06 Sep 04It's a holiday


So the offices are empty here at Crazy Apple Rumors Site. I wouldn’t be here except I forgot my ointment.

Uh… it’s for… um… there was… er…

Some chafing.

Anyway, just a quick note to thank all of you fine folks who are buying items through our Missing Bite link. Because of you we only had to sell three kidneys this quarter!

Don’t worry, we don’t sell our own. We get them from a guy.

Well…

Not so much a guy as… a…

Thing.

Perhaps I’ve said too much.

But, anyway, thanks a bunch. And that Apple logo hat looks good on you.

No, really, I’m not just saying that.

19 Responses to “It's a holiday”

  1. Sembazuru says:

    First!

  2. michael says:

    second!

  3. bear says:

    Second!

  4. bear says:

    Okay….third…..

  5. lumpkin says:

    hmmÂ…well, I guess this must be fourth then.

  6. Adam Jackson says:

    that was very nice of them

  7. js says:

    Just reading some old stories, I noticed that the comments sections are all getting spammed. Didn’t know this was possible. I will be sad if the comments have to disappear!

    Death to spammers!

  8. Huh? says:

    Chafing! See! It ISN’T just me….

    I knew I wasn’t the only one.

    Stop snickering.

  9. Small Paul says:

    I will buy nothing from your pitiful store! My Apple merchandise is hand-woven by my own… hands… on the back porch of my pine shack in the Rocky Mountains.

    In the mornings I drink deeply from the collected rainwater. In the evenings I hunt and slay live deer, feasting on their flesh once I have roasted it on a fire.

    But for most of the day, I craft Apple-branded clothing and accessories from hessian, and sometimes rocks.

    My granite imitation PowerBook is not particularly portable, but I can drop it all I want.

  10. K.Y. Moon says:

    Ointment! Ha!

    Ointment!! Ha!! Ha!!

    Ointment!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! Ha!!!

  11. UhhhDude says:

    Which is worse: the itching or the swelling?

  12. greenacres says:

    Hopefully, the oozing puss has stopped by now…

  13. Baal says:

    Baal was here.

  14. bear says:

    “I will buy nothing from your pitiful store! My Apple merchandise is hand-woven by my own… hands… on the back porch of my pine shack in the Rocky Mountains……….”

    Martha Stewart in Apple Land?????

  15. I remember when John invited me over one night for dinner. There was lots of talking and laughing and drinking. The next thing I know I woke up in a cheap hotel, lying in the bathtub filled with ice. Scrawled on the mirror in lipstick was a note to call 911. Seems as though one of my kidneys had been harvested. At least it was for a good cause.

    Now whenever I go out, the people always shout:

    “Hey! John ‘one-kidney’ Jingleheimer Smith!”

  16. fuddes says:

    First post!

    Damn it!

  17. Huck says:

    Firster post!

  18. Anonymous says:

    Non-Post!

    Awww…. crap.

  19. greenacres says:

    As The Apple Turns is now an iTunes affiliate… c’mon, feel the peer pressure….