28 Jul 04IBM Finds Case Of Beer. G5 Further Constrained.


Disappointed Mac users learned today that availability of G5 chips has been further constrained after IBM found a case of beer.

“It was out back on the loading dock,” an already inebriated IBM slurred. “Didn’t have nobody’s name on it…”

This development is expected to delay both September’s introduction of the G5 iMac as well as any chances of seeing 3 GHz Power Macs any time soon.

Asked when the company might have a chance to get back to making more processors, the company said “Shut up! Man, why you always got to be such a downer? Can’t you see I’m partyin’?

“What happened to you, man? What… what… what…

“Uh… what… what time is it?” IBM asked through half-closed eyelids.

According to sources in Fishkill, New York, the site of IBM’s G5 processor plant, the company discovered a case of Genesee Cream Ale on the loading dock around 11 PM this morning and was about two-thirds of the way through it by the end of lunch.

“You know… you know…” IBM said, waving a green can in the air. “I’ve got half a mind to tell that Steve Jobs to go stick it! Who does he think he is, anyway?!”

IBM said nothing for a few moments and idly sipped out of the can.

“You know who’s a great guy?” the company suddenly asked. “Steve Jobs! He’s a good friend of mine, you know that?”

Sources were uncertain how long the company would stay all liquored up.

No Responses to “IBM Finds Case Of Beer. G5 Further Constrained.”

  1. Kallaloo says:

    Trinidad and Tobago: The place to be? Who cares?

    It’s the place to be FROM.

  2. Anonymous says:

    First post from somebody not delirious from chemicals.

  3. Third on a Match says:

    Third post! Where’d I set my *hic* beer?

  4. Albert says:

    11pm? In the morning? Now either I’m tired, or somebody’s drunk

  5. markeddy says:

    ’emember how we used to hate IBM? I mean, was there a more *priggish* company in the world? Now it’s like Animal Farm and IBM is like snowball, the pig . . .

    What kind of a name is snowball to name a pig?

  6. Anonymous says:

    sixth sixth sixth

  7. Ozi says:

    😆 seventh heaven.

    God help us if IBM heads over to Germany in October… 😀

    ~ozi

  8. virgin says:

    Eighth is… greath.

    Yeah, that’s it.

    (hey, first time posting)

  9. MacStansbury says:

    aw come on, let me get the eleventh post

    please, please…

  10. no one says:

    There is no eleventh post today

  11. shadowfax says:

    recursive n. See: recursive

  12. Huck says:

    Eleventh post was absent today, but I think I saw her out smoking with the junior high kids. I think she should get detention.

    Also, she should have to sit next to me in detention.

  13. Small Paul says:

    Anyone remember OS2/Warp?

    Anyone ever heard of OS2/Warp?

    Anyone ever (whisper it) use OS2/Warp?

  14. UhhhDude says:

    Mmmm…beer-battered processors…

  15. Del says:

    It’s a plot by M$ and Dell. I just know it. Their plans are to keep IBM liquored up so long that Apple dies. I think we need to have an IBM intervention.

    We never got around to the intervention with Motorola and look where that got us.

  16. Cai says:

    Gang way, comin’ through, forsooth!

    *runs into the post with a strangely charred G5 Box*

    *dumps box on the floor in the middle of the post*

    Enjoy ya’ll…we’re not using this in the Megapost Megaparty! (everyones invited!)

    Wooo-woooo!

    choooo-choooo!

    Meeeeeeeeep!

    *runs off back to the Megapost*

  17. MacStansbury says:

    I don’t usually kiss and tell, but while I was in college, I was pretty wild, and this one time I caught Motorola all drunk and stuff upstairs in our house, and we started with the heavy petting. The problem was that after that real fast start, there was this long long long long drawn out time till we got going any where, and then there was the crying and whining and holding of hair. Yuck.

    So, anyways, if you ever see a computer chip company giving you the Georgia Mating Call (y’all, I am so drunk) at your frat’s rush party, be smart and don’t take it upstairs thinking you’re gonna get lucky, cause they are such drama queens, or you might get one of them AMD sluts that’ll get in bed with anybody.

    Oh, and definitely don’t write about it in the comments section of a Macintosh rumors site.

    oh……..crap……………

  18. The box with big warning sign (and finger-sized hole in side) now charred and slightly smoking says:

    *Box sits in the post with a big warning sign and a finger sized hole in the side*

  19. baddaboom says:

    … hair holding?

  20. Aaron says:

    OS2 Warp wouldn’t install on my PC.

  21. I remember drinking Genny Screamers. God, nothing like growing up in upstate NY. In MA they have green death (Haffenreffer) but there is nothing like a cold Genny to make your neighbors avoid you for hours. They ain’t called screamers for nothing.

  22. Huck says:

    OS2/Warp OS2/Warp dada dada dada da…

    O… S… 2… Warp OS2/Warp, that’s my name too…

    whenever we go out, the people always shout…

  23. > … hair holding?

    So the puke and the hair do not mix. Man, how old are you? Jr. High?

  24. pran says:

    they are all good people.

    you are good people too.

    i like good people

    we need good peoples like you.

  25. Homebrew says:

    Genesee Cream Ale. That is a beer I would rather not remember.

  26. Huck says:

    Clearly, you didn’t have enough of it.

  27. pran says:

    genny filled the void created by the demise of f & s

  28. pat says:

    >the company discovered a case of Genesee Cream Ale on

    >the loading dock around 11 PM this morning and was

    >about two-thirds of the way through it by the end of

    >lunch.

    Genesee Cream Ale from Rochester New York. Like me!

    Woo Hoo, I’d be proud if it didn’t suck!

    Oh yeah. I want my 11PM to be in the morning too.