16 Jun 05No Help Desk Tomorrow

The Entity’s taking us to a baseball game.

But please feel free to discuss your views on the designated hitter rule in the comments.

No Responses to “No Help Desk Tomorrow”

  1. K.S. says:

    yo first

  2. Streetrabbit says:

    Back off Bellidancer. First.

    What’s a hitter?

  3. four says:

    Don’t like it. National League guy all the way. It’s part of the strategy, for better or worse, to deal with the pitcher… and it wouldn’t hurt for some pitchers to learn how to hit.

  4. Elwood says:


  5. PoisedNoise says:

    BASEBALL? Surely at this time of year it’ll be pretty boring going to a baseball game: they’ll only just be getting into the swing of things.

    Thankyou, thankyou. I’m here all week. 🙂

    I’d recommend the opening week of Wimbledon instead.

  6. Streetrabbit says:

    OK, I’ve just educated myself on designated hitter (Holy MOF) I’d have to say I’m against it/them.

    In the true game played with a ball and a bat, cricket, there is nothing funnier than watching a fast bowler try to hit a 150kph bouncer.

  7. Barry White says:

    Hey baby, the magic 8! Verrry sexy…

  8. Bellidancer says:


    I was suckered!

    I took my eyes off the prize!

    This is not fair… but I know life isn’t fair.

    The AL is not real baseball. But then my team is not really a professional team right now (Giants). Boy, lose one giant egoed, illegal hormone swilling, super star and your whole season goes down the drain. This unrealistic presecution of our best athletes has got to stop. It is no one business but their own what chemicals and drugs they use to compete at the levels they do. In fact I say, let ANYTHING go. Drugs, blood transfusions, genetic enhancements, and full out cyborg technology… Bring It On!

  9. Bellidancer says:

    Well if I can’t have another first, then eleventh will do.

  10. Bellidancer says:


  11. Always the Bridesmaid never the 11th says:

    Dang it! You counter-pumper, you! 12th will have to do, I suppose. Next time…

  12. Bellidancer says:

    Well, I am going to beat a hasty retreat and hide out until the dust settles.

  13. Ace Deuce says:

    Sorry, the Mariners are toast.


  14. komaoma says:

    It’s Condeferation Cup time for the rest of the world anyway! 😀

  15. pwrbkdude says:

    Ortiz… David Ortiz.

  16. sebastian says:

    From the official rules of Major League Baseball:

    “Baseball is a game between two teams of nine players each […]”

    (Section 1.01)

    What more do you have to say? Watching a DH try to play first is pretty funny. I don’t know if David Ortiz caught a single foul pop when the Red Sox were at Wrigley. Looked to me as if Bellhorn always had to run over. I like it when pitchers hit and drive in runs. A Greg Maddux homer is a thing of beauty and rarity. Sergio Mitre drove in one and scored the other run when he beat the Blue Jays.

    At least Carlos Zambrano won’t be able to hurt his toe running the bases tonight, but that doesn’t make the DH any less of an abomination.

    Go Cubs!

  17. arizona says:

    San Diego… LA… back off! Time for AZ to slide back into first place. D’backs are having a decent year again… while Randy Johnson has gone to the Yankees (where he can have a designated hitter!) and the Yankees are Tankees …! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Last year, the D’backs just sucked.

  18. Del says:

    Ok I have my Segway Where is the Cyber-Appocolypse meeting for the 4 horsemen?

    I have to say though I think the horses were a better idea. This thing is SLOW!! plus I asked it to bite, kick, and trample the paper boy and all it did was bump into him a couple of times. I mean the kid laughed! Who’s gonna take us seriously on these pieces of junk.

    At least give me an iFlame or have mounting brackets for tactical kittens.

  19. Jason Young says:

    DH: Completely opposed to it.

    Of course, I also long for cyberdog again.

    And natural grass only.

    Interpret that as you will.

  20. designated hitter says:

    I really don’t think designated hitters should be allowed in comments.

  21. Steve Jobs says:

    Baseball? BASEBALL?

