Sources within Apple’s iPod division indicate that, after negotiations with the broadcasting industry, the company will be adding commercials to its Digital Rights Management scheme.
“Clearly Apple’s iTunes and iPod have an unfair advantage when compared to more traditional forms of listening to music,” said Peter Oliver, spokesperson for the Broadcast Industry Association. “We believed that it was only fair to level the playing field.”
Now when iTunes and iPod users listen to their music, they will be required to listen to five minutes of advertisements after every five songs. Or, after every three songs during rush hour.
“We believe that our customers will enjoy the retro appeal to the days when people listened to music non-digitally,” said Apple CEO Steve Jobs.
According to sources, Apple customers can expect to hear ads for car insurance, jewelry stores and cheap airlines.
The one thing they won’t hear is ads for Apple products.
In exchange for adding commercials to iTunes and the iPod, the broadcasting industry has agreed to insert subliminal advertising for Apple products into daily programming throughout the country. Ironically, as this only affects Apple products used within the United States, those countries that languished so long without the iTunes Music Store will now be the ones that will enjoy it without commercial interruption.
“This is just…,” DRM expert and BoingBoing author Cory Doctorow said, searching for words to express his anger. “I can’t… pff… I mean… with the… and… because… GAAAH!
“I’ve seen a lot of crappy-assed DRM schemes but… this!?”
Doctorow was so enraged that he had to go lie down and listen to a recording of James Earl Jones doing a dramatic reading of the Creative Commons license.
Commercials will be introduced in the Mac OS X 10.3.7 update that no one will ever download.