Every Friday, the staff at Crazy Apple Rumors Site answers common help questions based on our vast experience with Apple products and our fervent belief that we know more than you do.
Q: I’ve been using Macs since 1995. I’ve had a host of Performas, iMacs and PowerBooks. I’ve used OS 8, 9 and 10. But one thing has been bothering me this whole time. What’s this thing?
A: That thing?
Q: No. That’s my D’Argo action figure. What’s this thing?
A: This thing?
Q: GAH! No! Why would I be asking you what my mint condition Captain America and Falcon issue #167 from 1973 is?! I know what it is!
A: Well, do you mean that?
Q: Are you blind, as well as stupid and annoying?!
A: I…
Q: That’s clearly my collection of Starlog magazines featuring Boba Fett on the cover! Why are you making this so difficult?!
A: I’m not, you’re just gesturing wildly!
Q: THAT! RIGHT THERE!
A: That?
Q: YES! THAT!
A: That’s… that’s the Apple icon. From whence comes the Apple menu. You may have heard of it.
Q: OK, now I feel stupid.
A: Ah, well, then, my work is done here.
Q: I have a Power Mac G5 which I’m working on a case mod for.
A: What? No. Dude, case mods are for PCs. You don’t case mod a G5. That would be an act against nature. An aberration.
Q: No, see, this case mod would make the G5 even cooler looking, combining the best of Apple’s inimitable design and the armor of the most deadly assassin in the sector!
A: Oh, no… you can’t be serious…
Q: Two words: Boba Mac!
A: NO!
Q: BO-BA MAC! BO-BA MAC! BO-BA MAC!
A: DON’T YOU DO IT!
Q: I’M DOING IT!
A: DON’T YOU DO IT!
Q: I’M MOD-ING MY MAC INTO BOBA FETT AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO!
A: NOOOOOOOOO!!!
Q: Uh, well, actually, I don’t have all the parts yet. I’m having a hard time getting the helmet just right.
A: Oh. OK. Well…
Q: Um…
A: Why don’t you just call me back when you’re ready and we can pick up where we left off.
Q: At, uh, “…AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO!”?
A: Yeah, that’ll work.
Q: I have a G4 iBook that I will use as a convenient lead-in to this question which will have nothing to do with it.
A: OK.
Q: The question is, why do so many questions on this feature mention Boba Fett?
A: Oh, well, he’s such a popular character – perhaps the most popular character – from the remarkable breadth of truly talented filmmaking done by George Lucas.
Q: Um…
A: And the crap he’s spewed out in the last fifteen years.
Q: OK, there you go.
A: So, it’s not really so unusual to mention Boba Fett.
Q: Well… are you sure… um…
A: What?
Q: No, I shouldn’t.
A: What?!
Q: Well… I mean… have you considered that… No.
A: WHAT?!
Q: That… you might have a… heh… Boba Fettish?
A: …
Q: Ha-ha! See, it’s funny because…
A: …
Q: I’ll go now.
Yes, that whole Boba Fett thing was always a mystery to me. He had, what, two lines in two movies? If George Lucas had any sense of irony at all he would have combined the most hated and loved characters of Star Wars geeks by making Jar-Jar Binks (after suffering some Darth Vader-style disfigurment to fit into the helmet) the secret identity of Boba Fett.
first to say first!
Third! And RIP Kar D’argo…
Marching forth…
Did someone use “George Lucas” and “sense of irony” in the same sentence?
My name says it all.
Vader is obviously more popular.
“Ha-ha! See, it’s funny because…”
…it’s true.
Has anyone noticed that George Lucas spelled backwards is Sacul Egroeg?
I bet the next post is…
And your point is…?
Yeah, this whole Jango/Boba/Stormtrooper thing has me confused.
First off, are we really supposed to believe that every single Stormtrooper in the Imperial Army is a clone of Jango Fett? Those guys couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with a thermal detonator, let alone a blaster.
Secondly, what’s so great about Jango, anyway? First, he hires some shapeshifting weirdo to kill Queen Amidala rather than doing the job himself.
Secondly, Jango kills the shapeshifter when he/she/it is about to divulge Jango’s name. Hmmm, let’s see — I’m a greatly skilled bounty hunter, feared throughout the galaxy. I have a choice to make. Should I kill the bounty hunter that I subcontracted to, and then very noisily launch into the night sky with my jetpack, or should I kill the two Jedi charged with protecting my true target, the Queen? (Oh, and by the way, the two Jedi are hunched over the prostrate shapeshifter with their backs to me.) This guy makes Squeaky Fromme look like George Patton.
