31 Jan 05Mac Mini and iPod shuffle Outshine Lesser Announcements.


While the Mac Mini and the iPod shuffle took home the lion’s share of the press accolades for Macworld San Francisco announcements, Apple did announce several other items of note.

  • Pages, touted as a replacement for Apple Works, currently only replaces the presentation and word processing functionality of the venerable Works application. And the word processing functionality is really more like page layout. Also, it’s apparently only for people who are left handed. And are big fans of the late Frank Zappa. Oh, and you must also be a licensed zamboni driver.
  • Apple announced at Macworld that it has further expanded its iBook logic board repair program. Now anyone who ever even looked at an iBook is eligible for a new logic board. And a box of cookies.
  • Left in the shadow of the Mac Mini was the diminutive but appealing machine’s younger brother, Ricky. Sadly, where the Mac Mini is well-designed and priced to move, Ricky is spindly, wears glasses and is uncomfortable around members of the opposite sex. While the Mac Mini was a varsity letterman, Ricky was cut from swing choir. While the Mac Mini made the honor role, Ricky will spend the summer catching up on algebra. Poor Ricky.
  • The iPod shuffle was actually only one of three new iPods the company announced. Of the other two, however, one is really just some dried pasta glued together with Elmer’s and spray-painted white and the other is, according to members of the press who attended the invitation-only unveiling, an angry marmot. Which proceeded to bite its handlers and several members of the press. Um… no explanation on either, really. I hear the product development people have been under a lot of stress recently, so… uh… Well. I’m sure they’ll be quite popular.
  • Finally, the entire Power Mac G5 lineup was replaced by the exact same lineup of Power Mac G5s in a needless and expensive exercise including flyers, QuickTime VR demonstrations and several hundred “booth babes” suggestively caressing the same hardware Apple’s been selling for a year and a half.

Truthfully, I’ve been covering this company for several years now and I just don’t know how it stays in business.

53 Responses to “Mac Mini and iPod shuffle Outshine Lesser Announcements.”

  1. UhhhDude says:

    Dear John Moltz,

    Any chance you could post the latest CARS article a little closer to 11PM ET, so I could have a shot at Frost Pist? I do have a curfew, you know.

    If at all possible, that’s all I’m sayin’.

    And, as always, you’re doing a bang-up job and all.

    Sincerely,

    Honor Role Dropout

  2. Streetrabbit says:

    Alright!!! I found it.

    “5.46 billion iPod Socks” funny.

    But still $20.50 TWENTY DOLLARS FIFTY!!!!!

  3. Psyko says:

    Hi.

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