02 Sep 04Application Upgrade Allows User To Achieve Nirvana


BBEdit user Matthew Sadowski achieved total nirvana earlier today after downloading, installing and using Bare Bones Software’s latest upgrade to the popular text editing application.

Somewhere between using the documents drawer and the built-in HTML Tidy Tool, a bright, white light bathed over Sadowski and his consciousness became one with the universe.

“Ommm… ommmm… ommmm…” Sadowski intoned, floating cross-legged six inches above the floor.

“I have achieved oneness… a state of pure being…

“I click… I type… and… I am. The text flows through me and I… know… it. I am the text.”

According to Sadowski’s friends, his recent ascension to a higher plane has been really annoying.

“This is bullshit,” said Keith Marsh, a college buddy of Sadowski’s. “Matt used to be a great guy. He used to like to play video games and drink beer and cruise for chicks.

“OK, we never cruised for chicks, but he used to be fun to be around! Now it’s all… ooh, guess what the unlimited nature of existential being is? Hell if I know.

“I thought it’d be cool to have friend who was all glowy and stuff but… it’s not.”

While Sadowski’s friends are rather unimpressed with the web designer’s attainment of perfection as delivered by upgrading from BBEdit 7.0 to 8.0, other Mac aficionados expressed similar appreciation for the upgrade.

“Well, I didn’t achieve nirvana,” said Daring Fireball’s John Gruber. “But… uh…

“Hey, wait a minute… why didn’t I achieve nirvana? Who the hell is this Sadowski guy anyway? I’m the one who makes little jobbies for BBEdit…

“I’m going to talk to someone about that.”

Sadowski is expected to ascend to a higher physical plane as soon as his license code arrives.

16 Responses to “Application Upgrade Allows User To Achieve Nirvana”

  1. Lousy First Poster says:

    First Po…. no… I can’t do it! I’m better than this.

  2. Lousy First Poster says:

    whoops, guess I’m not! Second!

  3. Glenster says:

    Hello again!

    Surely I’m not first…

  4. SEXY KING BITCH says:

    5th Post!!! FREE !!!

  5. Joscelin says:

    Now that we have all followed the path of enlightenment, we can all bask in the glory of oneness. And maybe we can read some of that Confucius guy’s stuff. You know, because vauge and engimatic kicks ass. In a pacifist sort of way I mean.

  6. bear says:

    Seventh!

  7. the7ofSwords says:

    As I understand it, enlightenment can only be reached ny letting go of the ego… to drop the intellectual self, and just feel yourself sort of fade into True Being.

    Sort of like Ralph Wiggum.

    7

    “Der Atem meiner Katze riecht wie Katzenahrung.”

  8. Mac users who give up transcendental meditation and leave their guru can’t go “om” again.

  9. greenacres says:

    Sounds like Moltz has been reading the ‘Onion’ too much. VERY similar story line….hmmmmmm…..

  10. bear says:

    “Mac users who give up transcendental meditation and leave their guru can’t go “om” again.”

    Is there a Reset button????

  11. Baal says:

    A follow up on the Newton crowd is at Wired.com: http://www.wired.com/news/mac/0,2125,64834,00.html

    Soo sad…

  12. Olgluk says:

    He’s been choosen

  13. UhhhDude says:

    I wanted to enter a higher state of being. I just can’t afford to get to California right now.

  14. This “Sadowski” must be destroyed!

  15. pran says:

    the total nirvanna thing has been used before on cars, i think.