18 Nov 04Convergence Of Tools Prompts End To Technology Urge.


In an event that could have dire implications for the Mac market, a convergence of recently released items has caused some Mac users to call an end to their perpetual quest for the next great technological thing.

The announcement of El Gato’s EyeTV 610 combined with the release of 16x DVD drives from Formac have brought Mac user Alan Banda to a technological happy place.

The ability to record interference-free digital cable television shows on his Power Mac G5 and then burn them to DVD has completely sated the technological urge for a certain group of Mac users.

“I just realized…,” Banda said. “I now have everything I want. I’m done! I can record digital TV shows and burn them quickly to DVD…

“I’m sorry, was there something else I was supposed to get out of computers? Because that’s really all I wanted.”

Concerned marketing executives from Apple and Mac peripheral makers rushed to Banda’s apartment in San Francisco to temp him with other products.

“We can’t interest you in a new iPod?” asked Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller, holding up a shiny new U2 iPod.

“Mmm… no,” Banda said, burning a high-quality copy of the latest episode of Arrested Development. “Thanks, though.”

“What about a flat screen monitor?” chimed in another executive.

“A tablet input device?!” asked another.

“A color laser printer?!”

“A Palm-based cell phone?!”

Banda, however, proved immune to the allure of shiny new devices.

Apple will sponsor a technology summit to brainstorm ideas about how to make people feel an addiction to technology that never ends.

29 Responses to “Convergence Of Tools Prompts End To Technology Urge.”

  1. Daddy Bartholomew says:

    DEFINITELY first!

  2. Daddy Bartholomew says:

    Now to read the damn thing…

  3. MacStansbury says:

    ooo I’ve wasted my life.

    third-ish

  4. Zach says:

    WOW third??

  5. Daddy Bartholomew says:

    OK, really weird thing here — I had to read it three times to decide it was satire…

    Which, perhaps, says more about me than about the article, to my consternation.

    My wife, however, was totally unsympathetic.

    “If you ever got off the damn computer, you might remember you’re married. With kids. Three of them. And I’m not dragging your sorry ass to bed again if you fall asleep while surfing. Loser.”

    I really thought she was being a bit harsh.

    I was a bit surprised to find out about the kids, though…

  6. MacStansbury says:

    yeah, I’m going to break with tradition and actually talk about the story for once. I honestly think that there are people out there that are starting to get satisfied with their computing needs. it happens.

    in my house I’ve got the dual G5 and an iMac, and I’m set for life. it’s not like I’m Pixar™ or anything. heck, after I get the PowerBook, Palm cellphone, and the iPod Flash—I mean—iPod flash, I’m done. that shiny new Mac that you’ll need to run Mac OS 10.7 Ocelot? NIMBY.

    no thanks, I’m good.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Why would I want to put my shiny new Mac in YOUR backyard? I’m keeping Ocelot all to myself, thank you very much.

  8. UhhhDude says:

    If that’s nirvana, then I’m about 12,000 miles away from their location.

  9. Brother Mugga says:

    My search will be incomplete until my computer can generate smart answers to all those who accuse me of not having a life. And I’m going to continue sitting in front of it all day until that happens, goddamit.

  10. Brother Mugga says:

    PS: Excepting my yearly ‘visit’ to the Bartholomew household, of course.

  11. Scooter says:

    I’m sorry Alan Banda, but you are such a loser. Come on! Core Data is coming!

    “work with multiple persistent stores at the same time”

    “use predefined fetch requests and predicates to find your objects”

    “get more out of your validation rules, and how to manipulate schemas at runtime”

    Yes Core Data is coming and it rules. It’s so great, Apple won’t even talk about it.

  12. Baby, I promise to quit just as soon as they update the Powerbook line says:

    Just like a whole heck of a lot Apple users out there, I can find a lot of truth in this article. We due tend to chase the latest and greatest. That’s why we buy Apples, but I can say even though I have my dual 1.8 G5 with 1.5 gigs o’ ram and 2 250GB internal hard drives, I refuse to purchase a new monitor.

