The Mega-Post is Dead


LONG LIVE THE MEGA-POST!

You should be able to view it again, but Masako had to shut off the comments at…

3821.

She had to delete one spam comment to get it viewable again (link).

Please, let’s hear a big round of applause for all of you who posted in the Mega-Post and kept it alive for a year and four months. Please use this comment thread to post your fondest memories of the post with the most…

the Mega-Post.

7,828 thoughts on “The Mega-Post is Dead”

  1. Oh. I thought that was just what my face looked like.

    Although relieved, I was kind of getting used to the cracks.

    Now I just need a mirror for the soul. I’m sure that’ll work out fine.

  2. Dammit. I’ve been anonymised again. Forgot I’d done a clean install.

    Obviously I much prefer dirty installs. The filthier the better.

    Just so you don’t all reject me.

  3. Lordy! But at least we’re back. That was a worry. I almost left the house. But then I found some crackers at the back of the cupboard and that tethered me.

    I’ve always looked somewhat generic anyway, which has been handing for photoshoots but less so for passport control. Hopefully this is just a temporary measure. Like my marriage. And kids.

  4. I’m going to try leading them away from the house with a false drag trail made of liquidised Haribo and ketchup. Either that or just demolish the house when they’re at school and run away. It’ll be cheaper in the long run.

  5. BroMu,

    I think your trail of liquidised Haribo and ketchup has attracted something. Not sure what it is though.

    Where are Del’s critters when you need them??

  6. I know someone of that name but I’m pretty sure it’s not her. She’s not a fan of ketchup and generally speaks in coherent sentences.

    I’m not loving this generic whiteout we’ve got going here either. We need a backup plan in case the whole thing goes down and our awesome wittery is lost to the world.

    My god . . . the horror . . .

  7. And also: what if the esteemed Mr. Moltz decides he can’t monetize this site enough and shuts it down? Do we need an escape destination?

  8. Fellow Giga-Postians,

    I want to apologize for my absence of the last couple of months. Or, at least since January 25 or so. It turns out that I nearly died. Went to the emergency room on the 25th, and soon lost consciousness. I was awakened from an induced coma a couple of weeks later to learn that I had been struck by septic shock that originated in a gallstone, spitting E. coli everywhere, shutting down the kidneys and various other systems. Somehow the medical crew pulled me through that, and there are just a few more details to manage. I’m back at the hospital (with my iPhone now) and in a few days will have surgery to remove my gall bladder as well as a portion of my colon.

    All that remains is for me to learn how to craft a post containing a bit of irony or wit, perhaps. I believe there was a time when I could be funny—at least look funny or smell funny…

  9. Good lord, Ace. The lengths you go to to one-up us is really impressive. The last thing I had removed was my self-respect (surgeon: Mrs Kipples). I would make some comment about not having the gall to compete with you, but clearly we’re better than that. You need to reign it in, though, or soon there won’t be enough of you to chop up. Your brush with Mr G Reaper does perhaps push us further down the ‘We really need to be able to contact each other if the Giga Fun ends’ route, methinks. I’m going to contact Mr Moltz with a plan.

    In other news . . . Jesus CHRIST ALMIGHTY! I hope you’re feeling more chipper now and hope things are improving. You poor bugger.

  10. To steal from Pam Poovey of Archer fame: “Holy shitsnacks!” On a temporarily serious note, best wishes for a speedy recovery, and not in that sarcastic “thoughts and prayers” way.

    The rest of us no longer have valid excuses for not posting on our usual irregular schedules.

  11. Thanks, mates! Surgery is done except for a phase two in the lower intestine—to be done after all the current inflammation is gone.

    I shudder to think that we might have to reveal our secret identities at some point(not to suggest that these are not our real identities).

    And here’s hoping that Nxxx’s recent health problems haven’t got the best of him.

