Nothing today

Apparently we don’t have to be called in to vote again because the e-vote machines failed as I suggested would happen the other day.

But, from what I understand, that’s only because we voted by mail.

Still, no story today, eh, because it’s my birthday.

See you Monday.

54 thoughts on “Nothing today”

  2. Finally! I get to be first. On such a great article too! you know…one of those classics…one of those “nothing today” classics…*Sigh* I’m so pathetic.

  3. Happy Birthday, Moltzman!

    (And how self-absorbed to you have to be to proclaim ‘first post’ in comments when they whole thing is about somebody’s birthday? Sheesh!)

  4. Can Moltz really have a ‘birthday’?

    Surely ‘inception date’ is more appropriate?

    Or maybe ‘vat number’?

    Oh all right, ‘Happy Birthday’. As we’re being nice to you.

    Tsch.

    Don’t get comfortable with it though; it’s a long way till Christmas…

  7. Oooohhh, baaaabeeeee, yeah, do it like that…oh, er, um, I’m giving Moltz a break here for a public service announcement.

    Moltz says he’s up to his armpits in hookers and beer, but he doesn’t say the ratio. And I can tell you, we were only up to his navel when he had a major cramp in his leg. We had to send himi to the hospital.

    But George Bush sent him roses and wished him to get well. Sent him gift certificate for hookers and beer up to his chin!

    Now that’s what a president is supposed to do! Right? Chicken in every pot, hookers up to your chin!

  8. Brother Mugga, I think the term is “decant”.

    > decant

     

    > SYLLABICATION: de·cant

    > PRONUNCIATION:   d-knt

    > TRANSITIVE VERB: Inflected forms: de·cant·ed, de·cant·ing, de·cants

    >1. To pour off (wine, for example) without disturbing the sediment. 2. To pour (a liquid) from one container into another.

    >ETYMOLOGY: Medieval Latin dcanthre : Latin d-, de- + Latin canthus, rim of a wheel or vessel (of Celtic origin).

    Actually, I was thinking of meaning two, but meaning one has certain merits, especially if you reallize any resemblane between John and a liquid is purely alcoholic.

  12. Does anyone else get the impression that Moltz is lying about this whole “Birthday” thing just to have an excuse for hookers and booze. I mean, come on, BIRTHDAY, It’s like someone uses that lame excuse EVERY year.

  14. Wasn’t an earlier post about hookers and pot? That sounds good. Beer’s okay, but Bushmills 16 year-old single-malt would also be fine.

    My birthday is on Monday… (really!)

    Moltz’ party is sounds more interesting than whatever I’ll be doing, I suspect.

    …not that I’m jealous or anything.

  16. Birthday, shmirthday. Hookers and beer are acceptable fare for any occasion. Except your honeymoon. That usually doesn’t go over very well.

    In a different vein, did someone give your birthday spanking? Including one to grow on? And spankings from hookers do not count.

    Well, I guess that vein was not as different as I thought it was.

    Oh well, here’s to not being first and getting closer to death!

  17. That John — he’s getting so big! Easy Johnny, don’t pull on the pony’s mane. Boy, whenever he has too much cake, he gets to be such a handful! Yes, dear, I know all your little friend Nick de Plume has two scoops of ice cream, but you know too much makes you go poopies! Now now, don’t be that way…um, excuse me for a moment…

  19. Da na na na na na. You say it’s your birhday? Da na na na na na. It’s my birthday too, yeah.

    How impressive that I share a birthday with the brain behind CARS. I was very lucky this year and my wife gave me a 20″ iMac G5 for my birthday. I hope yours was good as well!

    -Jeff

    New Orleans, LA

  23. John M. isn’t spilling the entire bean jar. What he neglects to tell CARS readers is that he is celebrating his 40th birthday, a milestone that puts him squarely into middle age.

    Some might even use the phrase “over the hill.”

    Or more appropriately, “all over but the nostalgic grumbling, elastic-waist slacks, loafers, physical deterioration, prostate trouble, decay and inevitable pointless death.”

