After Apple’s blockbuster announcement of a sub-$500 Mac, the Mac Mini, technology pundits have been asking just what this means for the company known for premium products. According to analysts, the Mac Mini represents a crucial paradigm shift for Apple and blah, blah, blah.
Lehman Brothers’ Daniel Niles said “Apple has finally made it’s move to the low end of the market. This is key to the company’s future financial success and yadda, yadda, yadda.
“It’s important to note that Steve Jobs woodle, woodle, woodle and market share a-hey nonny, nonny a-plinnnnng.”
But Niles isn’t the only Apple follower pointlessly running at the mouth over the Mac Mini.
“The Mac Mini is one-of-a-kind in design innovation and it provides a low-cost value proposition that will appeal to those who aren’t already using a Mac,” said the New York Times’ David Pogue.
“But moreover, a-loodle doo-woop dee bang-a-wang. Now Apple has a wocka-wocka ding dong and the enterprise market skip to the loo, my darling.”
Analysts went on to drone on and on about core competencies, mind-share and something about strategic product symmetry or some crap like that, before dancing wildly about their offices flailing their arms and singing show tunes.
Holy crap 1st!
Show tunes like “Mac be a mini toniiiight”
Thirst! I mean third!
Fourth, and walla walla walla pa-ZING
If you ask me it’s the Altair all over again chim chim cheroo.
Eky, eky, eky, wupitapang!
Has anyone seen my Dad? He said he’d pick me up here after Football practice…. He’s running a few days late now, and this Mongoose keeps staring at me as it drives by!
The nieuwe Mac mini is een heel aantrekkelijk product dat een groot deel van de computer markt naar zich toe zal trekken.
Aldus een woordvoerder van de consumentenbond, voordat hij door een IT neergestoken werd.
Translation: The Mac mini (lowercase m) is a very compelling product that will succeed in yee, yee, hi, lallaala fleeeep.
(translation excludes biting remark about dutch consumer organistion who always rated Apple products badly)
In a recent letter to Vogue magazine, Jonathon Saint Du Pont asks;
“Which handbag do you think would go best with my Mac Mini? I’m stuck between the Louis Vuitton and the Versace. Then again I’ve got a darling little Gucci that might be just the job.”
When picking up his Mac Mini at a post office in Auchtermuchty,Scotland an angry customer was overheard saying;
“Naw nawÂ…this isnae whit ah ordired. Thon keelt widnae gay roon a wee lassie neÂ’r mind a beg galloot likÂ’ me.”
that entry was not funny guys.
Bom-bom-bom-bom, bom-bom-bom-bom, ding-a-don-ding, blue moon!
JESUS BUILT MY HOTROD LYRICS
Â
Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true
Jerry lee lewis was the devil
Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long
Ding dang a dong bong bing bong
Ticky ticky thought of a gun
Everytime I try to do it all now baby
Am I on the run
Why why why why why baby
If itÂ’s so evil then?
Give me my time, with all my power
Give it to me all again (wow)
Ding a ding a dang a dong dong ding dong
Every where I go
Everytime you tell me baby
When I settle down
Got to get me a trailer park
And hold my world around
Why why why why?
Ding ding donga dong dong ding dong
Dingy dingy son of a gun
Half my time I tell you baby
Never am I all for sure
Why why why why why baby
Sicky sicky from within
Everytime I stick my finger on in ya
YouÂ’re a wild wild little town bitch
Now how Â’bout ding a dang dong dong dong ling long
Dingy a dingy dong a down
Everytime you tell me baby
When I settle down
Got to get me a trailer park
And hold my world around
Why why why why?
In my dang a ding a ding a ding dong
A sticky sticky son of a gun
Ding a danga danga dong dong ding dong
Why why never know
Why why wack a dong a dang ding dong
Then you take it on the bill
Ding dang dong donÂ’t dong
Whoa!
I wanna love ya!
Why why why, why why darling
Do you do you tell me to play?
