According to sources, some crazy-assed dude in Portland, Oregon, is buying himself a PowerBook. This shocking turn of event takes place just weeks before Apple is almost universally expected to introduce Intel-based PowerBooks in speeds of up to 3 Ghz for less than $1,000.
“That dude’s crazy!” exclaimed Pioneer Place Apple Store shopper Jim Greenfield, watching in shock from a safe distance as Adam Wilbourne completed his PowerBook purchase. “Doesn’t he know Apple’s going to introduce new Intel-based PowerBooks with, like, 8 GB of RAM and 400 GB hard drives for $500?”
Fellow shopper Rachel Hintz shook her head derisively.
“You’re way off on your specs,” she said. “It’s 20 GB of RAM and these new 7200 RPM terabyte drives from Toshiba that are completely silent. And Apple’s going to bust the $100 barrier.”
Hintz indicated Apple would actually be paying customers to take Intel-based iBooks when they are introduced as a “loss leader” in order to generate micro-payment sales on the iTunes Music Store.
Despite this analysis, Hintz claimed to have graduated from the University of Oregon with a degree in business.
Wilbourne, however, was unfazed by repeated entreaties to stop from both friends and strangers, as well as the odd slow-motion gesticulations and cries of “Noooooooo!” from those around him.
“I need a PowerBook now,” Wilbourne said simply, seemingly confused by the commotion. “And I’m not even sure I want an Intel-based Mac right now as I’d have to run a number of apps through Rosetta. And I expect the first generation may have some glitches.
“Ultimately, though, I just really have no idea what Apple’s going to announce at Macworld, or three week later or three months later for that matter. No one does.”
“It’s like that dude never read a rumor site!” Greenfield exclaimed, his eyes wide with disbelief. “What a crazy-assed dude!”
Ironically, Wilborne even shrugged off a last-minute appeal from an Apple sales associate who indicated that Macworld would bring PowerBooks with the ability to command the forces of time, space and dimension and free and recursively splitting magical Apple stock.