According to published reports, Apple CEO Steve Jobs negotiated to keep a 32-foot glass cube – that Jobs designed himself to be the centerpiece of a sprawling New York City Apple Store – after the store’s lease expires in twenty years.
But the cube is but one of the many features of Jobs’ masterpiece.
According to sources, the mercurial CEO is determined to make this Apple Store a testament to his lasting impact on Apple and the world.
“This Apple Store shall be as the pyramids of old were unto the Pharaohs, said a source who spoke in the condition of anonymity. “Steve has secured his immortality through the construction of such a marvel.
“Um, well, at least for the next twenty years.”
According to sources, Jobs is being a difficult task master as usual.
Surveying the work already done, Jobs was reported to have peered into a pit running the perimeter of the store and muttered “Hmm. Needs more scorpions.”
But the pit full of scorpions and shards of glass is not the only thing that has drawn Jobs’ ire.
“You call that a minaret?” Jobs reportedly asked. “That’s not a minaret. I want a minaret that’s so big it’ll make your head explode. Now get me my god damn minaret!”
Jobs has further decreed that anyone involved in the construction of the store will be executed shortly after it is completed, to ensure that nothing of its kind will ever be built again. As this violates several union regulations, Jobs personally negotiated a special deal with the unions involved.
“I don’t know why we agreed to it,” said Local 425 representative Frank Zamudio. “We’re gonna lose some pretty good guys because of this. But that Steve Jobs is a pretty persuasive fella.”
The store is expected to open in the spring, assuming subcontractors can supply 4,000 cherubs in black turtlenecks and jeans in time.