According to a press releases issued by both companies today, Creative – makers of an also-ran digital music player – and Apple – makers of the industry-leading iPod – have agreed to meet out by the swings after class tomorrow to rumble.
The arrangement caps months of posturing and, by mutual agreement, will supposedly settle their differences once and for all.
Some gleeful technology industry followers could barely contain their excitement.
“This is gonna be so excellent!” the New York Times’ David Pogue declared. “Apple’s gonna be like wham! And Creative’s gonna be like scudda-bwam! And then Apple’s gonna be like dooj-dooj! But Apple is so gonna kick Creative’s ass! Creative’s gonna be crying like a girl! Like a girl!
“Ha-ha! It’s gonna be so excellent.”
The Wall Street Journal’s Walt Mossberg disagreed.
“The fact that Creative holds a patent so similar to the interface used in the iPod,” Mossberg said, “and that the Zen player came to market first are compelling legal arguments that will establish precedent.
“And, um, Creative is so gonna whale on Apple. I mean, like, it’s totally going to kick Apple’s ass. Like, Apple would need to be spotted, like, some nunchucks or something just to, like, not get its ass completely kicked.
“‘Cause it’s so gonna get its ass kicked.”
Intel, Sony, Microsoft and several other technology companies were expected to gather out by the swings at the appointed time to watch. The entire thing may get called off, however, because IBM indicated that it was going to tell Mrs. McReedy about the fight.