Reports indicate today that Mac OS X 10.3.6, in addition to causing a number of Firewire drives to cease to pop up on the desktop, may also cause other things to cease to pop up, most notably male genitalia.
Reader reports flooded into Macintouch today from confused, bitter and desperate Mac users.
“I’ve been having ‘problems’ getting my ‘hard drive’ to ‘mount’… if you know what I mean.” – Mark, Oakland
“After updating, my Johnson does not react appropriately to visual stimulation.” – Todd, New York
“My soldier does not stand at attention.” – Dan, Boston
“The ultimate representation of my manhood is not functioning within normal parameters. And, while it sucks that my Space: 1999 Eagle Playset is busted, there also appears to be something wrong with my penis.” – Karl, Dayton
“There’s something wrong… down there. No! Down… there! Fur-ther… right… there! Oh, yeah. Uh… Hmm. Yep. Nothing. I’m not getting anything. Thanks for trying, though. Oh, really, baby, it’s not you. It’s me. I’ll call you.” – Richard, San Diego
“I’m contemplating downgrading to 10.3.5. This is a long and complicated process. First, I have to find my Panther install CDs. Then I have to spend the two hours doing the Panther install. Once that’s installed, I have install all the OS updates. Then, finally after about five hours of work my Glenn Dickey should be back on the beat. Ah, on second thought, screw it. It’s not like I’ve been using it recently.” – Tim, Orlando
Apple has yet to recognize the problem and has even deleted several posts from the company’s online discussion boards, though they do all violate the profanity clause simply by the nature of the subject.
At this time, Mac experts are recommending male users avoid installing 10.3.6 while cut-rate pharmaceutical sites are eagerly spamming .Mac email accounts.
This quickly shaping up to be the worst update since 10.2.1 unleashed the Hell beast Ronquar which cut a swath of destruction through Cos Cob, New York. Ronquar, now fully sated, was last seen living on the Lower East Side and working as an accountant for a actuarial company.