Special Feature: Crazy Apple Personal Ads.

As a community service to the Mac community, Crazy Apple Rumors Site preempts this week’s edition of the Help Desk to bring you Crazy Apple Personal Ads. Yes, Mac lovers need love too, and they only want it from other Mac users.

OK, yes, some of you are only interested in sex.

Me: 30-something, recent Tiger purchaser looking to upgrade but afraid of data loss. Been hurt b4. Experienced, but need a soft touch. You: 28-42, sensitive, gentle, but equipped with large, throbbing, backup drive and know how to plug it into my firmware. Let’s meet 4 coffee, talk, light file sharing and c were it goes. Will u b the 1 2 satisfy my needs? Mailbox 302.

Bleeding edge upgrade junkie seeks fulfillment of Madonna/whore complex. Multiple machine user but ready 2 settle down with right Mac-using gal. Me: 42-YO, no prior LTRs, but many, many STRs. Some on the same day. Power Mac G5 over-clocked, but virus-free. Frequently distracted by shiny objects. You: Power-user, but no know-it-alls. Strong personality, but not too strong. Sophisticated, but down-to-earth. Dreamer with feet on the ground. A wildcat in the sack with a filthy mouth at the right moment, but able 2 spend Sundays at church pancake breakfast with my 80-YO mother and not raise eyebrows. Age negotiable, but 20-something bi-curious with big tits a +. Mailbox 448.

GWM (gay white Mac-user), 30-something, looking for same. Me: not ripped, but in good shape. UB same. Me: interested in graphics, Garage Band and The Office. UB same. Me: 5′ 11′ with blonde hair. UB same. Me: sarcastic sense of humor but positive outlook on life with Zoroastrian belief system and double-jointed thumbs. UB same. Me: once bitten by small schnauzer on right ankle. UB same.

Actually, you know what? Forget it. I’ll just look in the mirror and take care of the rest myself.

Serious Mac gamer looking for assistance in breeding more Mac gamers to increase demand 4 Mac games. Me: interested in gaming. You: Female. Mailbox 627.

Oh, and 20-something bi-curious with big tits a +.