Next, he is felled by a single decapitative blow that any decent fighter would have seen coming from a mile away. And don’t get me started on that stupid cloneson Boba, who winds up launching himself straight into the Sarlacc. Smooth move there, Bobanator.
Hmmm…maybe it does make sense that the the Stormtrooper are Fett family clones. At any rate, I think the Emperor should demand a refund from those very tall thin tactful aliens on the hidden mystery planet of Kamino.
There. That feels better — just had to get it off my chest. Plus, it’s getting late and I need to change into my Grand Moff Tarkin Underoos.
The tenth post declares that Mike C. (aka the ninth post) thinks too much.
The ELEVENTH post thinks that most of the posters need a reality check.
(Oooooh it is toasty good, It like 11)
So is this from some sort of movie?
Hmmmm.
Fat boobies.
Booby Fat, you made my day. Both of you.
I respectfully request a feature about Janie Porche. What’s she up to? Does she still use an Apple? Which one? Nothing fancy, mind you. Just an update. Muchas gracias.
Sweet Sixteen!
Uh, Chris? Have you visited this site often/ever? You sound way too rational to be a regular? No babbling about obscure and silly science fiction charactors. No vague or immature sexual references. No bizaare obsession with posting numbers.
Strange…truly strange.
Anyone ever had 100th post?
I’m going for it…
…and one day I shall have it…
..mine I SAY…
…I’ll stop now.
Sorry.
Streetrabbit, you poor dead bunny. Have you heard of the Mega Post?
Vote Booby Fat for president!
With Steve Ballmer as the VP? He and Booby Fat have a LOT in common….
And, don’t forget, Boba Fett just FELL into the Sarlacc (or however it’s spelled).
That is so lame.
Hey, I’m the deadliest bounty hunter in the sector! Look at me, mom! Mom! Mom! Look at me! Look at m… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
And then…
if we all remember correctly…
What did the Sarlacc do?
It burped.
Deadliest bounty hunter in the sector is reduced to a gas joke.
I think we all know where Lucas started his slide.
Yeah, ROTJ causes a lot of mixed feelings.
I remember also that there was some line about “a new definition of torture as the Beast takes a hundred generations to digest its prey.” I wondered, “But we only live 75 years or so. Would you live for a hundred generations down there?”
Yeah, Sarlacc. Big, foam-rubber canine teeth sticking out of a wall of sand. That’s not all that scary, unless you’re paying the premium for its dental insurance.
Maybe Boba should have traded in his dad’s “lucky helmet.”
I’ll know the Empire has won if we see any Ewoks or Gungans in Episode III. Of course, we probably will, and their gas too.
Computers and Star Wars.
This is like some sort of bad asthma inhaler induced flash back.
Takes your breath away, does it?
My 39th level Mage can take care of that for you. He’s got the Harmathri Jewel (+26 against Technology-based attacks)
98…
99…
100
yes, I am the only one to know the pleasures of the 100th Post. and let me tell you, the post-stacking joy you get is beyond anything that one can imagine. it’s like getting a functional original Boba Fett with working backpack spear in the original packaging.
or sex. it could be as good as sex. I guess if I ever get any then I’ll be able to compare the two.
but for now…Scrumtralescent!
Hey, look at me! I’m in mint condition!
mmmmmmm… minty
Mint tea is an excellent drink.
But, when I’m on this site, I think I need something in the lines of a mint julip.
Hmm. Maybe, anything with creme de menthe.
Oh, screw it, It’s time to break out with the Rumple Minze.
With a Peppermint Schnapps sidecar?
postcount++
mint julip
Boba Fett isn’t very important. Sure, without him Star Wars wouldn’t be what it is, but a CareBear could do his job.
Me signing out
I will help
Still helping
Wow, this is a pain in the rear
When
Will
NM, they just did
“Boba Fettish”, what about that? That’s comedy gold you didn’t have to mine or pay for, that’s what that is. It is. Is it?
[nevermind this one]Booby Mints comment deleted.
They halted my progress, now I have to go to school, all the wasted time. Ahhh
Go 4 IT!!! Dare to DREAM!!!
How can you tell if you’ve hit 100? I mean, there are no post index numbers, are there?
GLAARKU look at the number in () next to Comments. Thats how many posts are in here. This should be post 47 unless someone sneaks in between us.
I thought all gods new about that.
I’m a little disappointed, maybe I’ll go back to Cthulu or some other elder god.
BTW the Mega Post is now at 1718 posts.
we
should