Earlier today, Mac user Chris Moulton successfully used a broken CD carrier to justify the purchase of a $2,500 Power Mac G5, a $1,300 Cinema Display and a $400 iPod in a spectacular feat of logical gymnastics.
“It was masterful,” raved Moulton’ friend, Steve Davila. “I watched the whole thing and could scarcely believe my eyes. What began as the most meagre of purchases exploded into a spectacular display of unchecked avarice. We are in the presence of true greatness.”
Entering the Chandler Fashion Center Apple Store, Moulton “was talking about this busted CD carrier he had,” Davila said. “Just one of those $15 sleeves he used to carry CDs out to his car.”
Moulton began simply, by pondering the value in investing 15 additional dollars in CD technology when he really should be setting his sights on digital music.
“Immediately, I thought the goal was a new iPod,” Davila said. “That seemed obvious.”
Little did Davila know, however, that Moulton had grander plans this day.
“He made the iPod connection, but then noted that the hard drive on his G3 iBook wasn’t going to be big enough to hold all of his CDs when ripped at full quality.
“That’s when I knew he was going for the gold.”
In a span of what some observers estimated to be less than ten minutes, Moulton made a logical and financial leap of $4,185 plus tax.
Moulton reportedly received a standing ovation from those nearby, many of whom did not know him and had only overheard the conversation.
“He totally nailed the dismount,” said Apple Store shopper Greg Harter. “Saying that because he was buying a G5 he should get the 40 GB iPod instead of the 30 GB… that was a circular stroke of genius.”
“Frankly, I felt inadequate walking out of here with just an iSight that I don’t need,” said another shopper, Jeff Layfield. “Sort of… half a man.”
“There goes a real man,” Harter said admiringly, watching several Apple Store sales associates wheeling Moulton’ recently justified purchases out behind him.