New PowerBooks, Death, Imminent.


Think Secret reports that current supplies of PowerBooks are drying up, indicating that the arrival of new PowerBooks is imminent.

More disturbingly, however, Tarot card reader Madame La Grunda reports that while new PowerBooks are coming soon, so is death.

“Ooh, this is not good,” said Madame La Grunda, upon turning over the Death card, shortly after turning over the PowerBook card.

“That was very odd to begin with as there isn’t supposed to be a PowerBook card at all… King of Cups, the Fool, those are standard. PowerBook? I don’t know. This is a new deck, though. But then for it to be followed immediately by death…”

Madame Grunda is a noted Tarot card reader as well as a local Mac tech support person in the Baltimore area.

“Yes, see, there are the new PowerBooks and there they are followed immediately by Death. Specific death, too. Not just vague ‘death’ like… oh, some time you’re going to die. I’m talking hot, flaming imminent death.”

Shaking her head sadly, she added “It looks rather painful.”

“Uh, well, maybe we should look at the tea leaves…” Madame Grunda suggested, attempting to lighten the mood.

Turning to the tea leaves she continued “Hmm, let’s just see what the tea leaves say is in store for you and… AAAAAAGH! Oh, my GOD! Holy CRAP! AAAAH! SWEET MOTHER OF GOD! Was that a CHAIN SAW?! Oh, my god, I’ve never in all my years seen a chain saw! See, the tea leaves just usually aren’t so specific… That’s just… that’s… wow.

“Whew. Uh…

“Well… good luck with that.

“But, uh, look! There are the PowerBooks. So… um…

“You might want to pre-order, though.”

58 thoughts on “New PowerBooks, Death, Imminent.”

  1. And I just bought a new Powerbook… Hmm.. Does the death thing apply to recently purchased items (like the upgrade plan for iLife 05)?

  2. Wow, second poster but fifth post. Somebody has no life and because of it he posts too much in the precious times of the post. Yes, you know what I mean. Evil Monkey is wasting perfectly good posting slots at the beginning of the line. Shame on you Evil Monkey.

  3. Yes I do want one and I will pre-order.

    Doesn’t it seem like CARS has been preoccupied with death? Do we know if the whole CARS staff came back from the battle royale? Where is Howard, or Masako, or Ugluk or even Chet? Is there a CARS coverup?

    Oh, seventh!!!

  4. Wait a sec. How does this work? Every time I get close to the top I drop because of the STI junk. Granted I don’t care, but I figured I might as well point out that it keeps happening. I might also point out that I wasn’t even trying.

  5. um…I thin Chet died in, like, 2003. around October.

    at least that’s when I think I killed him…

    oh, and Psyko, I guess this means you’re a fifth POSER!!!!

    Poser! Take off, eh? Poser!

  6. Oh yeah, no shame on you, just me. I forgot.

    BTW, about the article thing posted by Moltz. I don’t think there is much to worry about. The PowerBook Card is followed by the Death card because shortly after the new PowerBooks are shipped the death of something will come about, obviously. All that hogwash is misleading though. She makes it sound like we are going to die when that isn’t the fact of the matter at all. That is just signifying the death of the PC laptops. Its all good. (Plus that means you might be getting a home makeover Streetrabbit.)

  7. MacStansbury, I take no pleasure in saying this, but it must be done.

    *Deep Breath*

    Ok…Yoou sc-care mme-e.

    Man was that ever hard. At least it is off my chest now.

  8. did you see how I seamlessly transitioned from a snarky Buffy-type pun into an 80s reference to the McKenzie brothers?

    it was an homage.

    oh, and Mr. Monkey, it’s only awful when you stop answering yourself and you have to convince you to talk to yourself again. I once had to step in between me and myself to get me to talk to myself again.

    that was a long 2 weeks, I’ll tell ya!

    11th Post™!

  9. If there’s a G5 packed in the new Powerbook, then there definitely will be some death. I for one will be kicking myself so hard, my butt will explode.

  10. I bet Evil Monkey just got a new PowerBook G4, didn’t he? The link Moltz provided said that the likely upgrade would be from 1.33/1.5GHz G4 processors to 1.5/1.67GHz G4 processors.

  11. Vicesimus. CARS obsession with death is almost as irrational as my obsession with latin ordinals.

    I know I can be cured though.