    My sport is curling. Yep, that game with the big rocks and brooms. You know, big rocks are something I can relate to. Like I have…you know…well, this is a family forum, so I won’t say it.


    It’s NOT a family forum?

    Then why are my kids always posting here?

    Honey! That firewall needs tweaking again! Call up Avie and get him over here! Thanks hun…

    Okay, where was I? Oh yeah, curling. I’m gonna sponsor a Silicon Valley curling and venture capital tournament. And I want all of you there. As long as there’s no more warnings to watch for of the coming cyberapocalypse, we might as well be curling with my bud Larry “Stone cold Oracle is bulletroof” Ellison and Phil “The Broom” Schiller.

    Shawn King will provide commentary, and his lovely fianceé Leesa will bring the Jack Daniels. And when I say JD, I mean that hot shirt she wears. Hubba hubba…

  22. Red Lantern, Dead Battery says:

    I like the designated hitter rule. One thing I CANNOT ABIDE is how people get all liquored up and run the bases. I think I speak for all right-thinking people (like myself) when I say that NOTHING IS WORSE THAN THAT. NOTHING! NOT EVEN TERRORISM. OR COMMUNISM. OR TERRORISTIC COMMUNISTS. OR PEOPLE WHO TALK BACK TO THE MOVIE.

    Well, maybe not that last one. Still, with the designated hitter rule, there’s at least one guy who ain’t drunk.

    Whadya mean, “None of them are drunk?” That’s stupid. If they aren’t drunk, why do they play like they do?

  23. Elastigirl says:

    We were going to give curling a try, but Frozone never showed up. He was s’posed to bring the ice.

  24. Louzer says:

    Ah, designated hitters suck. If you want to beat someone up, you should be forced to hit them yourself. Don’t go hiring vinnie down the street to punch a guys lights out!

    Oh, you’re talking baseball? Well, I’ll just say this. People always complain about how a DH only plays half a game, but have you seen some of those hitters try to play the field? Its a joke. And pitchers? Everytime the 8th-placed hitter is up and two outs, all you hear is how he needs to get a hit so the pitcher won’t start off the next inning. And what’s the deal with fielding. Any pop-up in the infield, the pitcher is basically pushed under the pitchers mound like its a hand grenade!

    And can anyone say that Jason “no glove, no bat” Giambi even plays half the game?

  25. Chris says:

    All I know is that the Sox kicked the Cardinals’ ass in the World Series last year, DH or no DH.

  26. Chris says:

    Can we talk about the Downing Street Memo now?

  27. SQ3 says:

    I like the DH, but only for curling.

  28. John Moltz says:

    The Mariners are toast, the Mets are toast, we’re going anyway.

    For me it can’t fail. The Mets were my team growing up and the Mariners are now. Neither of them is going anywhere this year so it doesn’t matter who wins!

    Plus I hear they have this “beer” substance I’ve been hearing a lot about at Safeco Field. I believe I shall try eight or nine glasses of it.

    And, Chris, the subject is the Designated Hitter Rule, not the Downing Street Memo (although you can discuss lesbian ninjas any time).

    I, personally, am opposed to the designated hitter, although – because it is a valid AL rule – I believe Edgar Martinez should be allowed into the Hall of Fame.

  29. Tony Blair says:

    Lancashire’s promotion bid was back on track as they got through a nervous run chase to post their third win of the season with a single wicket to spare.

    Opponents Derbyshire, who began their second innings 50 runs behind, fell victim to Muttiah Muralitharan.

    The brilliant Sri Lankan took 6-50 to bundle out the hosts for 185, leaving Lancashire needing 136 to win.

    But from a good position of 104-4, Lancashire collapsed horribly before squeaking home late on day three.

    Iain Sutcliffe (62 not out) lacked support throughout the run chase as Jon Moss and Ian Hunter shared seven wickets.

    Australians Brad Hodge and Stuart Law were dismissed for single-figure scores and when James Anderson fell to Moss for a duck five runs were still needed.

    But Muralitharan showed nerves of steel to score four of those, including the winning single, to break Derbyshire’s hearts.

