While Mac users everywhere continue to wait with baited breath for the release of Tiger (NOW!), Crazy Apple Rumors Site has been busy collecting the information you need on how to pick up your copy as quickly and as efficiently as you can (NOW!).
- Amazon now lists Tiger for just $3.99, if you buy it in conjunction with several vials of flesh-eating virus they’re trying to unload. So you just have to ask yourself… how badly do I want Tiger? Hmm?
- Apple’s own web store shows Tiger “shipping now” for $120 if you squint really hard, hold your laptop sideways and truck like the doo-dah man.
- That weird guy in the overcoat down on 3rd and Main says he has “a tiger in his pants” and rides are free.
- The Missing Bite has Tiger t-shirts which, if you soak in cheap tequila and stuff into your mouth, will make the time between now and Tiger’s release pass a lot quicker. Or, better yet, just put the t-shirt on and pour the cheap tequila directly into your mouth. That’s what we do.
- Victoria’s Secret has a line of tiger-skin patterned thongs that will make you forget about Mac OS X 10.4 completely.
- There’s this dude who says he saw Tiger on the shelves at a CompUSA in Hoboken and he swears it was, like, $15, and they were throwing in a free iPod and stuff and Steve Jobs was there and he was making balloon animals for everyone and there was a mariachi band and there were caterers walking around with these little crab things that were soooooo good and you could kick them back with free beer. I’m totally serious, dude.
- You could just get an Apple Developer Connection Select Membership for $500 and download the latest build of Tiger right now. And then you could just buy yourself a tricked-out 17-inch PowerBook with 2 GB of RAM and a 100 GB hard drive for $3,550. And then, why don’t you go out and have a nice lobster and champagne dinner after that to celebrate, hmm? You rich bastard. God, how I loathe you.
Stay tuned to this site for all the latest information on Tiger and Tiger-related news and news about things that just sound a vaguely like “Tiger”.
Like… um.. Geiger…
counters…