  12. Sorry for my very brief hiatus . . . which you clearly noticed and mourned. I can’t compete with Ace by offering a ‘had my internal organs swapped for silly-string’ tale, alas (y’bloody show off), but I have tried to contact Our Lord Moltz in my absence with a plan to maintain contact should the site go down. And I’ve also contacted The Suckers R Us to get hold of some spiritist mediums (surely ‘media’?) and squeegee boards should all of *us* go down. So far nothing back from either, but I’ll keep trying. Ace, if you see a bright light (and Nxxx also, if he’s crocked again), then just put on some shades. And turn up the telly.

  13. To be honest, Ace, it’s my approach to most of what life throws at me. The only addition would be ‘And eat some chocolate fudge cake’, but I fear your impending bowl-rending prohibits such and approach.

    Sensitively phrased descriptions of your predicament in the cause of rhyme aside . . . I feel the need to send you something, like grapes or Reader’s Digest, but am increasingly frustrated by our disconnectedness (from each other, for once, rather than the general flow of moral existence). I’m going to give Mr Moltz another nudge . . .

  14. Like Clark Kent, I would prefer not revealing my true identity, but considering that we are the last regulars at CARS, I feel we are kin as well as friends. I have my real-life email address to share if CARS is to be shut down.

  15. I’m going to give mine to Master Moltz so he can pass it on to the rest of you, then you can all either reply or not letting me know whether I can pass them around. I did this with another site that went down years ago and we’re all still in intermittent communication, so fingers crossed. Similarly for your speedy recovery, Ace.

      1. You might, depending on the current state of the “terms of service,” be able to use a pseudonym. So you could still remain borderline anonymous. I was just too lazy to try to think of a fake name when I started posting here, so my actual first name is Steve (I know, the horror).

        I don’t use it that much, though I’ve been using it since 2010 (I blame boredom whilst stuck indoors during a blizzard). The other well-known social network gets on my nerves from time to time, and I’ve curtailed my use of it.

  16. Ooo noooo. I don’t do social stuff. It would just eat into my pie-and-Gigapost time.

    Apparently it’s lovely, though, and brings out the very best in people. Like booze. And supporting the England football team abroad.

  17. I’ve heard that with the Twitter service one must “follow” others. That sounds creepy. Is it possible to lead, or just mosey around?

  18. I believe the model here, Ace, is the 2014 flickershow ‘It Follows’. I’m sure much good will come of it.

  19. I celebrated it 12 years ago by proposing to my now-wonderful-no-really-she’s-like-a-tiny-ninja-and-can-sneak-up-on-you-when-you’re-typing-so-it’s-best-to-play-it-safe-wife. In front of the Tiger tank. At Bovington Tank Museum. At one minute past twelve, just so she wasn’t quite sure for a while.

    Of course, it turns out there was really only one Fool present that day, as the last dozen years have so clearly revealed . . .

  20. BroMu, the parallels on this side of the pond are uncanny: my Darling Wife and I were going to get married on April Fools’ Day 12 years ago, but the scheduling didn’t work out. So we settled for a less memorable calendar day weeks later.

  21. “Can’t monetize this site enough”? That’s a joke, right?

    Anyway, I have no plans to summarily shut down this time and money sucking venture. Too many good memories.

  22. That’s freakish, Steve. Your date-synchronicity, I mean, not the Advent of the Moltz. If you married an evil golem, my precious, then the parallels abound.

    Talking of, and to, Our Lord Moltz . . . er, how do I contact you ‘in private’.

    No, not like that.

    Well, maybe a bit like that.

    If you’ve been reading the preceding thread (as penance for all number of obvious sins), you may have noticed that I want you to give my email to Ace, Steve and Nxxx, if possible, lest your largesse reach its limit at some point? I tried a weeny bit of cyber-stalking and sent you a mail, but if you send me one on my email, er, I’ll have yours. And then I can send you a mail . . . erm . . . giving the okay to send my address to the others.

    It’s soooooooo quick and easy, isn’t it, all this modern techno stuff?

  23. At least Mr. Moltz got the “sucking” part right. Though that’s more a reflection of us than anything else.

    Anyway… If Mr. Moltz or my friends or cousins here will be visiting near our favorite fruit company, let me know. I’m not too far from there, and will gladly buy you a pint.

