99) but they just had to steal it. Can I get a 30″ display and a pack of gum too?

  12. powermac99 says:

    Oh yeah, find more information about GarageMusicalGroup(99) at http://www.icompositions.com

  13. gc says:

    Can’t help thinking of West Side Story with that Apple Store smolderama…

    “When you’re a Konf’ you’re a Konf’ all the way, from your first cigarette ’till you’re last dying day…”

  14. detective conan says:

    fourteenth

  15. detective conan says:

    15-20

  16. detective conan says:
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  18. detective conan says:
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  20. detective conan says:
  21. Brother Mugga says:

    Ahhh . . . we all know how this one ends; with Jobs and Rose in a hilario-tragic forbidden-love induced poison misunderstanding.

    After all, as the name of its creator clearly testifies, “A konfabulator by any other name is still a konfabulator.”

    Brother Mugga

    PS: Is Arlo related to Axel at all? I think we should be told.

    PPS: Everything all right there, Defective Conan?

  22. Dwartz Farquhartz says:

    Arlo is actually Pete’s love child from his relationship with Bette Midler.

  23. soosy says:

    I’ll always be Pro-Schiller. Did you see Avie and Rubinstein gazing admirably during Schiller’s demo? They are clearly Pro-Schiller as well.

    And Schiller’s iChat Goodbye™ face! Where does he get this stuff?! Nobody does it better…

  24. Garnack says:

    Hey!! Bette Midler may be a tramp, but she’s got more taste than to mess with Pete.

  25. Woobly Fuzz says:

    Is “Macs Ahoy” just a running joke that I don’t get???

  26. Anonymous says:

    “Macs-Ahoy editor Randall Corby”…????

    Here’s the top google result for Randall Corby (Except CARS’s…!)

    http://home.westserv.net.au/~ricorby/index.html

  27. Is anyone else thinking ‘Look and Feel Lawsuit’?

  28. greenacres says:

    Infinity and beyond post! Ok, ok, so my daughter watches Toy Story alot…hmmm, it is a Pixar movie after all…

  29. greenacres says:

    Oh, and Gruber is the Messiah! Long live Gruber! That Konfabulator is a cross-platform-dressing app with fake Java-scripts!

  30. kev says:

    nice san diego references.

  31. pip says:

    yes! nice san diego shout-out there! but, the UTC store is so small…any kind of smolderama would probably heat the building up and blow the top off. Like what happened at Chernobyl. Lots more space to smolder at Fashion Valley. But i’m still waiting for the Poway Apple Store. Hicks need computers too.

  32. Jerry says:

    There’s an apple store at UTC now??!! I’ve been on the road too long.

  33. patrick says:

    When you say “. . . this bitter show down . . .” I think you mean “. . . this bitter showdown . . .”.

  34. patrick says:

    Pro Apple? Pro Konfabulator? A pox on both your houses!

    Props to “hilario-tragic forbidden-love induced poison misunderstanding”.

  35. Matthew Thale says:

    Poway should get an Apple Store? No way! If hicks need computers too, then obviously Imperial, CA should get one first. I tell you, we residents of Imperial Valley can smoulder with the best of them. It is a skill that we develop after living through the summers out here.

  36. patrick says:

    By the way, could you let Aaron Jarvis know that he lives in a town named after an hilario-tragic sugar free gum?

  37. Steve says:

    What kind of gum, Arlo? And let me be clear right up front, you should know that a Plen-T-Pak would be a deal breaker.

  38. bear says:

    If Poway gets an Apple Store, does that mean you’ll need a computer rack in your pick-em-up right next to the rifle rack????

  39. MacStansbury says:

    Bout time that Macs Ahoy got a plug. They do hard work over there. CARS used to write about them all the time, but I can’t seem to find much about them these days. Back in the day, there was all kind of coverage for other rumours sites, but now they don’t even plug PerversionTracker.com anymore.

    By the way, the first known link to Mac-Ahoy is found here:

    http://www.crazyapplerumors.com/2002_03_10_archive.htm#75012639

    And amazingly, somebody is playing with Mac-A-Licious.com, and spent about 30-40 seconds on it. Tristan Fisk must be rolling in his (or her) grave.

    Ah, the trip down memory lane. Like the Wednesday CAHD. I miss that. And the sexual innuendo. Now the sex is all over the place-you can’t get around it.

    I kind of like my innuendo like I like my mini-skirts, long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to keep it interesting. Sort of like how I like my women like I like my coffee: dark bitter and cold to the touch.

  40. bear says:

    huh????

  41. Jon says:

    MacStansbury —

    I like _my_ women like I like _my_ coffee: light, sweet, and hot.

    (So there!)

    ;->

  42. John Moltz says:

    I like women.

    Oh, OK, I like ’em like I like my beer: brown and bubbly.

    I understand Chet likes ’em like he likes his barbecue: hot and porky.

  43. Brother Mugga says:

    I like my women like I like my Mother.

    Oh.

    Ooooopsy.

    Er, has my internal monologue broken down again?

    Mother? Mother! Oh god no, Mother!

    Sorry about that. She’s just spilled some Horlicks on the iBook again. Tsk.

    Brother Mugga

    PS: Anyone want a sandwich? And a stuffed old bird?

    PPS: Cheers, Patrick. Poxgrouters. Of Doom.

  44. Skip Card says:

    So, it’s like 10 p.m. East Coast time, and John still hasn’t posted the Friday “Help Desk” installment.

    C’mon, dude. It’s not as if you have to do actual RESEARCH for this report.

  45. Great says:

    Great, I now have scenes and songs from West Side Story stuck in my head. And Steve Jobs saying “Daddy-O”

    Damn you.

  46. Huck says:

    Now THAT’S some fucking SPAM!