09 Jun 05Macintosh Community Freaks Out.


As only they can do, Macintosh users from all walks of life are completely freaking out at the news that Apple is switching to processors from Intel.

From San Diego to Bangor and all across the globe, some users dwelt on fantastic doomsday scenarios while others postulated extreme flights of performance fancy.

The New York Times‘ David Pogue intoned morbidly “All is dark now. No light escapes the black hole of our future. We are lost, forever lost. Dark defiler, stealer of innocence, love and beauty, thy name is… Mactel.”

Pogue’s lugubrious take on the situation was shared by most, but was in sharp contrast to a minority opinion characterized by the giddy outlook of the Wall Street Journal‘s Walt Mossberg.

“PowerMacs with 3.6 GHz Xeon processors running Mac OS X 10.4 may very well lead mankind into a new era of truth and enlightenment,” Mossberg claimed. “It’s quite possible that the combination will be so glorious that users will ascend to a higher state of being, such as Zen satori, or the state of perfect knowledge the Sufis claim to attain by practicing dhikr.

“At the very least,” Mossberg concluded, “it should give the user a tremendous boner.”

Numerous Mac users actually reported vacillating back and forth between Pogue and Mossberg’s assessments of the situation.

38-year-old Mac user Matt Kulick of Los Angeles, Calif., said “Earlier today I was anti-Intel. But I had a nap this afternoon and when I woke up I was pro-Intel. Yesterday the same thing happened but the other way around.”

Kulick said that his doctor prescribed medication to reduce the violence of his Mac-on-Intel opinion swings.

“The doctor said I had ‘multiple opinion disorder’ and gave me a prescription for MODoff, made by the fine people at Glaxo. Now I really don’t care what processor the Mac runs on, as long as I can use OS X.”

Shares of Glaxo, not coincidentally, were up on Apple’s announcement Monday.

No Responses to “Macintosh Community Freaks Out.”

  1. silas says:

    second

  2. K.S. 3.0.9.5 says:

    yay three!

  3. beatljuice says:

    Fourth with a boner!

  4. Anonymous says:

    Ohhh. I was so close that time.

    Anyway. I’m not so concerner about the whole Mactel situation, more the situation that developers might stop developing for OS X and just develop for windows saying that our new found x86 performance is good enough that they don’t need to develop for us anymore.

  5. What Tha!!! says:

    Sixth! OMG, I AM somebody!

  6. John Moltz says:

    Sounds like someone’s been reading Jerry Kindall’s blog.

    Look, the whole point of the Mac is that “good enough” is not, in fact, good enough. You can no more have the Macintosh experience running OS X on some generic hardware than you can running Windows on a PowerMac. Remember Word 6? If they send us crap, send it back.

  7. Streetrabbit says:

    We know what you mean John.

    We know you’re trying to bump 11.

  8. Streetrabbit says:

    Is PoisedNoise around today?

  9. appletweak says:

    booyah!

  10. appletweak says:

    ah crap, i forgot streetrabit was setting up poisednoise. sorry. *slinks away sheepishly*

    Geez, how disappointing to score the coveted 11 and feel guitly. it’s this whole Intel thing, i’m sure of it.

  11. The moral of the story is: naps are a good thing.

  12. jinzo012 says:

    I really do have a boner isn’t that somthing?

  13. jinzo012 says:

    ……and, I;m using a 1.7 GHz Powerbook

    can’t wait to see what a 3.7 GHz PowerMac will do!

  14. Bonermaster 6000 says:

    I have a dual 2.5 metre boner and can’t wait to see what a 3.7 metre boner can do!

  15. PoisedNoise says:

    Damnit – that was too early in the morning. Just got to computer now….

    …my question to Moltz is, were you referring to Bangor, Maine (a total dump) or Bangor, Wales (a total dump)?

  16. The Invisible Evil Boys' Choir says:

    FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK!

    FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK! FREAK!

  17. PoisedNoise says:

    …either way it’s an odd place to choose.

  18. jinzo012 says:

    Keep on Freakin’ Keep on

  19. Streetrabbit says:

    Bangor is also a suburb of Sydney. Quite leafy.

    Can I request that nobody post any reference to the Fiddler’s Dram song “Day Trip to Bangor”? You know the one:

    Didn’t we have a lovely time

    The day we went to Bangor

    A beautiful day, we had lunch on the way

    And all for under a pound, you know

    That on the way back I cuddled with Jack

    And we opened a bottle of cider

    Singing a few of our favourite songs

    As the wheels went around

    That would be too much, nobody needs reminded of that.

  20. Starmax4ever says:

    Basically I’ll say this…..

    If The switch to intel is going to be a success,

    then apple had better get with the program and realize it is

    in competion with Microsoft OS and not Dell or HP.

    Other wise, we will be holding the bag while Mr. Jobs sneaks

    out the back door with our dirty underwear and we’re standing

    in our own fecies.

  21. jinzo012 says:

    Boner went away. I can finally go to sleep

  22. 2000guitars says:

    origin of the fecies–by darwin

    triple entendre, thank you I’ll be here all week….

  23. Huck says:

    Starmax, my feces can spell better than you.

  24. Streetrabbit says:

    Mine spell better than anyones.

    faeces.

    *replace smell with spell for wit and hilarity, that’s what the instructions on the box said*

    Uhmm…I think Fiddler’s Dram was a better direction than fAeces.

