23 Sep 04Broken CD Carrier Used As Justification For Purchase Of New G5.


Earlier today, Mac user Chris Moulton successfully used a broken CD carrier to justify the purchase of a $2,500 Power Mac G5, a $1,300 Cinema Display and a $400 iPod in a spectacular feat of logical gymnastics.

“It was masterful,” raved Moulton’ friend, Steve Davila. “I watched the whole thing and could scarcely believe my eyes. What began as the most meagre of purchases exploded into a spectacular display of unchecked avarice. We are in the presence of true greatness.”

Entering the Chandler Fashion Center Apple Store, Moulton “was talking about this busted CD carrier he had,” Davila said. “Just one of those $15 sleeves he used to carry CDs out to his car.”

Moulton began simply, by pondering the value in investing 15 additional dollars in CD technology when he really should be setting his sights on digital music.

“Immediately, I thought the goal was a new iPod,” Davila said. “That seemed obvious.”

Little did Davila know, however, that Moulton had grander plans this day.

“He made the iPod connection, but then noted that the hard drive on his G3 iBook wasn’t going to be big enough to hold all of his CDs when ripped at full quality.

“That’s when I knew he was going for the gold.”

In a span of what some observers estimated to be less than ten minutes, Moulton made a logical and financial leap of $4,185 plus tax.

Moulton reportedly received a standing ovation from those nearby, many of whom did not know him and had only overheard the conversation.

“He totally nailed the dismount,” said Apple Store shopper Greg Harter. “Saying that because he was buying a G5 he should get the 40 GB iPod instead of the 30 GB… that was a circular stroke of genius.”

“Frankly, I felt inadequate walking out of here with just an iSight that I don’t need,” said another shopper, Jeff Layfield. “Sort of… half a man.”

“There goes a real man,” Harter said admiringly, watching several Apple Store sales associates wheeling Moulton’ recently justified purchases out behind him.

29 Responses to “Broken CD Carrier Used As Justification For Purchase Of New G5.”

  1. How is this newsworthy? I mean, seems perfectly reasonable to me…

    (phurst)

  2. UhhhDude says:

    Thhhecond!

    (Daffy style.)

    I just wanna iMac G5. What do I have to break to get it?

  3. bear says:

    thurrrrrd!

  4. bear says:

    …and by the way, how do you pronounce “GHOTI”?

    And no, it’s not one of GLAARKU’s friends……

  5. UhhhDude says:

    “He made the iPod connection, but then noted that the hard drive on his G3 iBook wasn’t going to be big enough to hold all of his CDs when ripped at fully quality.”

    Uhh, should that have been “full quality”, or “full equality”?

    (Oh, and did I mention that none of the Macs in my house were built in a year that begins with a “2”?)

  6. Anonymous says:

    Is that a trick question?

  7. Anonymous says:

    Is that?

  8. Jimbob says:

    Just a note from pedants anonymous–

    CDs are digital.

    um, yeah, and Glaarku owns your soul or something.

  9. won says:

    It’s pronounced “fish”, bear.

    What do I win?

  10. Huck says:

    Post number…

  11. UhhhDude says:

    12! Oh crap.

    Did I also mention that one of my machines is really a clone? I could seriously outdo this Moulton guy at the Apple Store. I could parlay this into a G5 Power Mac AND iMac with an iPod AND a pink iPod mini AND a 17″ PowerBook. Think you can beat that, Moulton? Huh? Huh?

    Alls I needs now is some credit…

  12. Hawthorne says:

    Ah-ha, I thought I knew that guy from somewhere! I was right next to him in the store, justifying my ugrade from a 1st gen 5gb iPod to the new 40gb one because of the solitaire game!

  13. PoisedNoise says:

    Well I justified buying a new Audi A3 the other day at £15000 because it was the cheapest car you could get with a decent Bose sound system (if the use of decent and bose in the same sentence isn’t too much of a self-contradiction). I could have bought a cheap car and just put a better sound system in it but nooooo…

    Beat that suckers.

    For my next trick I will justify a new G5 because despite having replaced the power supply my G4s still too loud…

  14. Dougward says:

    “Dazzingly”? I’d like to dazz some logic.

  15. Chico says:

    Dazz some mighty good logic, eh boss?

  16. rwp says:

    It’s funny – until I realized, been there, done that!! Scary!

  17. Brother Mugga says:

    I’m seriously considering a top of the range Mini soft-top upgrade just so I can play iPods in it. Unlike my current Honda.

    I’m just saying…

  18. Del says:

    Do it man. I have the hard top, but I love it with the sun-roof.

    Plus the glove box is climate controlled. Keep your ipod or ice cream cold. The Harman Kardon speakers rock! Controlling your ipod through the steering wheel is hella cool!

  19. Colorado says:

    This fella Moulton has a serious medical condition, I suffer from the same uncontrollable urge every time I enter an Apple Store, the only cure is to bring your wife along.

  20. Yep says:

    I’ve done this. It’s fun.

  21. PoisedNoise says:

    You CAN iPod your Honda, Mugga, almost certainly. Go here: http://densionusa.com/merchant/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Category_Code=IA_Honda

    Nah, what the hell, get the mini.

  22. GLAARKU says:

    Chris Moulton, I salute you. You vicious, shopping bastard!!!!

  23. simple simon says:

    Bear,

    Won won. But here’s why:

    GH makes the ‘f’ sound as in enough

    O makes the “i” sound as in women

    Ti makes the “sh” sound as in action

    GHOTI = FISH

    But why did daddy name our pug Phydeaux?

    (P.S. this is totally off-topic, Masako.)

  24. Zweben says:

    They don’t MAKE 30 gig iPods…..

    O_o

  25. Dreaming says:

    But I am thinking a new G5 iMac w/ airport express to go with a new 40 gig iPod is perfectly justified if I am going to rip all of my CDs (1000+). My powerbook hard drive really is too small for that. Taking my wife along might well kill the fantasy. Then again, she would love to get all those CDs out of the living room and the iMac could serve as a replacement for her highly unstable aging IBM laptop.

  26. Thomas says:

    *wipes tear from eye*

    I’ve been inspired by this most moving of stories.

    But now I can’t go anywhere near the Apple store unless I outdo this. And I mean REALLY outdo this.

    So, I’m going to buy the entire shopping mall in my neighborhood — the one where Apple is a tenant. I’ll be Apple’s landlord. I’ll own the STORE! The actual bricks. I’ll move into the space across from the Apple store and then everytime I look outside, I’ll see the Apple store. *Sigh*

    *Dances with glee*

    I’ll be able to use their wireless network from my perch across from the Apple Store. I’ll be able to send official business letters to Apple legal. I’ll be able to watch the Apple store employees come and go. I’ll …..

    *Man in suit hands me letter. I open letter*

    Hmm, I am hereby served with a restraining order by Apple Computer, Inc…….. Looks like I can’t go anywhere near the Apple store.

  27. SexxxyMacChick says:

    Fido. Hooray for linguistics (god damn it)