Ace Crazy Apple Rumors Site photographer Howard (the talking dog) has obtained a shocking photograph of Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer espousing the superiority of the Apple iPod.
According to Howard, through the use of special dog stealth techniques (I think that just means he clipped his toenails short), he was able to sneak into a secret meeting at the Microsoft campus and snap only this picture before being ejected by the company’s jack-booted thugs.
From the position of Ballmer’s lips, he is apparently about to point out how “bitching” the iPod is.
Maybe “promigulent.” I… don’t think that’s a word, though.
It could be “puppies.”
While the iPod is, of course, what immediately draws your attention, if you look closely you will note that Ballmer is seated next to a young alien bat boy. Clearly, this creature is the product of an unholy union between Ballmer and one of the flying mammal women of the 12th moon of Regulus IV.
Anyone who knows the artwork of Boris Vallejo knows what I’m talking about.
It’s hard to decide which is more shocking, the fact that Microsoft’s chief executive has been caught pimping Apple’s hottest product, or the fact that he’s making it with alien bat women.
I mean, used to be that the flying mammal women of the 12th moon of Regulus IV had some standards.
What was it? The money? Was it the money?! Because…
Also, there was some talk going around that Ballmer was actually sitting on the Ark of the Covenant.
However, that can neither be confirmed or denied.