According to sources close to the company, Microsoft has finally broken down and asked a friend to come over and help fix the rampant spyware problem on its computer.
“I just couldn’t take it anymore, the company said. “All these popup windows and redirects – it was driving me crazy!
“I asked around and the only way to fix it was some complicated process of editing the registry and… and…
Hanging its head, the company finally admitted “I just couldn’t figure it out.”
Steve Showalter, a technically savvy friend of the company, spent six hours eradicating a host of malware from Microsoft’s PC.
“It was bad,” said Showalter, wiping his brow after emerging from the company’s home. “I had to clean house. Then I installed a different browser because, sheesh, Microsoft was using Internet Explorer! It was like they were asking for it.”
The company expressed extreme frustration at having to deal with such an inconvenience.
“I hate to impose on Steve like that,” Microsoft said. “I just want it to work, you know? Sometimes I get so mad I… I…
“I think about switching platforms.”
The company then laughed nervously.
“Of course, I’d never do that! Ha-ha! Ha! Ha.
Showalter quickly excused himself as he had 95 million other computers to inoculate.