Half the time I talk about it all now baby
You know what IÂ’m talkinÂ’ about I said
Why why why itÂ’ll
Ticky ticky ticky ticky
Son of a gun
Ding ding dong a bong bong bing bong
Ticky ticky thought of a gun
Bing bing bang a bang a bang bing bong bing a bing bang a bong
Binga bing a bang a bong bong bing bong bing banga bong
Bing bing bang a bong bong bing bing binga binga banga bong
Bing bing bang a bang bang bing bong
Aarrrhhhh…
Ding dang a dang bong bing bong
Ticky ticky thought of a gun
Everytime I try to do it all now baby
Am I on the run
Why why why
ItÂ’ll ticky ticky ticky ticky ticky ticky
Dawn of a gun
Bing bing bang a bong a bong bing bang a
Ticky ticky thought of a gun
Bing bip bip a bop bop boom bam
Ticky ticky through the day
If you got a doubt Â’bout baby
The memory is on the bed
Why why why why why
DarlinÂ’ uh it donÂ’t know
When my time is on
Might tell me never do it on his own
If my time was all as is yours
Make me burn a wish
When my time with you is brutish
No IÂ’ll never not ever
Why why why why why why baby heavy hell
Alone and itÂ’s here itÂ’s this thunder
The thunder oh thunder
Oh!
Jesus built my car
ItÂ’s a love affair
Mainly jesus and my hot rod
Why no ‘ram-a-lang-a-ding-dong’?
I feel short-changed.
PS: See that Sim Wong Hoo? That’s you, that is. That’s who you want to be. You *lurve* him. He’s your boyfriend.
Sim Wong WHO?
…and what about Mini the Moocher?
YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA!
YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA!
YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA!
YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA!
YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA! YADDA!
Let’s not forget the whole
“… the mini isn’t so in expensive. You can get a really stripped down Dell that is not really comparable to the mini for less money … blah, blah … (head implodes).
Say it with me!
Heidi-heidi-heidi-HO! (Heidi-heidi-heidi-HO!)
Heedee-Heedee-Heedee-HI! (Heedee-Heedee-Heedee-HI!)
Etc.-Etc.! (Etc.-Etc.!)
NEXT SLIDE PLEASE! (NEXT SLIDE PLEASE!)
(Whoa. I went way back into the Archives for that one.)
Cab Calloway will always be hip!
Pull it together people! Don’t you realize what you are doing is wrong? You can’t follow the rumor so closely and you DEFINITELY can’t pull in characters from old posts. Get a grip people, don’t turn this place into some other straight-laced rumor site. We are velcro people.
Velcro is for wimps.
I prefer leather straps.
Let’s just say it keeps everything more secure……wink…wink….nudge…nudge.
By the way. Who out there in CARS land is listening to Tom Waits, drinking a pitcher of piña coladas, and brushing up on music theory?
Anybody?……..or is it just me?
Holy crap……I’ve been drinking for the last 2 hrs. and I still have not accomplished a thing.
Oh well it’s Friday……..Yeeeee…Haaaaaa!!!!!!!!
Put it together and what do you got?
Bibity bobity boo.
What did I hear stripped down Del!? I swear I was young and needed the money.
But did you do it to show tunes?
That’s the real question Del.
We are velcro, not leather straps. (Velcro sounds cool.)
The real question for you, Del, is whether you were legal or not. Being illegal makes a horribly nasty and wrong thing so much worse.
Velcro may sound cool, but leather feels soooooo much better.
And I’m sure that Del was beyond the age of majority. The mighty Del would not stoop so low.
Psyko, I don’t know which one to tell you. You make such a compelling case for both legal and illegal.
I can’t help the show tunes The Phantom. I grew up watching musicals.
*Del starts singing showtunes*
Great now I need to find my “My fair lady”, “Guy’s and Dolls” and many Gene Kelly DVD’s. It will give me something to watch while I’m home sick 🙁
I am Schnappi, the little crocodile
I come from Egypt, at the river Nile
First, I was lying in an egg
Then I chewed my way out
(chorus)
schni schna schnappi
schnappi schnappi schnapp
schni schna schnappi
schnappi schnappi schnapp
I am Schnappi, the little crocodile
I have sharp teeth, and lots of them
I chew on everything I can get a hold on
I chew on everything because IÂ’m so good at it
(chorus)
I am Schnappi, the little crocodile
I like to chew on things, thatÂ’s my favorite game
I sneak up to my mom
And show her how good i can chew
(chorus)
I am Schnappi, the little crocodile
I will never get enough of chewing
I chew on daddyÂ’s leg
Then I go to sleep
(chorus) 2x
Oo ee, oo ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang
No problem with the show tunes.
