[As we are currently working on the complex process of judging each entry in the Pimp My Apple Executive Contest – which, not surprisingly, involves a lot of liquor – today’s post will be a list story. Now, some people seem to love the list stories and some people seem to hate them. Look, it’s not like we can just decide when information comes to us in list format or something. Sheesh. You know, I sometimes think many of you don’t understand how the rumor business works. It’s very complicated. See, we receive emails from people who may or may not have actual knowledge of things pertaining to Apple that are not broadly known by the general public. We then compile these emails into something vaguely resembling a journalistic format.
And that’s pretty much it.
OK, so it’s not that complicated. But I’d like to see you do it, monkey.
Stupid monkey. With your… your stupid little fez hat and… and… stupid vest… and… stupid organ grinder.
Who are you to judge us?
Stupid. You’re stupid! I hate you!]
A story we published recently mentioned the Mighty Mouse was created as a skunk works project within Apple. First of all, to some of our more confused readers who emailed us asking, no, “skunk works” does not mean the project involved actual skunks! Ha-ha!
Except for the project working on scented iPod socks.
No, a skunk works project just means one that’s under the radar and is possibly being funded from either time volunteered or resources stolen from officially sanctioned projects.
So, let’s take a look at them, shall we? What hot, as yet unattainable products are Apple engineers spending their nights developing?
- An iPod the size of a Buick.
- Jon Rubinstein’s electric acid trip and summer of free love in a square box.
- Sneaking into houses and turning Flower Power and Dalmatian iMacs into regular iMacs, and leaving a note of apology for ever selling them in the first place.
- An all-white iPod U2.
- A version of OS X that runs on nothing. By which I mean everything. Think about that.
- A round Cinema Display. Which is cool, because it’s round.
- iPod shoes.
Actually, there’s a lot more than that.
But those are all the emails we got.