Crazy Apple Rumors Site will be off for the holidays until probably January 3rd.
We can’t be sure. There are some… uh… unresolved extradition proceedings.
Anyway, we hope y’all have a happy holiday and to kick it off our highly-placed Apple sources bring us this list of the holiday plans of Apple’s executives.
- Chief Technologist Avie Tevanian – Using some of his $33 million in 2005 compensation to have Nebraska covered in gold leaf, just because he can.
- Chief Counsel Nancy Heinen – Working. It’s not like all those lawsuits are going to dismiss themselves.
- Senior Vice President of Retail Ron Johnson – Sitting naked in front of the television watching It’s A Wonderful Life over and over again and then crying himself to sleep.
- Chief Operating Officer Tim Cook – Running a cock-fighting ring in Tijuana. Same as last year.
- Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller – Opening each present thinking “Please let it be a puck! Please let it be a puck!” and then jumping up and down insanely when it does, in fact, turn out to be a puck.
- CEO Steve Jobs – Annoyingly giving family members all of their presents but one and then saying “One more thing…” before giving them the last one. And repeatedly over the course of the week reminding himself that you can’t fire family members.
See you in the New Year!
Unless, you know, the extradition proceedings go faster than expected.