Capitalizing on the “Pimp My…” trend sweeping the nation (which surely jumped the shark months ago if we’re doing it), Crazy Apple Rumors Site is proud to announce:
Pimp My Apple Executive!
Yes, it’s Pimp My Apple Executive!
Send us your digitally altered photo of your favorite – or least favorite, or one you don’t really have feelings about one way or the other – Apple executive for a chance to win medium-sized prizes!
Now, your Apple executive need not be depicted as a pimp, although pimp envisionings will certainly be accepted. But let’s think outside the box here.
What would Jon Rubinstein look like with gigantic metal arms that can crush tanks like soft pastries?
What would Phil Schiller look like with hockey sticks for feet and a battery of anti-aircraft laser turrets mounted on his shoulders?
What would Nancy Heinen look like as a vicious killer cyborg with, um, lasers and, um, metal arms… and razor blades that shoot out of her… uh… mouth… or something…
They… don’t all have to have a destructive element to them. I just think they’d be cooler if they did.
Prizes shall be awarded thusly:
First Prize: A free license to Mail Factory by BeLight Software (a $39.95 value that the September 2005 issue of Macworld magazine lists as one of its Mac Gems), a $10 (or cheapest local iTMS equivalent) gift certificate to the iTunes Music Store, a Crazy Apple Rumors Site bumper sticker and ten minutes of heavy petting with Apple maven Andy Ihnatko (ten minutes of heavy petting with Andy Ihnatko not included).
Second Prize: A $10 gift certificate to the iTunes Music Store, a Crazy Apple Rumors Site bumper sticker and five minutes of groping in the dark with former Apple CEO Gil Amelio (five minutes of groping in the dark with former Apple CEO Gil Amelio not included).
Third Prize (assuming we get more than two entries…): A Crazy Apple Rumors Site bumper sticker and three minutes of phone sex with former Apple executive Ellen Hancock (three minutes of phone sex with former Apple executive Ellen Hancock not included).
Entries will by judged by a panel including myself, at least one Apple employee… maybe… possibly some luminary of the Mac community… and, um, a dog. Maybe an energy being. Neanderthal. Joe Piscopo. Something like that.
Send your entries in JPG or PNG format via the “Email us” link on the upper right and…
What?
What do you mean, “your or my upper right”?
Honestly.
Entries must be received by 12 midnight PST on Wednesday, August 10th. Winners will be announced Friday, August 12th. Friends and family of Crazy Apple Rumors Site are not eligible. Void where prohibited by law. Void where prohibited by local tribal custom.
Good luck!