So sorry.


Nothing today.

In the comments please enjoy a rousing game of “I’ve never.”

You know, where you say something you’ve never done and everyone who has done it has to take a drink.

And be honest.

We’ll know. Oh, yes. We will.

54 thoughts on “So sorry.”

  1. I think “Never have I ever” is the correct/more common name of this game, and I’ll start off.

    Never have I ever had intercourse with two members of the same family.

  2. So far you’re all liars.

    That invalidates all your “I’ve never”/”Never have I ever”‘s.

    Leaving me with the first one.

    And I prefer “Never, ever have I” as it sounds better.

    So here:

    ~Never, ever have I had a dream about a sexbot.~

    Really.

    I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

  3. What, you don’t read ATAT? 🙂

    I have never eaten strawberry ice-cream on top of Mount Everest while standing in a bucket of chilled water and not urinating.

  4. You mean AtAT still has a server up? I’ve never failed to see a moose while standing in chilled bunny boots and urinating off the back porch…

  5. “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything”

    we are the pirates who don’t do anything

    we just stay at home, and lie around

    and if you ask us, to do anything

    we’ll just tell you, we don’t do anything

    well I’ve never been to Greenland

    and I’ve never been to Denver

    and I’ve never buried treasure in ST Louie or ST Paul

    and I’ve never been to Moscow

    and I’ve never been to Tampa

    and I’ve never been to Boston in the fall

    we are the pirates who don’t do anything

    we just stay at home, and lie around

    and if you ask us, to do anything

    we’ll just tell you, we don’t do anything

    and I’ve never hoist the main sail

    and I’ve never swabbed the poop deck

    and I’ve never veered starboard, cause I’ve never sailed at all

    and I’ve never walked the gang plank

    and I’ve never owned a parrot.

    and I’ve never been to Boston in the fall

    we are the pirates who don’t do anything

    we just stay at home, and lie around

    and if you ask us, to do anything

    we’ll just tell you, we don’t do anything

    I’ve never plucked a rooster

    and I am not too good at ping-pong

    and I’ve never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall

    and I’ve never kissed a chipmunk,

    and I’ve never gotten head lice

    and I have never been to Boston in the fall

    (pirate captains log 2002

    who be this band relient k

    and why they be so full of contradictions)

    we don’t know what he did

    but we’re down with captain kidd

    we don’t wake up before lunch

    but we all eat captain crunch

    we don’t smoke, we don’t chew

    we watch captain kangaroo

    and I’ve never licked a spark-plug

    and I’ve never sniffed a stink bug

    and I’ve never painted Daisies on a big red rubber ball

    and I’ve never bathed in yogurt

    and I don’t look good in leggings

    and I’ve never been to Boston in the fall

    we are the pirates who don’t do anything

    we just stay at home, and lie around

    and if you ask us, to do anything

    we’ll just tell you, we don’t do anything

    we are the pirates who don’t do anything

    we just stay at home, and lie around

    and if you ask us, to do anything

    we’ll just tell you, we don’t do anything

  6. I have never failed to produce a comical website article on a weekday.

    Come on Moltz, get drinking!

  7. I’ve never felt less curious at the complete lack of telltale blood stains covering the area where the body should have been.

  8. I’ve never understood why Apple’s Apple has a bite in it.

    Posted by Guy at December 16, 2005 05:08 AM

    But… it doesn’t… it has a bite OUT of it… if it had the bite in, it would be well again. I’ve never ever… never ever have I… never have I ever taken an actual bite out of an actual Apple logo.

  9. Wahoo!

    Go the Pirates who don’t do anything!

    Who would have thought that a Veggietales song (albeit the Relient K version) would ever be mentioned on CARS.

  10. Never have I ever been done gone to none school.

    Never have I ever found a more defensible (and fulfilling) way to procrastinate than enjoying a rousing game of “I’ve never” in the comments at CARS.

    I hope you find my post to be sufficiently rousing.

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