    All this, of course, partly explains the previous day’s post, where John describes the rantings of an elderly Apple customer. Clearly aging weighs heavily on John’s nimble (for now) brain. Moreover, the numerous references to Northeast towns shows he has been thinking back to his happy childhood in Connecticut.

    In any case, Happy Birthday, Mr. Moltz-man. Sorry Jean Margaret and I can’t be in Tacoma for the party. But we’ll raise a glass here on West 55th Street.

  25. 40! As if!

    I’m…. er… 40-esque.

    Oh, and I’m getting a 46-inch HDTV which gets here today, thank you very much for asking.

    And later, lesbians will paddle me 40-ish times.

    Um… OK, well, the TV part is true. Later we’re going bowling.

    Still… bowling is fun.

  26. John-

    Although I don’t post much, and will never read your response, and don’t really care if it brings you joy or not, I thought I’d take this opportunity to say: you’re a failure and your mother and I never liked you.

    Can I borrow your TV?

  27. Happy B-day! Are you here in Oregon or do other states have the extremely unconstitutional vote-by-mail system, too?

  28. 28th post.

    What say we get it up to 40?

    Just so John can read every one of them and ponder the years he’s wasted.

    God knows I am. Even while typing this.

  29. I heard that Masako was lined up to give him his birthday spanking.

    (Sigh.)

    Life is good, eh John?

    I also heard that The Entity is still unclear on the whole birthday concept, since he transcends linear time. Like CTHULU, but with more flair.

    As for being up to his neck in booze and hookers, wouldn’t it be safe to say that he only has to be waist-deep to attain optimun satisfaction? I’m just saying.

  30. Happy Birthday, John!

    -jcr

    PS: No, we don’t sell iPod Photo preloaded with “Special” pictures. Shame on you!

  31. “40-ESQUE??!” FEH! IT IS A MERE FLASH IN THE COSMIC PAN!!

    IF I WERE TO COMMUNICATE MY TRUE AGE VIA THIS PALTRY MEDIUM, IT WOULD BRING YOUR PUNY INTERNET TO ITS KNEES!!!

    THE UNSPEAKABLE HORROR OF A NUMBER THAT HUGE WOULD CAUSE YOU TO SUCK OUT YOUR OWN PATHETIC BRAIN IN A FUTILE ATTEMPT AT ESCAPE!!!!!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

  33. 40 posts! That’s ridiculous. Never happen. Out of the question. Move along, nothing to see here….

  35. I’m all about stuffing the Ballot Box. And watching people try to suck out their own brains.

  37. 38th!

    Treat yourself to that Super-Sized Cinema Display for your birthday, John. It’ll come in real handy when your vision starts failing you….

    BTW, which is the most efficient method for sucking one’s brain out? Through the nostrils or out one earhole? Or would drilling through the skull work better?

  38. Well, the egyptians went with the nostrils, and they had years of experience. So…

    For some reason it’s not as popular today, though.

  39. 39th.

    Just another step.

    See what I did there?

    No you’re right; it wasn’t really worth it. And I’ve only ever seen the film, not being able to read and everything.

  40. The big four oh.

    Now what you really need is BEST PRICES ON V.I.A.G.R.A. AND OXY*CONTIN. NO PRESCRIPTION NECESSARY

  43. AllRight.

    This is gonna sound petty.

    Here it is Monday, and this guy is starting his 41st year of life as a liar.

    He explicitly said in his friday post that he would be back on monday.

    Here it is, Monday evening at 8:30 pm eastern and nothing for today.

    What a big fat fibber.

    What a big fat 40 year old fibber.

  44. Well, I was just going to post what riscbased said above. So I guess I won’t have to tell you that JOHN IS LATE AGAIN! Bah, he must still be hungover… or something…

  46. Here it is 8:30 Central, and still no post. ‘Course, he didn’t say he’d be back Monday, just “See you Monday.” Do any of us know who you is?

Comments are closed.