09 Aug 04Arlo Rose Working On Doomsday Widget.


Concerned sources close to Konfabulator creator Arlo Rose indicate that the Mac developer is working on a Doomsday widget that will utterly destroy the Macintosh desktop.

In a fit of pique over the announcement that Apple will include functionality similar to Konfabulator in the upcoming update to OS X code-named Tiger, Rose is adopting a scorched-earth strategy.

“If I can’t have the Mac desktop, then no one can!” Rose said, with a wild look in his eye.

(The left one, if you must know.)

(The right one, interestingly, not so much.)

Konfabulator’s co-creator, Perry Clarke issued a shriek.

“You’re mad! Maaaaaaad, I say!”

“Well, yeah, I’m mad!” Rose replied. “They stole our idea!”

“No, I mean mad as in insane.”

“Ohhhh. Yeah. I’m also that.”

Rose’s Doomsday widget will reportedly completely annihilate the Macintosh desktop wherever it is found. The only piece of the puzzle he needs to put his frightening gambit into motion is the Trojan widget that will play host to his Doomsday widget.

“It needs to be something that every Mac user will want…” Rose mused. “Something they absolutely have to download. Hmm. What… should… it… be…

“Countdown to Tiger’s release? Streaming the traffic cameras on de Anza Boulevard?

“Hmm. Schiller Cam. Aaaaaahhh…”

Sources within One Infinite Loop assure Mac users there is little to fear from Rose’s Doomsday widget. According to members of Apple’s Tactical Response Unit, the company’s top agent is already on his way to Rose’s secret lair within El Capitan, backed up by a team of lesbian ninjas.

“Standard response, really,” the source said. “Lesbian ninjas. They’re very good.”

No Responses to “Arlo Rose Working On Doomsday Widget.”

  1. Huck says:

    Someone’s been reading the Mega-Post I see…

    Needless to say, those lesbian ninjas are packin’ cheeze whiz, and Arlo had better watch out (or by some extra bed sheets).

  2. Mysterious Frenchman says:

    Zis post, she is ze second!

    Ooh la la!

  3. Huck says:

    er… buy, that is.

  4. Huck says:

    Heh. Yeah, maybe if I hadn’t been hoarding them…

  5. John Moltz says:

    Huck, I’d been doing lesbian ninjas long before the Mega-Post was even a glint in your eye.

  6. Chris says:

    Schiller cam!!! I have to have it!

    What? Wait…

    Oh… Crap.

  7. 2000guitars says:

    but the power of association baybeeeeeee…..

  8. Cai says:

    maybe lesbian ninjas….

    but lesbian ninja sexbots are all our Moltzo!

    heh heh heh!

  9. Small Paul says:

    It’s all about the Mega-Post, isn’t it?

    I remember when this site was all about the rumours. Oh yes. Rumours rumours rumours.

    (I don’t really. Soon after I found this the Mega-Post started. I never even got to know the rumours that well.)

    Crazy Apple Mega-Post!

    Right, what am I meant to say now? Oh yes: “eleventh post”.

    Whatever.

  10. Bill Eccles says:

    Huh huh huh… huh…. He said “doing!”

    Huh huh.

    Heh heh. (Some variety is required in my puerile humor.)

    Hmmm. He said “doing lesbian ninjas.”

    Are they bisexual ninjas, then? Or is that “doing” in the non-Bevis/Butthead sense?

    This hurts my brain.

    Either that, or it is that extra glass of wine that does. Hard to tell.

  11. Ozi says:

    mmmmm lesbian ninjas. 🙂 Now I dont care if you guys post less for a while: as long as when you next post, it is with colour, 1280×854 pictures of afore-said ninlas, so that I can have them as my wallpaper on my 15″ pBook.

  12. Jawyn says:

    Dr. Evil Rose…..mua muahhahahahahahahahahahah

  13. MacStansbury says:

    I don’t get it. Who is this Dr. Evil Rose? I was under the impression that Rose’s first name was Arlo?

    I’ve only seen that evil super-villains use the monikers, such as Dr. Evil, as to impose some sort of intimidation to those the villain wishes to subjugate.

    But I think Arlo Rose is as funny a name as you could get for a power-mad scientist heck-bent on destroying Mac users’ desktop. But I can’t keep thinking about that comic strip called Rose is a Rose or something.

  14. bear says:

    I thought it was Arlo Guthrie…..

  15. UhhhDude says:

    I heard Arlo (Rose, not Guthrie) snapped when the guys at Casady and Greene offered him a job. Let’s just say that it was a prank that went really really wrong.

    Also, how does one hire lesbian ninjas? Is there a temp agency or something you’d use for that?

  16. In the history of CARS, has there ever been a lesbian ninja who has gotten the 11th post?

    Inquiring minds want to know!

  17. Huck says:

    I’ll second that inquiry!

  18. bear says:

    so………does Arlo (Guthrie, not Rose) work for Casady and Greene? Or is that just a pseudonym for Alice’s Restaurant? And do they serve Clausen’s Pickle Relish?

  19. Jasn (Yasn) says:

    “And now for somthing not quite but but enough to be notably… Different”

    I just got through packing up my 800mhz iBook (Dual cheddar slots with triple club option) to send back to finx the logic board for the 2nd time…. and do you knwo what the absolutely best part of sending a computer back to apple?…… Its that tape they send… that stuff makes my day. and they always send more than needed so i can use it for all my other various taping needs…

    Anyways just thought i’d post somthing that didn’t even mention Lesbian Ninjas so as to…… damn!…. nevermind.

  20. UhhhDude says:

    You can get anything you want at Casady and Greene…

    …except for SoundJam. You may know it in its latest incarnation, iTunes.

  21. bear says:

    How about Alice????

  22. ChrisP says:

    ppffft. I though Arlo Rose was a baddie from Super Mario Brothers…

  23. mr. conspiracy says:

    You can’t get ANYTHING from Casady & Greene. They are gone. Finito. Finished. A fart in the wind.

  24. Huck says:

    I was wondering what that smell was…

    *wanders over to Mega-Post instead*

  25. Ambrose Chapel says:

    i hope this story was accompanied by that evil-sounding music from the star trek doomsday machine episode.

  26. JJJS says:

    Could someone post the URL to the Mega-Post? Nothing more to see here.

  27. Anonymous says:

    Goggle Gropups might be usefull for it.
    http://groups.google.com/
    …….
    Vernon Siqueiros
    (rinozast)