But now that you bring up “Guys And Dolls”, I can’t help thinking about how Jerry Orbach just died.
Maybe a table dance to “luck be a lady tonight” will cheer me up.
I’ve never seen a table dance, but once I did see a shoefly.
Shoefly pie…….mmmmmmmmm.
Since we are singing Silly songs today:
JOEL: Let’s go, Gamera!
[music starts]
ALL: Gamera! Gamera!
Gamera is really neat.
Gamera is filled with meat.
We’ve been eating Gamera!
Shell
Teeth
Eyes
Flames
Claws
Breath
Scales
Fun!
TOM: Dr. Forrester is kind of a jerk,
And Frank is really dumb, too.
CROW: We have to take part in these lame experiments.
JOEL: But do we complain?
TOM: No!
JOEL: No!
CROW: Yes!
TOM: Huh?
So we hi-keeba all over the place–
JOEL: –And talk of a thousand wonderful days.
TOM: Everybody now!
ALL: Gamera is really sweet,
He is filled with turtle meat.
Now we have Commercial Sign!
I now have at least 5 Gamera MST3K episodes. The ones with Joel and that kid. And they’re in a TV control room, not an evil lair.
Nothing like the original tapes. “Better than 60 minutes”
And I once saw a barfly!
Sweet
MST3K Season 0
OK, so it was more than once, but … you know, I was drunk Irish Car Bombs a couple of those times, so I hardly remember them … therefore they don’t count.
Mmmm…. Irish Car Bombs… ughghghh…. ::drool::
7
That’s drunk ON Irish Car Bombs.
A couple of the times I saw the barfly.
That’s a weird word, “barfly”.
It looks like it should be pronounced “barf-lee” until you think about what it means. It’s like a really gross adverb, as in “He made his way barfly to the toilet stall.” Although, if it were an adverb, I suppose it would be “barfily.”
Barfly.
Isn’t that the name of the dog in “Family Circus”? (No, it’s NOT “Family Circle”, despite the fact that it’s very often presented in a circular format!)
Barf-lee, bar-fly, barf-lee, bar-fly.
Weird.
7
Dear Mr. Moltz,
Where the hell is the Crazy Apple Help Desk??? It’s been over a month!
Besides the great show tunes, it’s the only reason I visit your wonderfully beige site.
Sincerely,
mg
time flies like an arrow.
fruitflies like a banana.
Here a silly ditty that that could be CARS’ theme song!
Ding-Ding
Ding ding ding ding ding
Here comes my wagon, my wagon
I hear the keeper calling me
Ding ding ding ding ding
Here comes my wagon, my wagon
To take me back to the nutty factory
Like all the little nuts that fall
I’m just a little cracked, that’s all
Ding ding ding ding ding
Here comes my wagon, my kiddy car,
My Bus, WHEEEEE!
– Rally Club
So that’s why the page is so long today, it’s folks posting show tunes lyrics, MST3K transcripts and all manner of blah blah blah yackety schmackety, blah blah blah
(props to Taz!)
I believe the dog in “Family Circus” is named Barfy. Gross.
Show tunes are really dumb people. Get them out of your head. All but Bellidancer that is. My mom taught me that one, Bellidancer, and I think it is really cool.
Great. Now I can’t get that show tune out of my head. What’s next: Nude Ballmer pics?
UhhhDude, that’s just wrong. The worst show tune is thousands of times better than nude Ballmer pics. Your example is like going from snowballs to atomic bombs. Gross escalation… gross… gross… gross!
I’ve done a quick google and there don’t appear to be any so we’ll need to trick some up for you. I’ll get right on it.
Streetrabbit, that is crossing the line. BIG TIME crossing the line. You had better not do anything of the sort.