    Do you recall the thrill of it all

    As we walked along the seafront

    Then on the sand we heard a brass band

    That made a tiddly tum ta ra ra

    Elsie and me had one cup of tea

    Then we took a paddling boat out

    Thrashing away as we sailed round the bay

    As the wheels went around

  25. Dingle Barry says:

    Speaking of faeces, I should go buy some Glaxo stock.

  26. Dingle Barry says:

    oh yeah, make that TWENTY SEVEN for me!!!!!

    (and 28)

  27. Carl says:

    Commonwealth spelling sucks. I’ll let the Queen tell me how to spell right after she eats my *feces*.

  28. The Queen says:

    Mmmmmm, faeces.

  29. iconmaster says:

    Can we just crop-dust the entire Mac community with MODoff right now?

  30. turd says:

    Its actually fecal-matter crapface……

  31. Abe Lincolnlogski says:

    Will it still be a PowerBook or a PowerMac?

    I don’t think they will go with IntelBook or IntelMac, what will the new names be for the Pro Line of products???

    How about GigaMac and Gigabook, or PentaMac and PentaBook.

    Those ideas really suck.

    Help!!!!! Need new good names !!!!!!!!!

  32. Power says:

    The name PowerBook predates the PowerPC, and will probably outlive it.

  33. scared monster says:

    I’m just getting bored with all the intel thingie. I’m already head-shaved, blue-painted and black dressed, singing:

    Tam Tam TaTam

    Cum’on ev’rybody, sing along!

    Tam Tam TaTam

    All together now!

    Tam Tam TaTam

    Tam Tam TaTam

    Hey!

    Who’s that guy with the fire-gun?

  34. Bellidancer says:

    The sky is falling… and evil grows when good compromises. Apple has clasped an asp to its breast…

    Wow! the Yonah sure can fly!!!! This is going to be great!

    Intel in Macs… rat feces in a cake… mold and worms corrupting a shiny apple…

    Oh boy, we’ll be able to use PC video cards!! And pay half what we do now!!!

    Ugly chime… slimy code… stupid commercials…

    Neato! Intel has the same number of letters as Apple!

    Death!

    LIFE!

    AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

    ( My emotions are as stable as a bowl of jello in a paint can shaker. Can any of our Canadian friends get us some MODoff cheap? I think I need a truck load.)

    (And let’s give people a break on the spelling. After all, the Spell Czech has the franchise on spell corrections, and he (she?) hasn’t chimed in yet.)

  35. scared monster says:

    That was 35?

    This is 36.

  36. Ace Deuce says:

    I was planning to post a message, but then realized that I’ve run out of disinfectant. So…

    NO POST FOR YOU!

  37. Abe Lincolnlogski says:

    Dear Power,

    The First PowerBook was the 1400 and it used the 603 PowerPC chip. Apple has had previous laptops, but not previous PowerBooks.

    Does anyone know of a PowerBook or PowerMac that doesn’t use a PowerPC Chip? What Model number?

  38. Bellidancer says:

    Abe, the Powerbook 100, Powerbook 140 and Powerbook 170 all were introduced in 1991. Here are the specs on the PB100.

    introduced 1991.10.21 at $2,500; discontinued 1992.08.03

    requires System 6.0.8L to 7.5.5

    CPU: 16 MHz 68HC000

    RAM: 2 MB, expandable to 8 MB using a special 100ns display: 9″ 1-bit 640 x 400 passive-matrix

    20 MB or 40 MB hard drive standard

    Size (HxWxD): 1.8″ x 11″ x 8.5″

    weight: 5.1 pounds

    Wow. It ran at .016 ghz!!! Two (count ’em 2!!) megs of memory and TWENTY MEGABYTES of hard drive storage!

    I still have one somewhere around here in a closet. It was a sweet machine (@ the time!)

    The only previous mobile(?) Mac was the 15 pound luggable Mac Portable. I think the original Mac were about the same weight but they of course didn’t have a battery so can be considered mobiles.

  39. Derringer says:

    Come on Abe, don’t you remember the old PowerBook 100? Only the Portable wasn’t a PowerBook…

  40. Abe Lincolnlogski says:

    I stand both very tall and corrected.

    My apologies to all.

    I looked up PowerBooks on Lowendmac.com, and the first model they mention was the 1400. I guess I need to read my sources a little closer.

  41. PowerBook 100 says:

    what a n00b……

  42. shawk says:

    Eight socket Itanium 2 low voltage dual core with E8870 chip set. It will run OSX. You want it.

  43. scared monster says:

    tam tam tamtam

    Tamtam atm atm

    aathhm atthmmm

    ahhhrrrrhhh ahhhrhh

    rrrrrhhhhhhhhh

    Wow. That’s a comment.

  44. Del says:

    Download Mactracker from Versiontracker.

    http://www.versiontracker.com/dyn/moreinfo/macosx/10816

    A very easy to use database of all Mac models.

    It’s nifty!

  45. Bellidancer says:

    That PB100, so cheeky!

  46. blank says:

    Several thoughts:

    “Glaxo” sounds like it should be another one of those demon-god things.

    Where’s Thor? Did he imbibe a little too much at the WWDC beer bash?

    Oh, and I have a PowerBook 180. Packing a mighty 68030 @ 33 MHz, a whopping 14 MB RAM, and a humongous 120 MB h/d it was a desktop replacement, back in the day. Way pre-PPC.

  47. jinzo012 says:

    **READ**

    I got an idea make a….”Crazy Microsoft Rumors Site!” CMRS

  48. UhhhDude says:

    I think Paul Thurott has that covered. Him, and his readership which. I believe, numbers in the teens.