18 Jan 05We're Back!


After weeks of fever-pitched battle against Tentaculous, the gigantic octopus-like creature at the center of our galaxy, the Crazy Apple Rumors Site crew has returned triumphant!

Um, well, actually, we all got kind of bored of it and just ended up calling it a tie.

I know a tie isn’t really very exciting. It’s more the kind of thing you expect from sissy sports like soccer, cricket and… um… rugby. So, you’re probably a little disappointed.

But the good news is that it’s a tie in name only, really, as Tentaculous has called off his invasion of Earth!

Well, OK, it was mostly due to a scheduling problem – he’s got a lot of planets to invade, civilizations to crush, you know how it is – not our resistance. But he did send us a nice note saying it was a pleasure doing battle with us and that, if he had the time, he’d love to continue doing battle with us, but he didn’t have the time so he hoped we’d understand and please accept this gift set from Dean and Delucca in lieu of being crushed beyond all recognition and…

Well, it was very nice. Hand-written. Little piece of vellum paper in it. Faint aroma of rose water.

You know, lots of people ask me if the name of Crazy Apple Rumors Site’s parent company, Giant Squid Productions, has something to do with the fact that Tentaculous is a giant octopus himself.

Well, certainly. The Entity picked the name and I can only assume he did so because the squid is the natural enemy of the octopus.

What?

Oh.

I’m told by Chet in our Research Department (he’s just over there because it’s on the other side of the office and we were tossing the Nerf football around earlier) that that’s not true at all. Squid and octopuses don’t even really pay attention to each other.

The natural enemy of the octopus is actually the mongoose.

Huh.

That’s…

odd.

How do they… ?

Well, whatever.

We’re back, and we should be getting up and running with sinfully delicious Apple rumors on a regular basis real soon.

Which won’t be easy right after Macworld, but…

Um…

Maybe we’ll just make some crap up. How would that be?

59 Responses to “We're Back!”

  1. UhhhDude says:

    One time these guys came by and wanted to invite me to come with them. “Come on,” they implored. “We’re gonna put on tight-fitting, gaudy costumes that show all our bulges, then we’re chase each other around and then there’ll be grabbing and pulling and jumping on each other and–”

    “Ewww!” I interrupted. “What kinda sick kinky perv thing are you guys up to?”

    “What are you talking about?” they answered. “It’s not perverted. We’re just gonna play some football.”

    Also, to nitpickerpickerpickerpickerpicker–(*SLAP!*) Oh! Thank you–The “vellum” in the post refers a type of paper. Nicer than tracing paper, thicker than onion skin paper. Hence the spelling.

    Mmmmmmmm,,,,onion.

  2. Bellidancer says:

    I don’t know if it means anything, but the local station is promoing a story for the 11 o’clock news about a giant squid that washed up on the beach today… Dead! Huge purple thing! No speculation about foul play and no identification of the body.

    Could this be fallout from the battle.

  3. greenacres says:

    Ok, ‘ Catch the Disc, Dammit! ‘ person. Ultimate was a good time, too. Not a hell of alot of violence, though. Finesse and speed. Played it an awful lot in college, also. Sigh, I miss those days…Oh, and Tentaculus was a wimpy college student then. I remember the football team razzing him and he’d yell back as they laughed walking away. “I’ll get you someday! All of you!” Hmmm. Probably was a mistake to tease him, right?

  4. Psyko says:

    Brickles!

  5. I’ve got to cast my vote for Ultimate. Besides, that’s a game that Rin Tin Tin can play.

    The question that has been bothering me is:

    What is the natural enemy of Lassie?

  6. Brother Mugga says:

    Bambi

    Or possibly Roddy McDowell.

    It’s a close call.

  7. Psyko says:

    The natural enemy of Lassie is a drunk guy with a shotgun duh.

  8. Streetrabbit says:

    Old post post.

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