With rumors swirling of a first quarter 2006 delivery of Intel-based PowerBooks, Apple has devised a scheme to prop up flagging sales of existing PowerPC-based PowerBooks.
Using viral marketing through rumor sites such as this one, the company will spread the word that the first Intel-based PowerBooks will be horribly buggy pieces of crap.
By convincing customers that it makes little sense to wait for unproven technology, the company hopes to recapture lost sales.
“If I could talk to Apple customers through a web site such as yours,” an Apple source said, “I’d say ‘Don’t buy a buggy first-edition.’ PowerPC-based PowerBooks are mature, stable platforms. Get one while you still can!”
Apple followers note that the philosophy, while being employed for Apple’s gain, is not entirely made of whole cloth.
“Think about it,” said Macworld magazine editor Jason Snell. “Macs are not used to having Intel chips inside them. It’s an unnatural pairing. It’s going to be like those episodes of the Twilight Zone or Outer Limits where some guy gets a new heart and then finds out it came from a serial killer and all of a sudden he goes on an uncontrollable killing spree.
“Seriously. It’s going to be just like that. PowerBooks on homicidal rampages.”
According to sources, once the Intel-based PowerBooks appear the company will shift gears and make it clear that anyone still owning a PowerPC-based PowerBook is a total loser luddite who is a little girl and cries like a girl and likes to wear little dresses and prance around like a girl.
Except for the girls who will be portrayed as something else.