04 Jan 06Strange Apple Technical Document Discovered.


Apple Technical Document 205422 – recently discovered by several Mac users and forwarded to Crazy Apple Rumors Site – is considered highly unusual.

It is one of but a handful of documents in the company’s online database that do not cover any technical details of Apple hardware or software, or either any administrative matters such as the AppleCare protection plan.

Instead, this particular document details the horrible pain of prostate infection.

According to the document,

OH, MY GOD! THE PAIN! THE BURNING! OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CAN’T SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP?!

Dr. Leon Taylor of the Stanford University Medical Center said “Prostate infection is not tied to prostate cancer, which is obviously far more serious, but it’s still pretty nasty. Horribly painful urination, bleeding from the… uh… male organ…

“Pff. Man, I hope I never get it.”

According to Apple sources, the document was written several years ago by an Apple employee no longer with the company.

“He apparently took a couple of weeks of sick leave about the time he wrote this document,” said Barry Kaul, manager of Apple’s online database of technical documents.

“We’re still not sure how it got in there. I mean, the whole thing just goes on and on about the fever, the painful ejaculation…

“And all in capital letters. It’s totally against our style guide.”

Kaul said he has removed the document from the database and also taken the added step of scheduling a preventive care visit with his doctor.

“Because… man, I don’t want to get that.”

No Responses to “Strange Apple Technical Document Discovered.”

  1. Longhorn fan says:

    Hook ‘Em

    (frist psot)

  2. YabbaDabbaDoo says:

    Ye-owch! Now I HAVE to pee!

    Firstest!

  3. Mr. Nice Guy says:

    Third!

    Now then… who shall I kill first?

  4. YabbaDabbaDoo says:

    Me! Me! Do me first!

  5. Nxxx says:

    Can you patent diseases? Oh. Just remembered one of those other operating systems…………

  6. Elwood says:

    Six!

  7. Zeb says:

    Rubber glove please and hold the KY? Yeowch!

    Numero 6

  8. Not that I read this stuff. Eighth.

  9. Lae says:

    Ninth circle!

  10. jobo da hobo says:

    “Because… man, I don’t want to get that.”

    -Kaul

    I believe I can safely say that we all share that sentiment

    wow, I’m so honored. this is the first time I’ve ever set up for….

  11. You know who says:

    POST #THE ELEVENTEENTH

  12. Will Feldhusen says:

    Now you’ve scared me! Waaaa!

  13. Streetrabbit says:

    Devil’s number…13

  14. Karl says:

    Love the Google Ads for this post! Ha!

  15. The Visible Evil Cows Choir says:

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  16. Someone's Gotta Do It says:

    Most unnusual, indeed.

    Where’s the Spell Czech when you need one?

  17. Ace Deuce says:

    I refuse to garnish this tasteless article with a comment…oops.

  18. JAV says:

    2 of today’s Google ads are for prostate creams. Ha ha.

    JAV

  19. Spell Czech says:

    When you don’t know when Moltz is going to post, it gets a little hard to keep up.

    But I am suprised that he knows what a style sheet is. It’s as if he’s owned one before. Or at least, picked one up off someone else’s desk.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment to make. Because I don’t want to get that, either.

  20. iBode says:

    I’m scared now.

  21. Spell Czech says:

    NOBODY expects the Czech Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise…surprise and fear…fear and surprise…. Our two weapons are fear and surprise…and ruthless efficiency…. Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency…and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope…. Our *four*…no… *Amongst* our weapons…. Amongst our weaponry…are such elements as fear, surprise…. I’ll come in again.

  22. scared monster says:

    Â…infections?

    No, just a suggestion.

    Forget it.