    Yes, this crt really, and truly sucks. I cannot justify the expense of a new monitor. Now, I have to go to the pawn shop to get the money for an airport express, and an airport extreme card.

  13. Del says:

    There are two products I need on my back and they make me happy. The first is wClock availalbe from version tracker. You can customize your system clock a little more and get a nifty calendar when you click on it & the Apple Script Menu. I guess I don’t get the whole spending money on App’s to replace the apple menu or give you extra dock features when it works so well!

    I’ve got simple scripts to open applications and more complicated ones that do complicated tasks so for things I need to do everyday it is just one click.

    Once I got those two free things I was happy. Sure once in a while I long for an iPod, and maybe a g5 17″ powerbook, and with maybe a DVD burner. Maybe 2GB usb stick and a few other things, but really thats it. Ok maybe I also want one of the new iMacs for home.

  14. Del says:

    Ok a color laser printer would be nice. Oh and sexbots.

  15. caerulea says:

    definitely sexbots

  16. MacStansbury says:

    Honestly, what’s up with sexbots? We haven’t had a sexbot story in, well, over a year?!? And that was just because it was an Evil Apple Sexbot. Honestly, I don’t think there’s money in it for them.

    Not unless they make toast. And play Windows Media Player Format. And run games with Direct X 9 and later. Then both me AND Hawk will be happy.

  17. Del says:

    I agree with toast. Working with Sexbots always makes me hungry. I’ve heard they run hot enough to fry eggs and bacon on, but I haven’t tried it. Toast would be very tasty.

    I can live without WMP I have for years. Direct X 9 might be nice… If I could play all my Win games on my sexbot I wouldn’t need windows EVER again. Then my life would be perfect. I know what I’m asking for for Christmas.

  18. Talkie Toaster says:

    So you’d like some toast, then?

  19. Del says:

    Why yes thank you Talkie. Your toast is perfect. I like the bread you used. Is it home made?

  20. GLAARKU says:

    I would like a Ham & Cheese Bramble, and maybe a real English Muffin… I’m a not opposed to toasted bread products… unless I was stuck on some sort of space mining ship or something.

    Glad you’re still working! Crapola products are very hearty.

  21. MacStansbury says:

    For those of you who don’t understand all the toast/sexbot talk:

    http://www.applegeeks.com/comic_archive/viewcomic.php?issue=146

  22. Talkie Toaster says:

    How about a nice crumpet?

  23. GLAARKU says:

    Thanks for the AppleGeeks link, never seen that site before, very slick!

    Actually, Talkie Toaster is a character on the OUTSTANDING British Sci-Fi Comedy: Red Dwarf.

    Many seasons available on DVD now… check it out if you’ve not seen it yet… you’ll thank us later! 😉

  24. Anonymous says:

    yummy 16x dvd toast titanium required.

  25. UhhhDude says:

    No toast at this site. (See link.)

  26. MacStansbury says:

    For some odd reason my public broadcasting station CUT OFF Red Dwarf for some reason. Replaced it with gardening.

    No, I don’t know why either.

    So, all I got to see was one episode where either they all turned into children or there was some robot or something that wanted to kill them all.

    And I seem to remember one of them was black and another was a dog. And there were no short, red people for some reason. Like I said, I only got to see one episode.

    TOAST!

  27. Anonymous says:

    TOAST! is ™ and ® and probably © 2004 MacStansbury.com and its licensers. All rights reserved. Don’t even think about using my intellectual property without paying the licensing fee or I will sue you blind.

  28. Apple Legal says:

    Vague Threats are the Intellectual Property of Apple Computers, Inc. Cease and desist all postings using Vague Threats or you will really understand the whole sued blind thing.

    Can you dig it—SUKKA!!!!

  29. GLAARKU says:

    MacStansbury, that is an OUTRAGE!!! Gardening Show?!? Hold on while my head implodes… (ewwww, that was NASTY!).

    Okay, all better now. Yes, you have to watch Red Dwarf, as God Himself intended, from the very start, which is aptly named “The End.” You might be able to rent them at a finer video store near you. I am not affiliated with Red Dwarf, or Amazon.com, other than being hopelessly addicted to both.

    Cheers!