  12. You think you are so special MacStansbury, don’t you? With your fancy little site link. Well I am going to put mine up too, just because. Even though I know that my site is nothing compared to yours, mine still has the “Blue BRAT” and the modded PowerBook 1400. So ha.

  13. Yes, we all think this is going to just be a speed bump, but Steve takes pleasure in getting us when we least suspect, so who can say?

    Also, how would any Apple rumor-related discussion be complete without mentioning Powerbook G5?

  14. oh saweet! I always wanted a 1400, but I never had the cash in college. I even got the issue of MacWorld with the special “book cover” that you could put in there to customize it. looks like that’s more than a cover.

    I miss my Lucy, a PB G3 500. fast enough to be fast, but not too big or beefy to make me self-conscious. she’s gone up into the great Service Center in the Sky now. I just hope that Jesus is having fun playing Eric’s Solitaire Sampler on her. and I hope I wiped that hard drive enough, or it’s eternal fire and poking for me.

  15. Yeah, I know I am good. Now I have a 1400 with a hole in the case. Not just any hole though. A hole that isn’t normally there and looks like an Apple logo. Weeeee.

    About your PB G3 500… Was it a Kanga? I want a Kanga very badly, dead or alive. I love those things.

    About the older sister. Yes, you probably have heard about an older sister, a very awesome older sister. The best you could ask for.

  16. Far more disturbing is the reading we got from our own Jenny (a.k.a. “Dame Contigua”). Besides a lecture on how “you actually can do *so* be a Medium (even with a silly name like “Dame Contigua”)” this is what she revealed unto us:

    “The new PowerBooks will be a great disappointment for all but the last warriors. Those who know them shall prevail. Geee! Five Warriors City Will Burn – Water Is Cool, Not Flat.”

    Yeah. Whatever. Sorry. I mean, she’s only 8 and my niece.

    a.k. (dec’d)

    P.S.: Any news on the “golden child” (you know, the One… Him, that will bring us peace, love, understanding (and a 25% market-share)? It was told he would be found by a lovable rascal (together with his gorgeous female sidekick), deep in the heart of… was it… Tibet? China?

    Man, that would *so* make a great movie!.

  17. Hey, I am the one and I am from Washington. You are going to have to wait a while before I can help you though because I don’t have a sidekick, female or not.

  18. Yes Huck, we know that.

    What? Stacked post? Where!? Show it to me I want to see it. Come one where is it Huck? I need to know.

  19. My powerbook’s always been dry, in fact I don’t think it’s ever been wet.

    BA BOOM.

    Aayeee thank you.

  20. Grunda! Grunda! Grunda! Grunda! Grunda!

    Grund!

    Ah, we’re getting sick of this gig. Come on, Moltz: write us into a new rumor, or we’re outta here!

  21. Are the PowerBooks coming in threes? The tarot card reader didn’t say. Or is that just death that comes in threes?

    And I agree. CARS seems mobidly fascinated by death of late. Maybe some lingering side effects from the battle with Tentaculus (which turned out not to be to the death!).

  22. I am willing to risk imminent chainsaw death to get a new powerbook, but my wife doesn’t understand.

    Can anyhone help???

    With the powerbook???

    With my wife?????

  23. The “Death” tarot card actually symbolizes change, as in the death of one phase as you enter another. So this means two things:

    1. PowerBook G5 are imminent; and

    2. Madame Grunda is a fake who can’t read the Tarot but just took all your money.

  24. There’s no such thing as an Evil Monkey. Personally I think it’s MacStansbury, then again he wouldn’t give up first post to a nom de plume.

    Does anyone uses nom de plumes here?

  25. Um we currently have an evil killer monkey infestation in the Mega-Post. The monkey’s even have “lasers”. It’s possible several escaped, but don’t worry we’ve sicked the kittens on them. So I expect the evil killer monkey problem to be taken care of shortly.

    On the PB G5 death, I believe what Madame La Grunda is foreseeing is a massive rise in Spontaneous Human Combustion after the PB G5 ships. The Police will be baffled for quite a while until someone notices the trend that all those who have combusted had recently bought a PB G5. Testing in Police labs will show that when the PB G5 is set on something else that generates heat like a lap a thermal build up occurs that is enough to liquify the PB and cause the person holding it to burst into flames. On a side note the PB G5 is still considered a better, more reliable laptop then most PC laptops.

  26. “Does anyone uses nom de plumes here?”