  24. Is it ‘True’, Ace? In other news . . . there’s an ominous silence of late from our Fourth Gigateer. Nxxx, if you’re out there . . . can you let us know you’re okay? Ideally by doing something wildly inappropriate but similarly amusing that gets you on the evening news and in a cell for the night in one swoop?

  25. I’ve noticed that some of the tunnels have poor internet connectivity. Let’s hope that Nxxx is merely tending to the mushroom patch.

  26. BroMu, which news should I be watching to see if Nxxx made it? On this side of the pond, there’s only so much news that I can take before wanting to kick in the television.

  27. I recommend getting your news from RT. I find its coverage always fair and even-handed, particularly in reference to any excursions by members of the Russian security services overseas. In say the Crimea. Or Ukraine. Or Salisbury. I’d imagine they’ll give Nxxx airtime provided he shouts ‘Western conspiracy!’ and ‘Fake Nato News!’ at various points throughout proceedings. Ideally while offing an investigative journalist in a lift by accidentally double-tapping him/her in the back of the head with an SPS Serdyukov.

  28. I trust any news source as far as I can throw my voice (note: I am not a ventriloquist). These days, it’s easy to verify your sources so long as you don’t have a full time job or any time-consuming hobbies.

  29. I verify my news source by checking whether it just came out of my mouth. In particular, I’m interested in articles about belching, groaning when standing and the whereabouts of the childrens’ Easter egg mountain.

  30. Need I mention that only 19 comments need to be added to attain 7777?

    Sorry, make that 18. I seem to be adding one as I speak.

  31. I sense some comment stacking coming. Though without knowing when page jumps will trigger, it may make this a bit more difficult than usual. (I had to rewrite the previous sentence multiple times, to avoid the potential double meanings…)

  32. BroMu, if he’s from beyond the Dome, I’m OK with that. If he’s from beyond Thunderdome, we might want to worry…

  33. I remember you, Cai.

    Wasn’t your handle Caius the Fleabag or some such in the distant past?

    Yes, I bought a new Intel-based Mac, years ago, when it was new.

    Cai, please do us all a favor and round up Nxxx, Del, Psyko, and any other missing slackers you can find. You will paid handsomely, I’m sure.

    1. I’ve had many names over the years. Not all flattering!
      Caius, Chaos the Fleabag, Sk8rCAi, CapoeiraCai, the list goes on!

      Last I heard from Del she was off on her farm doing system admin stuff! How long has Nxxx been missing?

      I may have missed a few things!

  34. (lying in wait, separated from the others by several time zones, hoping to pounce on the elusive comment number…)

  35. This is comment 7773, brought to you by a poster from the Pacific Northwest of the USA, who lives approximately 140 miles south of John Moltz.

    1. This is 7776. Posted from South Yorkshire in the wilds of the uncivilised UK. Where we eat small babies and walk 30 miles in the driving rain, uphill to school, each way.

  36. Stuff it! I’m claiming the 7777 victory if I’m the only one that’s going to be up and writing and conscious and stuff!

    I’ve given everyone enough time to come in and claim it!

    It’s mine….forever MINE, MINE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!

  37. The prize is not living in North Yorkshire. Or, god help him . . . Lancashire.

    Or dahn sarf in Gravesend, with me.

    On a slightly less jolly side-note . . . where is Nxxx. And should we be as worried about him as we’re all pretending we’re not about Ace (in which context, how are your bits, Ace? . . . I’ve entered the room and mounted the elephant . . . and if that comment doesn’t bring Nxxx running, nothing will).

    1. Easy tiger, I’m moving closer to York in a few week! 😉

      I’m actually a sahvernah moiself, me old son matey jim, flip flap, fella me lad, captain, skipper, bob-a-job, big plop!

  38. Is that some kind of plinth reference? Sometimes the Britishisms get lost in comprehension on this side of the pond.

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