We regret to inform you that the Cyber-Apocalypse is on, bitches.

As you know, Crazy Apple Rumors Site has always been the go-to site for news about the Cyber-Apocalypse, detailed interviews with the major players in the Cyber-Apocalypse, their stats and scouting reports, as well as pictures of large-breasted women languidly eating Slim Jims.

So let’s take a look at where we stand on the ol’ Cyber-Apocalypse scorecard, shall we?

Well, first there was the first sign, back in October of 2002.

And then there was the second sign in June of 2003.

And since then, two years running now, we’ve been waiting for the third and last sign. Eee-yup. Just a-waitin’. Sittin’ around… on the porch…


And now we see that…

  • A firm is offering an Intel upgrade for the G4 Cube, so you can run Windows on your… on your Cube. That’s unnatural.
  • Pictures have been leaked of Mac OS X running on… [shudder]a Dell laptop
  • Steve Jobs has been possessed by angry poltergeists (no link available)

Frankly, we’re not even sure which of these is the actual third sign. But, crap, just look at them. One of them has to be it. I’m actually leaning toward the first one.

But, really, they’re all good. If by “good” you mean “evil.”

Now, just because the third sign has come, I don’t want to see you all go running out into the street and rending your garments and shaking your fists into a rain-filled sky while screaming “NOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Because that’s my job. I called it, like, three years ago. Get your own damn Cyber-Apocalypse job. I hear there are still plenty of openings in getting eviscerated.

Anyway, I talked with the Entity about this and he said that just because the third sign has come, doesn’t mean the actual Cyber-Apocalypse is coming tomorrow.

Partly because tomorrow there’s apparently a scheduling conflict.

But the third sign just means there aren’t going to be any more warning signs.