16 Nov 05Apple Sued By Soap-On-A-Rope People.


Adding to the company’s now voluminous legal problems, Apple was targeted today in a lawsuit by the makers of the popular soap-on-a-rope line of products.

Claiming that Apple has infringed on a patent owned by them, Soap-On-A-Rope Inc. is seeking damages and an injunction against the sale of the iPod shuffle and iPod nano.

“We clearly own the patent on white sort of rectangles that dangle from a rope,” said Soap-On-A-Rope Inc. CEO Walter Mortenson. “Apple has stolen our intellectual property.

“And dammit, I wish people would stop laughing when I say that!”

Apple denied that soap-on-a-rope was any kind of influence on either the shuffle or the nano.

“It’s absurd to think that just because both look almost exactly the same that there is any kind of connection,” said an emphatic Senior Vice President of the iPod division Jonathan Rubinstein.

Rubinstein’s message would have been more convincing, however, if he had not been wearing nothing but a thick terry cloth robe with a towel wrapped around his head and an iPod shuffle dangling from a lanyard about his neck.

Soap-On-A-Rope Inc. is seeking over $18 billion in lost sales.

“We believe that most of the sales of the iPod shuffle and the iPod nano are to confused consumers looking to purchase wearable personal cleansing products,” Mortenson said.

Mortenson said that he himself had fallen victim to Apple’s obvious ploy and would have have returned the shuffle he bought, but he really likes that song Laffy Taffy by D4L.

25 Responses to “Apple Sued By Soap-On-A-Rope People.”

  1. Tritone says:

    First post, again!

    I can’t decide if that is awesome or pathetic :/

  2. Tritone says:

    Huh, I don’t get the Laffy Taffy reference. Oh, well. Hey is this 2nd post? Well, I concede 2nd post; whoever wants it can have it.

  3. Dan says:

    My Soap doesn’t scratch when it’s in my pocket, but it does seem just as edible…

  4. Jon Edmondson says:

    Fourth, and I read the story!

  5. 2000guitars says:

    At risk of commenting about the story so early in the posts…

    How do YOU know that he had nothing on under the terry cloth robe? Was the robe untied? Was he wearing it backwards? You did say it was a thick robe. That would preclude certain, ah, other ways of being sure.

  6. Caveman says:

    Awesome.

    I personally thought whistle-on-a-lanyard makers were going to sue Apple first, but this makes more sense. The roap-on-a-soap people have a clear case.

  7. Nxxx says:

    Wear my Motorola E550 on a lanyard. Is that why I keep getting beaten up by Soap on a Rope representatives?

  8. John says:

    That’s soap? I thought it was a mouse.

  9. daffy says:

    last post… for now

  10. Streetrabbit says:

    These rope people have a valid case. Their namespace is continually being invaded by johnny come lately wanna be soap called hanger oners.

    Once upon a time it was just sweetly scented sodium hydroxidey, lardy goodness. Now you go into a chemist’s and you don’t know if you’re coming out with a protocol, a tacky television show or a referral to the Society for Obstetric Anesthesia and Perinatology.

    It’s all too much.

    Steetrabbit’s Online Angry Protest

  11. Streetrabbit says:

    The previous post is too lengthy to be called a bump so I’m claiming…

    ELEVENTH!!!!

  12. Slowpoke says:

    Aliens landing outside the apple campus? Soap on a roap file for an injunctions? Co-inkidink? I think not!

    12

  13. Will Feldhusen says:

    I wonder if apples next move is to make a cleansing iPod. Or i soap will start playing music. Will it be a free upgrade from normal soap?

  14. one man and his mac says:

    Well, seeing as no one took up Tritone’s offer, I claim second post!

    and hang on, $18 billion in lost sales?? that’s a helluva lot of soap (and rope too probably). who’s (not) buying it all?

  15. The Invisible Evil Boy's Lynch Mob says:

    ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE!

    ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE!

    ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE!

    ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE! ROPE!

  16. Billy Crystal says:

    Soap isn’t on the ropes, by any means. My royalty payments for the DVD collections are still quite robust, thank you.

    Love,

    Billy.

  17. John C. Randolph says:

    You know, I accidentally washed my face with my iPod nano the other day, and it just made my face blacker and blacker, the more I washed!

    Really funny, guys. I’ll get you with the Onion Gum trick for this. If that doesn’t work, I’ll get you with the exploding cigarette trick, even if Apple is a no-smoking zone. Just you wait!

    -jcr

  18. Anonymous says:

    Soap on a rope? I thought that was a picture of the Sony latest “no really THIS one is the iPod Killer”

  19. Step says:

    I claim 2nd! Weeee!

    And pants – I claim those too.

    oh wait – damn you, one man and his mac. Us peeps on the US east coast can’t get no breaks.

    [goes back to corner and weeps silently]

  20. greenacres says:

    Does this mean that if you listen to Sony BMG music it will try to ‘install’ a rootkit into you while the music cleans you?

  21. Will Feldhusen says:

    If soap-on-a-rope gets soap socks I’ll stop buying. And, I claim second to last. Try and stop me now! Bwa! Ha! Ha! Ha…

  22. webpablo says:

    Actually, I was shocked. . . nay. . .appalled, that last christmas I actually bought by dad one of those bars of soap thinking it was an Apple Wireless Mouse. It RUINED his christmas morning, that thing wouldn’t pair for shit. . .then when we took it to the apple store, the Mac Genius wouldn’t even replace it for us. I am not sure who I should sue. . . but I am thinking it is probably Apple. . .

    -webpablo out!

  23. “I thought that was a picture of the Sony latest “no really THIS one is the iPod Killer”” — “”

    “That’s soap? I thought it was a mouse.” — John

    “ROPE!…” — The Invisible Evil Boy’s Lynch Mob

    “I’m confused.” — me

  24. Anonymous says:

    SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR DAMN CAKE, BILLARD