While a story by the Register decribes the many users who have complained about scratches on the screens of their new iPod nanos, one user who has such scratches is not complaining.
That is likely because the scratches on Ithaca College junior Justin Wooden’s new iPod nano are in the shape of a naked picture of Jennifer fricking Connelly.
“I’ve only had my nano for about a week,” Wooden said. “I’m kind of hard on stuff like this and at first was pretty pissed off to see that it was getting really scratched across the front from being in my pocket with my keys.
“But around Thursday of last week I started to notice a pattern…”
Wooden carefully presented his iPod nano which he has since encased in custom-built wooden case lined with satin to protect it.
“I showed it to my buddy and said, ‘Hey, does that look like Jennifer fricking Connelly to you?’ And he was like ‘Holy crap, it is! It’s Jennifer fricking Connelly! And she’s naked!‘”
Wooden insists the scratches in the form of a naked Jennifer fricking Connelly are from normal wear and are not the result of deliberate damage to the screen of his nano.
Word of the appearance of the image has spread like wildfire and many have travelled great distances to see it.
“I drove all the way from SUNY Purchase to see the iPod nano scratches that look like a naked picture of Jennifer fricking Connelly,” Chris Harbaugh whispered reverently. “I’m not completely sure why. I have a broadband connection in my dorm. I could have just found some real pictures on the Internet.
“But this… this is a miracle. Anyone can download naked pictures of Jennifer fricking Connelly, but only god can randomly scratch one onto the screen of an iPod nano.”
Turning to Wooden, Harbaugh said “You are truly blessed.”
Wooden nodded silently in agreement.
Wooden has not decided what to do with the nano in the long run, but is considering donating it to a museum where it may benefit all mankind.
When reached for comment, Apple was quick to point out that while some iPod nanos may receive scratches in the form of a naked Jennifer fricking Connelly, this was not to be considered a standard feature.