11 Apr 05More 24-Hour-A-Day Tiger Coverage.


While Mac users everywhere continue to wait with baited breath for the release of Tiger (NOW!), Crazy Apple Rumors Site has been busy collecting the information you need on how to pick up your copy as quickly and as efficiently as you can (NOW!).

  • Amazon now lists Tiger for just $3.99, if you buy it in conjunction with several vials of flesh-eating virus they’re trying to unload. So you just have to ask yourself… how badly do I want Tiger? Hmm?
  • Apple’s own web store shows Tiger “shipping now” for $120 if you squint really hard, hold your laptop sideways and truck like the doo-dah man.
  • That weird guy in the overcoat down on 3rd and Main says he has “a tiger in his pants” and rides are free.
  • The Missing Bite has Tiger t-shirts which, if you soak in cheap tequila and stuff into your mouth, will make the time between now and Tiger’s release pass a lot quicker. Or, better yet, just put the t-shirt on and pour the cheap tequila directly into your mouth. That’s what we do.
  • Victoria’s Secret has a line of tiger-skin patterned thongs that will make you forget about Mac OS X 10.4 completely.
  • There’s this dude who says he saw Tiger on the shelves at a CompUSA in Hoboken and he swears it was, like, $15, and they were throwing in a free iPod and stuff and Steve Jobs was there and he was making balloon animals for everyone and there was a mariachi band and there were caterers walking around with these little crab things that were soooooo good and you could kick them back with free beer. I’m totally serious, dude.
  • You could just get an Apple Developer Connection Select Membership for $500 and download the latest build of Tiger right now. And then you could just buy yourself a tricked-out 17-inch PowerBook with 2 GB of RAM and a 100 GB hard drive for $3,550. And then, why don’t you go out and have a nice lobster and champagne dinner after that to celebrate, hmm? You rich bastard. God, how I loathe you.

Stay tuned to this site for all the latest information on Tiger and Tiger-related news and news about things that just sound a vaguely like “Tiger”.

Like… um.. Geiger…

counters…

No Responses to “More 24-Hour-A-Day Tiger Coverage.”

  1. K.S. 2.7.1 says:

    first

  2. 2000guitars says:

    uh, yuh bahstid

  3. 2000guitars says:

    turd

    oh, so close

  4. 2000guitars says:

    I had fresh crab tonight, does that count?

  5. Ace Deuce says:

    Fifth?

  6. K.S. 2.7.2 says:

    anyone else still read the:

    http://www.crazyapplerumors.com/index_old.htm

    I do for one since I have already read all the articles on the current site, and it is interesting what CARS was like in the early years.

  7. OverclockedLemon says:

    .htm? .htm?! .HTM?!!?!

    You KNOW what platform uses “.htm” as the extension on htm-ELL files? Do you? DO YOU? WINDOWS! That’s what! I, for one, am shocked and appalled at this, this LAPSE in judgement on the part of the normall–uh, sometim–err, occasino–no… purported-to-possibly-at-some-point-in-the-time-line sane CARS staffers. Someone will pay for this!

  8. OverclockedLemon says:

    Oh yeah, ninth and stuff.

  9. Streetrabbit says:

    …as in Revenge of The.

    Will it be out before The Tigger Movie II though?

    …that is what we’re talking about isn’t it?

  10. OverclockedLemon says:

    Oh, fine, I’ve held out long enough.

    Eleventh!

  11. Exxon Valdez says:

    There’s a tiger in my tank.

    And I tell you, smuggling exotics is a sad way to make a living.

  12. Ace Deuce says:

    Okay, so I’m doing my taxes, and I wonder if Panther is tax deductible. Because if it isn’t, I don’t know if I can afford Tiger.

    Honestly, shouldn’t all cats be free, like Elsa? Free Tiger! Free Tiger! Free Tiger! Free Tiger!

  13. appletweak says:

    Don’t loathe us, just because we are born into privelege and have access to resources you only dream about. Tsk. We had Tiger like sixth months ago and even had Steve Jobs deliver it during a party (no YOUR invitation did not get lost…) in a huge tiger suit (we couldn’t get Schiller) and saying ‘It’s GREEEEEAAT!!!’. Oh, and if you didn’t hate us enough already, we’ve also already got G5 Powerbooks with 27″ screens and 8GB RAM that we have Apple interns carry around for us (on account of the Platinum finish [very shiny] and searing heat). I pratically crap caviar.

    Oh, and we got sexbots. Lot’s of ’em.

  14. Streetrabbit says:

    According to http://msn.foxsports.com/golf/story/3530990 and many others…Tiger is going to win more Majors than Jack Nicklaus.

    How can that be?

  15. Friday 4pm says:

    Hmm – rumor has it that OS 10.4 is actually code named Sabre-toothed Tiger – looks like we’ve got a long wait on our hands……..

  16. really! says:

    Tiger is OUT !!!!

  17. Spell Czech says:

    That’s “bated” breath. “Baited” breath would only be useful for catching fish, although if you ate the right kind of food, you could probably attract a Tiger.

