Unemployed software engineer Rick Lawson, in a series of posts to forums on Ars Technica and other web sites, claims that he has achieved a perpetual speed machine by installing layer upon layer of operating system emulators.
Over a three week period during which he only took catnaps of 15 minutes at a time between clicking “OK” and “Next” buttons, Lawson continually installed emulators of OS X, OS 9, Linux, several different version of Windows, the Palm OS, the Newton OS, Be and even the Amiga one on top of the other on his TiVo. According to his currently unconfirmed results, the combination of operating systems eventually leads to ever-increasing performance improvements.
An excited and sleep-deprived Lawson said “It’s really slow at first, but once you get to about the 22nd iteration – just about where you start putting the Linux emulator on top of the Newton emulator on top of the Palm emulator again – things start reversing! The whole system starts speeding up! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!”
Lawson claims the speed increase from there is a linear progression as more layers of emulators are added.
“The implications are astounding!” Lawson exclaimed. “We can make computers run as fast as we want them to!”
Lawson digressed for five minutes while he watched the trail of his hand as he waved it back and forth in front of his face before continuing.
“When I got the OS X emulator loaded onto the Windows emulator for the 42nd time, Photoshop was doing a Gaussian blur on a 100 MB file in two seconds!
“Um… or it might have been GIMP on Linux. Or possibly Newton Works on the Newton. I can’t remember.”
Also, at some point, Lawson apparently gnawed his own foot off, believing it had been stuck in a trap.
“Turns out it was only tangled up in some power cords! Ha-ha! Aaaahh… boy, was that stupid! I probably needed a break right about then!”
Ars Technica’s John Siracusa, however, believes that Lawson’s results will quickly be proved to be nothing more than the product of a psychotic, sleep-deprived imagination.
Siracusa declined to comment on the record, other than circling his finger around his ear in the internationally-accepted symbol for “kookoo.”