  30. psih says:


  31. UhhhDude says:

    When we were kids my parents used designated hitters. Kinda sucked when your neighbor down the street was brought in to administer the Beat-Down Of The Day(TM).

    I think you can gather from that where I stand on the Designated Hitter.

    I read the Downing Street Memo. Nothing in THERE about a Designated Hitter…

  32. Designated Hitler says:

    I’m available for putsches, general mayhem and total global domination. However, I’m a National League fan, so go figure.

  33. Face it Moltz: it’s war now between us.

    Sure your wuss boys crushed my Mets like a bunch of overpaid IBM chip engineers at a MacWorld convention last night. And yes, my team totally, totally sucks and is going to build a new ballpark that looks like a Costco with seats.

    But Pedro is pitching tonight. BWahahahahahahah.

    Jaime Moyer? You have to be kidding me.

    And the DH sucks.

  34. John Moltz says:

    Yes, Pedro against Franklin. A guy the Ms can’t score off of against a guy they can’t seem to give any run support. Not a good combination for the Ms. They should probably just forfeit.

    Hey, shut up about Moyer. He’s like 42 and he’s like 6 and 1, just got his 1000th win and your boys (used to be my boys) did wonders for his ERA.

    My only regret was not getting to see Mike Cameron again. After the Ms swept the Sox in the playoffs a few years back, Mike was the only player to run around the field and interact with the crowd. All the “veterans” went into the clubhouse.

  35. George Steinbrenner says:

    I think the DH rule should be amended to allow any player to be substituted for instead of just pitchers. Oh, sure, nobody but pitchers would be DHed anyway, but it would be fairer this way. Oh, by the way, I am in fact Satan in disguise. C’mon, didn’t you figure that out when I announced that I was getting rid of Yankee Stadium, the only good thing the Yankees have going for them?

  36. tooth says:

    Obviously, the comprehensive solution will be Designated Owners, Designated General Managers, and Designated Stadiums (Stadia)… perhaps with Bluetooth® connectivity (and wireless online hot dog and beer ordering). Yeah… that’s the ticket.

  37. jinzo012 says:

    There should be a Apple league and a Microsoft league


  38. casey says:

    Red teams…. blue teams……… shirts/skins….. farm system with Linux… oldtimers’ league with Amiga…..

  39. prevert tracker says:

    what’s up with perversiontracker?


  40. Del says:

    Ok over the weekend I got the tactical kitten brackets and an iFlame mounted on my Segway. I’m very impressed with the initial results and I believe the testing phase to be fully complete.

    By the way if anyone like ooh say the FBI comes asking where I was this weekend you’ll vouch that I was here right? Cuz if you didn’t it would make the kittens angry and we don’t want to make the kittens angry.

  41. deep throat says:

    Del was right here.

    (I’ve gotcher Del… right here.)

  42. Ace Deuce says:

    I hear Dean Kamen has a special key that lets the Segway attain the maximum 42 MPH — almost as fast as the fastest race horse. The Four Segway Riders of the Cyber-Apocalypse need that key or they will look pretty pathetic. They might have to reconsider and mount Harleys instead.

  43. Del says:

    I do not believe my kitten (Harley) would like that.

    Look isn’t she cute!


  44. Ace Deuce says:

    Oops. It was not my intent to impugn the honor of your kitten. So, how about a Vespa? A Schwinn? Radio Flyer?

    There’s that hoverboard from “Back to the Future.”

    No? I give up. Good luck on your apocalyptic ride.

  45. Del says:

    How about Jet powered Cyber-Horses?

  46. Designated Commenter says:

    Moltzy says, “Plus I hear they have this “beer” substance I’ve been hearing a lot about at Safeco Field. I believe I shall try eight or nine glasses of it.”

    Perhaps the topic should have been Designated Driver instead.

  47. Coffin Dodger says:

    Might be late, but over here in the U.K., we thought “designated hitter” was a term related to American boxers fighting our “designated hit”

  48. Coffin Dodger says:

    Might be late, but over here in the U.K., we thought “designated hitter” was a term related to American boxers fighting our “designated hit”