    I’m just sayin’.

  18. njyo says:

    But NOW! Tiger IS here!

    http://www.apple.com/macosx/

    🙂

    _W

  19. Streetrabbit says:

    Nah there’re still 17 days to go….

  20. Admiral Kirk, desperately wanting to beam up says:

    Moltz! Jol yi choo! Pleeeeeeeease?

  21. MacMastery says:

    Nothing worse than when someone takes your joke and makes it real. :-/

  22. Streetrabbit says:

    But we’d never’ve known about it if it wasn’t for your “NOW!” link.

    Thanks CARS, Thanks John.

    You forced Apple’s hand, simple as that.

  23. Hobbs says:

    ‘NOW’ is …………April 29th!

    http://www.apple.com/macosx/

  24. Hobbs says:

    No tiger simulated fur on the retail box.

    Also heard today on BBC that the tiger is on the brink of extinction in many parts of India.

  25. Friday 4pm says:

    Is ‘then’ the new ‘now’?

  26. Streetrabbit says:

    Hey Spell Czech you picked up a malapropism!

    Is their know end two you’re linguistic prowess?

  27. Bellidancer says:

    WOW! Again CARS is first! At least this is the first place I read that announced Tiger’s release date. WooHoo!!!

    Of course that tells you CARS is the first place I go online in the morning. Worse, despite initial disbelief, I actually checked Apple’s site, all the time expecting the next post to say, “made you look!” And technically, it was a post not an article that contained the information. CARS readers are the best!!!!

    And, yes, I did order Tiger before finishing reading the comments.

  28. Guh! says:

    ITS ON THE FRONT PAGE ITS ON THE FRONT PAGE AIIGHGHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHABUAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

  29. Streetrabbit says:

    And now 24 Hour Tiger coverage will be replaced by 24 Hour Powerbook G5 coverage. Then 24 Hour Penguins Discovered In Underground Martian Cities coverage…

    CARS could corner every breaking news story and make others like CNN and The Washington Post obsolete.

  30. greenacres says:

    Woohoo! It’s great having a wife whose job is teaching 8th grade psychotic children. $69 and I bought the Tiger by the tail. LOVE that educational discount.

  31. John C. Randolph says:

    I’m just glad that I don’t have to keep saying “first half of the year” anymore..

    -jcr

  32. Anonymous says:

    Apple’s home page is black? Weird.

  33. Once you go black, you’ll never leave the sack.

    Apple’s home page is whack, I feel like I’m on crack.

    Thanks to Moltz’ link of check, I’ll have a tiger on my Mac!

    Neck. Ack. Tack. Jack. Mack. Flak. Pack. Rack. Maccywoodiedoo!!!

  34. If the educational discount doesn’t apply to you…

    You can currently get Tiger for a penny short of US $95 from Amazon.com after rebate:

    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?tag=theonestomac&path=tg/detail/-/B0002G71T0

    …or get a Family 5-Pack and save even more than the educational discount per computer (current price is US $149.99 after $50 rebate):

    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?tag=theonestomac&path=ASIN/B0007LW1MW

    Direct link to rebate page:

    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?tag=theonestomac&path=tg/stores/detail/-/software/B0002G71T0/rebate-info?m=ATVPDKIKX0DER

  35. Chris says:

    Tiger also rhymes with Fieger (the guy in The Knack, whose brother reprsented Dr. Kevorkian), and with “Eiger.” Oh, I should be sanctioned for that.

  36. Bill the Cat says:

    Oop. Ack. Tiger. Ptbpth!

  37. Dr. Whom says:

    Rod Steiger wants Tiger.

  38. Streetrabbit says:

    I just heard on the radio George W. has an iPod and his favourite tune is “My Sharona”

    http://nytimes.com/2005/04/11/politics/11letter.html

  39. Streetrabbit says:

    http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/news/archives/world_news/2005/04/12/how_should_bush_fill_his_ipod.html

    Here’s a better link.

    And April 29th is my daughter’s 3rd birthday. She’s pretty pissed at Jobs ruining her party. I wonder if I could get away with a shiny OS as a present for a 3 year old?

  40. Bellidancer says:

    I read about the President’s iPod on Drudge. Interesting selection. Some were obvious, others, like “My Sharona”, straight out of left field, (or “Centerfield”.) I know Job’s is a strong Dem, but I think the iTunes Music Store should have a President’s corner featuring the President’s playlist.

    Wait, on second thought I think it would be a bad idea. In an election year, ( and when isn’t it an election year), Apple would have to post all the candidates’ playlists. Then the contents of the playlist would become controversial. People would analyze the selections looking for deep meanings and policy trends. Teams of political operatives and consultants would select the songs with an eye on image and issues. The iTunes Music Store would be featured on political talk shows. (*shudder*)

    Baaad Idea. Please ignore this post!

  41. Jon says:

    Sorry about posting something applicable, but does anyone know if Apple will load Tiger onto the shipping computers starting the 29th, or if they’ll wait longer?