    Speaking as a former government official, I find it gratifying that today’s young people can be grammatically challenged in more than one language at the same time. And I’d like to add a shout out to America’s stunning diversity where an Evil Monkey can mix so readily with a former Monkee in a forum devoted to such inspired monkeyshines. Whatever monkeyshines is.

  27. Ooh! Ooh! I wanna get in on the Mac mod page link… umm… goings on, too!

    Checka checka checka my link.

    And Del, aren’t you worried that once the evil killer monkey infestation has been taken care of by the kittens, that there might be a monkey-killing kitten infestation? ‘Cause I kinda am. Especially if they get ahold of the evil killer monkeys’ “lasers.”

  28. Del, that was impressive, I bow down before you on that one. I must say that the Death card is just signifying the death of PC laptops though. It is true. I mean, when isn’t their death imminent? They just plain suck. They die left and right.

    No worries about the killer kitten spree danger. These kittens have been trained in the art of kitten-fu. They obey orders perfectly. Plus, Del is the one that feeds them, they don’t really like monkey meat.

  29. ***GEEK ALERT GEEK ALERT***

    I should take pictures of the Mac Mod I did. I have an original PB G4. The temperature sensor on the motherboard died. Instead of paying for a new Motherboard someone donated a similar model to me that had the screen crushed and the body pretty banged up. I made the swap. My PB G4 works happy happy, but I hated seeing another mac not being used just because it didn’t have a working screen or temperature sensor.

    So I removed the broken screen and I have the PB G4 hooked up to a monitor. I then hooked the motherboard fan to a thermistor and then the thermistor into a USB cable that plugs into the back USB port. I’ve threaded the cable through one of the vacant hinge holes and the thermistor I got was the exact size to fit in the hole nicely. USB power output is almost exactly the right voltage to run the motherboard fan so you don’t need any resistors. I usually keep the thermistor turned down so the machine doesn’t make a lot of noise (since the fan runs constantly) and it stays pretty cool. If I am doing anything that is VERY cpu intensive I can easily turn the knob on the back of the PB to speed up the fan. Works like a charm and I got a free PB out of the deal.

  30. Madame La Grunda should turn in her tarot license. The Death card means change, not literal death, although the change indicated could, I suppose, involve death. TeeVee and movies get that wrong all the time. They always have it show up, and, ooooooo, it’s the death card! Oooooo! All scary like and stuff! Feh…

    Nitpicking is fun. đŸ™‚

  31. iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiii i iiii iiiiii i iiii iii iiiii iiiiii i ii i ii

    (the sound of angry nits protesting harrassment by insensitive mobile food sources.)

  32. Spiro,

    You still kicking around chasing pencil-necked geeks? I thought you’d be roastin’ on the devil’s spit by now. You gotta pay for all those lies you told.

    And you know, you got the death card before I did! How did you slip death’s grip? And don’t tell me that even spooky psycic crap is subejct to statistical anomolies. Vietname was a statistical anomoly until the US got involved! (Don’t tell Bush, he might have a heart attack and die, and we can’t take him and me in the same place just yet.)

  33. John, while I think screening posters would be a very bad thing. ( I certainly wouldn’t want to be banned.) Letting dead presidents post comments is just wrong. (I know there is all sorts of money and/or rock groups puns that could be made here, but I’m serious damn it.) I don’t think you should let Nixon post until he posts a transcrpt of what was say during the missing 18 minutes.

  34. Evil Monkey, meet The Invisible Evil Boys’ Choir.

    The Invisible Evil Boys’ Choir, meet Evil Monkey.

    Question: do Evil Monkeys fling Evil Crap, or is that just regular non-evil feces flung in a delightfully evil manner?

    LOST PRIEST!!!!!

  35. Contrary to cryptic comments coming from certain nattering nabobs of nihilism I am still most certainly ‘still kicking around chasing pencil-necked geeks’ as you put it, ‘Richrad’. Unlike Grand Viser Cheney of the current demon regime, I held office in a time when the vice president not only had no effective role in the administration the entire job was deemed somewhat of joke (for example, my predecessor Hubert H. Humphrey).

    I am not guilty of the excesses of your administration but only of being a poor corrupt official.

  36. I don’t see anything wrong with letting dead presidents post, but I think they should be required to at least spell their own names correctly.

  37. I think that dead presidents need to stop trying to make there presidential reign look better by making people feel sorry for them being dead. I mean it really is a nasty trick. Especially when you think about what they must be doing to actually post and type.

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